


A true gentlewoman

by Just_a_fan37



Series: The Last Great American Dynasty [1]
Category: Little Women (2019), Little Women Series - Louisa May Alcott
Genre: 19th century courtship, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Mutual Pining, Sisterhood, Slow Burn, Temporarily Unrequited Love, like really slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 62,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25098037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_a_fan37/pseuds/Just_a_fan37
Summary: From very early in her life, Amy learned to use reason above heart. She kept her feelings inside, without revealing them to anyone.Had Fred proposed a couple of months earlier, he would have been the proud husband of the youngest March sister. The family would have been safe. But when she saw Fred on one knee, she couldn’t utter a simple “yes”. Maybe it was her mother’s teachings, but maybe it had been Laurie.Or, Beth doesn’t die and Laurie and Amy don’t get together in Europe, but in Concord. Based on the book and 2019 movie and The Other Alcott.Rewritten version.
Relationships: Amy March & Aunt March, Amy March & Florence Carrol, Amy March & Josephine March, Amy March & Margaret March, Amy March/Fred Vaughn, Theodore Laurence & Amy March, Theodore Laurence & James Laurence, Theodore Laurence/Amy March
Series: The Last Great American Dynasty [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079546
Comments: 221
Kudos: 241





	1. New adventures and old friends

**Author's Note:**

> I’m alive *imagines Mushu’s meme resurrecting*.  
> I am happy to say that I have finally read the book and made the necessary adjustments to the story. I now have easter eggs and flashbacks that will enrich Amy and Laurie’s story.  
> Here’s the first chapter of my rewritten story.

**October, 1868, London.**

_ You laugh at me when I say I want to be a lady, but I mean a true gentlewoman in mind and manners, and I try to do it as far as I know how. I can't explain exactly, but I want to be above the little meannesses and follies and faults that spoil so many women. I'm far from it now, but I do my best, and hope in time to be what Mother is. _

Amy remembered her words as she saw the ship coming nearer to the shore. She was 18, and more than ready to live up to her own expectations and promises. Britain would be their first stop on a trip that may last years. The thought of it made Amy somewhat sad. She was going to miss her family so much. But she was there for a purpose and there was no going back. 

Unfortunately for Aunt Carrol and Florence, their stomachs couldn’t handle the trip. Mr. Carrol wasn’t even an option; he was too busy spending time with the rest of the men on board. So that left Amy on her own, not that it mattered. Jo had once told her she was never afraid of going anywhere alone, and she was right.  She quickly met people pleasant enough to spend the next couple of weeks on that ship. There was Miss Hathaway from New Hampshire, accompanied by her husband on their honeymoon. She also met a few young travelers and a couple of aspiring artists. But by far the most memorable (and not exactly in a good way) was Mr. Lennox. Amy knew she was attractive, Laurie’s friends had confirmed that. However, most of her followers were usually her age. Mr. Lennox must have been 35 years old and he could be too much sometimes. He would constantly appear during her walks and talk for hours about anything and everything. 

Once they arrived at Queenstown, Amy said goodbye to her new acquaintances. In Liverpool, the couple of cousins began to enjoy the Old Continent. Everything amazed them, even the small things! But what surprised her more than anything was the bouquet of roses that were waiting for her in the hotel. Amy rolled her eyes as she read the note accompanying the flowers: _For my favorite traveling companion. Your friend Lennox._ Florence would tease her for a while, making jokes about their future bald kids and boring conversations. 

They moved to London quickly. Regardless of the pollution and the noise, Amy appreciated the vibrancy of the capital. Everything moved so fast and was so crowded. It was truly an overwhelming city. But she could live with all of that, only for the opportunity to visit its art. As a child, she had read all the books about artists and admired the beautiful paintings of European masters. Seeing them in person was an absolute treat. One of her first stops was the British Museum. She was fascinated with all the riches the museum had come to collect; especially with the new acquisitions from Ancient Greece. Those were the models Amy admired so much since she was little. She couldn’t resist. She spent hours sketching every piece. However, much to her dismay, she couldn’t stay all day in museums. After all, this was also a trip to appear in society.

Flo was somewhat used to social events at home. Her mother had arranged a whole schedule for her and Amy was included as her companion. But regardless of the etiquettes, the two girls didn’t mind their supposed roles. They were two friends enjoying their time in Europe. Flo loved Amy. For months, she thought her mother was going to ask Jo to accompany them and she wasn’t shy about her disagreement. Everyone knew how rebellious Jo was and the idea of spending time with her never alluded her. Actually, the March family seemed like distant relatives, except for Amy. Flo knew her cousin wore her old dresses, but it was until Amy began spending more time with Aunt March that they became closer. 

One day, Mrs. Carrol came from the Chester fair looking pleased. Flo was in the drawing room knitting some pattern for her trip to Europe.  _ Flo, dear,  _ her mother called.  _ How would you like Amy to come with us to Europe? I know we mentioned Jo first, but Aunt March has said so many good things about her that I confirmed today. I believe Amy’s company will be good for you. She’ll be a loyal friend.  _ Flo didn’t even ask her mother for explanations about her sudden change of mind. She was just happy that Amy was coming with her. But despite Flo’s excitement, she remained silent until her mother talked to Amy’s parents. And one day, her mother came back with high spirits.  _ You would not believe what Amy did today at the fair.  _ She went on to tell the story to her husband and daughter. Mr. Carrol looked satisfied and urged his wife to redact the letter for the Marches telling them the good news: Amy was invited to travel with them. 

Now, both girls were about to live the best experience in their lives. They would enjoy balls and social life, maybe attracting one or two suitors along the way. But both she and Flo were only 18 and they had to wait for such things. Or at least, that’s what Amy thought. A couple of months before she turned 19 years old, an old acquaintance reappeared in her life. 

On a cool afternoon, Flo and Amy were having tea. The cousins enjoyed the day without noticing the two gentlemen looking at them and chatting. 

“Hey,” One of the men called his brother’s attention and moved his head signaling at Amy’s table. “Didn’t Laurie say Amy March was traveling in London?”

“Yes,” The other one looked in the direction shown. “That’s her! She’s grown up!” He noticed. “Should we say ‘hello’? They don’t look busy....”

“Come on,” He responded before the other finished his sentence. He quickly helped the other get up and approached the ladies. 

“Good evening. Miss March” The ladies dropped their conversation and looked at the couple standing in front of them. Amy looked puzzled. Their faces looked familiar, but she couldn’t figure out who they were. “You probably don’t remember us. I’m Fred Vaughn, this is my brother Frank.”

“Oh, my God, hi!” Amy said enthusiastically. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long time, you’ve changed. Call me Amy, please.”

“Changed for good, I hope.” Frank replied. 

“Of course.” Amy said back. “Oh, this is my cousin Florence. Flo, these are Fred and Frank Vaughn.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” Flo responded. “Please sit with us.” The two gentlemen accepted the offer. 

“Laurie told us you’d be here for a while.” Fred told Amy, he couldn’t look anywhere else. 

“Yes, we’ll stay here for a few more months, right?” Amy turned to Flo.

“Until father stops trying to appear briton.” Flo joked as she sipped her tea, and the group laughed.

“He also told us about Beth, I’m really sorry.” Frank said. “I hope she’s better now.”

“It seems so. She remains somewhat weak, though.”

“I’m pleased she made it through. She was very kind to me. Send her my best wishes.”

“Well, you did her good, too. Thank you. I’ll tell her, she’ll be happy to hear from you.”

“How is it that you know each other, again?” Flo asked, feeling lost in the conversation.

“Oh, we met...what?...seven years ago!” Amy explained.

“At Camp Laurence!” Fred added cheerfully.

“Camp Laurence?” Flo raised an eyebrow and spoke with a mocking tone.

“It was one day that Laurie invited us to have fun with a few friends. We went along the river and played some games... It was a good day.” Amy told her with a sense of melancholy.

“How’s the big hat, by the way?” Fred inquired.

“She’s...” Amy said laughing lightly at the nickname, remembering exactly who he was talking about. “She’s living in New York, now. She’ll try her luck as a writer there.”

“Good luck with that!” Fred raised his cup. He could imagine how hard and unusual that was for a woman. 

“We should go,” Flo said upon hearing a thunder. The group left the tea room and the boys offered to walk the ladies back to their hotel. As they walked on the sidewalk, they divided in couples. Fred used this opportunity to single out Amy and walk with her. The two kept going down to memory lane. The hotel was not far away and they reached it rather fast. 

“It was lovely seeing you again.” Fred said to Amy. “I hope we can do it more often.”

“Of course. That’d be great.” Amy answered friendly.

The boy didn’t lose time and sent a note to Amy the following day. Actually, it was Kate the one who wrote, but Fred was behind it. It was an invitation for her and Florence for an evening at Hyde Park. Now, this was going to sound like the best news to Aunt March who was increasingly desperate to marry Amy to a good, wealthy suitor. She heard the news of Jo traveling to New York, much to her disappointment, not that she had any bit of hope for Jo anyway. Hearing that Amy knew the Vaughn family, especially their heir, would be music to her ears. And indeed it was, however, she proceeded with caution and restrained herself from pressuring Amy. Her grand-niece viewed the invitation too innocently to ruin it with more complicated thought, for now. 

Regardless, Amy wanted to make a good impression. She put on her muslin dress and arranged her hair in the fashion of the moment, with some curls fallings on her back. A small hat adjusted to her head and she was set to go. Thankfully, the day seemed bright and perfect for an evening outside. The girls were greeted by the eldest Vaughn daughter. The group spend the day admiring the nature around them. Could it be possible how much everyone changed since Camp Laurence? Amy didn’t spend much time with Kate all those years ago, but she remembers her looks. She looked older, but she was still the tall and proud woman she had met. Her semblance was more mature. “I’m a married woman, now!” She informed Amy, followed by an account of her wedding day. Now this was unusual for Kate to be so cheerful and chatty to someone she barely met, but something was telling her Amy was worth the attention. Indeed, Fred’s petition to invite Amy and her cousin to spend time with them gave her hopes that her brother was finally ready to settle. 

As they walked through the place, Amy couldn’t hide her interest in the people riding. 

Amy remembered that Meg mentioned Kate used to draw, so she used it as a way to bond. “I can’t believe all the artworks I’ve seen here,” Amy started. “I’m amazed at your museums.”

“We do take pride in having talented artists.”

“You certainly do. Are you still drawing?”

“Oh, not at all. When would I find the time?” She asked rhetorically. “Running a household is enough!”

“That’s a pity. Meg said you were good at it.” Amy replied.

“It was just entertainment, something to keep me busy while I get married. I would never dream of making something more with it.” Amy thought for a moment before deciding not to talk about her ambitions. Which is funny, because she always talked about them with no censure in Concord. But now, it didn’t seem so easy to do it. Her family never stopped her from dreaming too much, but she was well aware that her family was unique in many ways. A traditional English family would not share their beliefs. She looked around in search of another theme of conversation. And she appeared excited as two young men in riding attire passed them, talking about races.

“Rotten Row is on the southern side of Hyde Park.” Explained Kate. “Do you ride?”

“Yes, I love it. But, I haven’t done it since I came here.” Amy answered nervously. 

“We can come back some other day, then!” Frank said, after receiving a push from behind, courtesy of Fred. The date was set for next week, and Amy spent the following days mending Flo’s old riding suit. Although Aunt March was able to provide for Amy’s needs, she wasn’t going to give her absolutely everything. And Amy wasn’t expecting that either. At least she was grateful that riding attires were generally dark colored, so there was little room for bad taste! 

\------------------------------------------------------

Amy stood looking at the path in front of her. It was a lively scene. People were all around, some families and groups of friends and a few couples filled the area. Amy smiled. “What?” Flo asked, noticing Amy's small laugh. “Nothing, I just remember Grace mentioned this place once.” The evening was lovely. Fred was a complete gentleman, focusing all his attention on Amy for the most part. And she even managed to impress him for her riding skills. She noticed the British women bouncing up and down in their horses. She couldn’t help but judge their poor riding. She may not have had the finest training, but Mr. Wilson has managed to teach her well and she was proud of it. 

“How about we go to a less crowded area and race!” Suggested Fred, and Amy took it with enthusiasm. They added some friends on the way. After all, Frank couldn’t, Flo didn’t feel up to it and Kate wasn’t interested. So that left Amy competing with five gentlemen and another brave woman about her age. 

“Alright lads, and ladies,” One of them said. “Ready, set, go!” Flo and Frank cheered as the horses ran as fast as they could. And in a minute, the race was over. Amy might not have won the race, but she certainly earned praise for her performance. She limited herself to say, “that is an authentic American gallop, gentlemen.” Everyone seemed pleased with their new American acquaintance, especially Fred. 

“My! How well you do it!” The other woman approached her after as they turned back. “I’m Anne Bailey.” The girls exchanged pleasantries and kept talking along the way. 

“Thank you. You are not bad yourself.”

“So, how do you like London?”

“Oh, it’s truly fantastic! I come from a small town in Massachusetts, so this is like nothing I’ve ever seen. Especially the art...it takes my breath away.” 

“You like art? Seeing it, only?”

“Ehm, no. I actually came here to figure if I had any future in it. I want to be a painter.”

“That’s risky.” Anne pointed out with a scent of excitement. “Have you taken any classes?”

“I did, back home. But I’m searching for more professional instruction. The problem is that we are not staying in one place only, so that makes it somewhat difficult. Right now I’m only going to museums and copying from the Masters.”

“Hmm,” Anne nodded, looking over Amy’s shoulder at Fred and the rest who were invested in another conversation. For a moment Amy regretted her words.  _ Was that too much?  _ She could go on and on talking about art all day, if she could find anyone interested in such a discussion. “Well, it’s not like we’re in the 1600s anymore. I know a few women who attend classes here in London and other parts of Europe. If you want I can ask them about it.” Amy thanked her thoroughly for the help. She came back to the hotel knowing she had made a valuable friendship. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was worth the wait.  
> Chapters will be longer than before because I have many scenes already written down and much more ideas. 
> 
> Also, I'll be posting a Modern AU inspired in Normal People! I hope you can check that out.


	2. Big decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for updating until now, but here you have a super long chapter!

**London, 1869**

Every day, Amy got up at sunrise, got ready, and walked to her art class. Anne proved to be a genuine friend. She put Amy in contact with Claire, another aspiring artist from London who was more than happy to assist her in getting a place at Dr. Zimmer's class. The middle-aged doctor accepted after seeing some sketches he requested as an admission exam. Amy selected her works carefully. As a medic, the focus of his class would be anatomy. Back in Concord, her art classes didn’t teach that subject to women because it was “immoral” for a woman to see naked bodies, especially men. However, Amy had studied the Masters enough to know that a proper knowledge of anatomy was essential for any good artist. So she resorted to copying old sketches from books and sculptures. Had she been in Boston, she would have had much more material, but in her hometown, she took advantage of Mr. Laurence's generosity and Aunt March’s collection. 

Dr. Zimmer wasn’t a forward thinker either. She believed women had the same ability to achieve artworks as good as any male artist. But he refused to have male models in his class and the female ones were always dressed properly. Each day they look at a different part of the human body with the help of plaster reproductions. This week: hands. It was a much more difficult subject that it seemed and it deserved an entire week. _Hands can speak as much as the face of a person_ he told the girls. Amy nodded and concentrated. As they drew, their professor walked around checking on their work, making corrections. _Start with the basic form, before a finger, it is three rectangles_. He told Amy standing behind her. She knew she was somewhat behind her classmates and she told herself it was just a matter of time before she leveled up. 

Whenever she had free time, Amy would go to a museum and refine her skills while enjoying her favorite artists. She even got a copyist pass at the National Gallery where she dedicated most of her works to J.W.M. Turner. She was especially fascinated by his use of color and the way he depicted movement left the girl captivated for hours. Although his images didn’t give her a chance to practice Dr. Zimmer’s lessons, she couldn't help it. She even got a few satisfied nods from the visitors and the museum’s personnel that made her feel like she was heading in the right direction. Afterward, her neck hurt, her hands were getting keys and her eyes felt weary. But regardless of the physical tiredness, her mind and soul were the happiest. She kept remembering her objective:

_"It isn't a mere pleasure trip to me, girls,"_ she had told her family. _"It will decide my career, for if I have any genius, I shall find it out in Rome, and will do something to prove it."_

Luckily for her, she had time to relax after a long day. Fred wasn’t interested in art, but he was interested in spending time with Amy. So, he accommodated his activities to fit Amy’s schedule. He would show up at her hotel and they both spent lovely evenings together. He even arranged a picnic for her at Richmond Park! He was truly an amazing friend and host. Sadly for both, the Carrols had to move to Paris. And so Amy went with them, not without a promise to meet each other again in Rome during winter. She was sad to leave her friends, but at the same time excited to see Paris. 

Besides, not everything had been perfect. One morning Amy was reading a magazine when a story felt too familiar. It took her a moment to identify the author but at last, she did it: it was Jo! That’s right _The lonely gondolier_ was one of Jo’s stories who got published in Concord. Turns out that her older sister had arrived in Europe sooner than her, although not physically. Amy recognized her sister’s stories. Even though they weren’t signed with her name, she recognized them because Jo showed them to her. She didn’t consider that to be a show of affection really, nor would she ever say that she was Jo’s confident. No, it was more a matter of objective criticism that Jo sought. She once said to Amy that she had no heart. 

_Why do you want me to read it? Show it to Beth, she always likes to read your stories. Amy said annoyed at her sister’s petition. “I have things to do.” She brushed her sister off and continued writing a letter._

_“I know Beth will like it. She’s too impartial. You’re not! You are as cold as ice and have no heart. You will give me constructive criticism.” Jo replied with excitement and pride. However, those words affected Amy more than Jo would imagine. “Besides these are stories with less metaphysical and philosophical characters. You were the only one who seemed to agree with Mr. Allen.” She grabbed the piece of paper harshly from her sister and read the story. She did as expected and criticized Jo’s work. “I knew you’d say the truth, thanks,” Jo said leaving Amy finally alone._

Everyone was positively surprised by Jo’s success. Amy was happy for her, too, truly. It was just the idea of Jo being successful in Europe, that conflicted with her. Europe was supposed to be hers, Jo had New York now. It seemed like Jo’s presence was always going to be haunting her. An ocean away and Jo still proved to be better than her. 

She knew it was wrong, after all, she was on a trip Jo wanted for herself and she got. But envy and frustration still invaded her thought to the point where she thought that those feelings were never going to disappear. And so, Amy tried to be happy for Jo. She found consolation taking inspiration from her sister’s writings. She would cut them out and make illustrations of them before going to bed. She would complete a full drawing notebook with them by the time she came back.

* * *

**Paris, 1869**

Nothing gets better than spending the spring in Paris. Upon arriving in the French capital, Amy was so excited that she couldn’t decide what to see first. How could she describe such beauty in her letter? Amy wrote to her family as regularly as possible. She tried to describe the amazing landscapes she saw during the train travels, the architecture of the cathedrals, and the art collections she appreciated. She told them about the Vaughns and her new friends. How she wished she was better at her words to share all the great things that were happening to her. She was never the diary type, but she supposed she could put her drawing skills into practice, a kind of visual diary! 

Her art instruction didn’t stop. The three months under Dr. Zimmer’s tutorial allowed her to get better at figure drawing. However, it wasn’t enough. Upon hearing of her leaving, Claire talked to her about several art studios that accepted female students. French ateliers didn’t do “admission tests”, if there was space, they let you in regardless of your level. They figure out whoever was not good enough would drop out or their work would simply never be exhibited. Amy went through the list her friend gave her and was surprised upon finding many of them full and with waiting lists. She had several conversations with her classmates in London about how more and more women were being allowed to study art. But it was now that she could notice it. Back at home, many of the girls considered art as a fun amusement. Something they can employ their time while they grow up and before they get married. Except for Amy, they all belonged to the upper class, so they had little to one intention of ever working. That didn’t mean that they competed with each other, of course.

She finally got a spot in Monsieur LeBlanc atelier and she was grateful that it cost less than Dr. Zimmer’s. Sure, Aunt March had let her use a part of her budget to take art classes, but she had to be careful with her expenditures still. She also got a copyist license for the Louvre. She missed Turner and all the other artworks in London. But the Louvre left her speechless. So she divided her time between classes, the Louvre and whatever Florence and her wanted to do. However, not much time passed before they had an English company again. During one of their walks in the park, Amy thought she was hallucinating when she saw a tall, blonde, and elegant man walking towards them.

“Fred!” Amy greeted him once she was sure who he was. 

“Amy, Florence.” Fred said nodding politely at the girls. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”

“Not at all.” Flo answered. Maybe Amy needed more time to realize what was happening, but her cousin could see it miles away. “What brings you here?” She asked, fully aware of the reason.

“My father needs me to go to Switzerland on some business. So, I thought I could pass by to see you.” He said, looking at Amy.

And that’s how Fred inserted himself into Amy’s life for the next months. At first Mr. Carrol seemed a little doubtful, but his wife was quick on convincing him of Fred’s honorable reputation. Amy seemed to be the only one who thought of Fred as nothing more than a friend. But time managed to change that. Time and a very special surprise.

* * *

**London, 1869**

However, not everyone shared the Carrols’ excitement. During dinner, Fred’s absence got attention from his family. “Where is Fred now?”

“He mentioned he was staying in Germany for a couple of weeks before returning,” Frank answered.

“Why?” Mr. Vaughn asked annoyed. 

“See some friends from Bonn.” Frank continued, hoping that would be enough for his father. But when he said it, Kate laughed and his father knew he was lying.

“Kate?” The old man turned to his elder daughter. “You know something?”

“Sorry,” She excused herself. “I think it’s more about one particular friend, and it is ‘she’.” She said as she saw Frank moving his head, trying to keep her quiet. “Her name is Amy March, we met her in America. Her family is friends with the Laurences” She continued to annoy her brother.

“Oh yes! I love Amy!” Grace said joyfully. “I only got to see her for a couple of days. She is great!” Frank nodded happily at his little sister, agreeing with her. However, their parents didn’t follow their excitement. Fred was the heir of the family’s business and most of its fortune, so they wanted to assure a good marriage for him. 

“Maybe it is just a crush.” Mrs. Vaughn said.

“I doubt it, he went to see her in Paris before that, and then promised to see her in Rome during winter,” Kate said casually as she continued to eat, earning a kick under the table by Frank.

“You say they are friends with the Laurences? How much do you think her family can offer?” Mrs. Vaughn asked her daughter, thinking that meant they were in the same economic class.

“Not one penny,” Kate responded, confusing her parents. “When we visited, her eldest sister was working as a governess. I doubt their situation has changed.” Her parents exchanged a worried look. And Mr. Vaughn’s anger increased. The rest of the dinner was silent and after the siblings went to bed, the parents stayed pondering the future.

* * *

**Coblenz, Germany, 1869**

“Amy, Amy!” Flo said as quietly as possible from the other bed. To her dismay, Amy only muttered something but didn’t give signs of waking up. “Amy!” Flo yelled louder and threw a pillow at her face. “Ouch!”

_“Beth, Beth.” Amy said excited but quiet. Her mother had sent them to sleep an hour ago. However, Amy had other plans. She loved parties and longed to be invited to one of them. So she decided to stay awake until her sisters came back, and Meg could tell her all the beautiful dresses she saw and demonstrate the new dances in fashion. She resolved to sketch while she was waiting, with a little lamp beside her and sitting in the window to see when they arrive. She was in the process of adding shades to her figure when she heard a carriage approaching. To her surprise, she saw her sisters coming out of it. But they were not alone, for a young boy was helping them get out of it. “Is that the Laurence boy?” Amy asked herself, before throwing a pillow at Beth to wake her up._

_“Amy, what’s the matter?” Beth said sleepily._

_“They’re back! The Laurence boy is with them,” Amy said looking at the window as Laurie and Jo helped walk Meg to the house. “It’s too early, isn’t it?” Beth said sitting at the side of her bed and putting a shawl over her shoulders. “I think Meg is hurt.” Amy replied. Beth stood up worried. “Come on!” Amy grabbed her sister’s hand and went to receive the three friends._

“What’s wrong with you!” Amy said, but quickly shut up as she heard romantic music and out-of-tune voices coming from outside. Flo gave her a sign to stay at the side of the window and only peck at the gentlemen who had brought her serenade. “Oh my God! I think that’s Fred.”

“Aww, that’s sweet of him,” Flo replied. 

“What do we do?” Amy was overwhelmed by the show. Flo looked around and grabbed a bouquet in a vase and gave half to Amy. Once the boys were done, the window opened enough for them to throw the flowers to their singers. The boys picked a few of them and left laughing and celebrating. The two girls giggled for it was the most romantic thing that anyone had ever done for any of them. Although Flo knew instantly that Fred’s purpose was to get to Amy. After a few minutes, the girls went back to bed. However, something inside Amy wouldn’t let her sleep. 

Suddenly, things became too complicated. For months she had appreciated Fred’s company. He was courteous, a gentleman by definition; but until tonight, she had thought of him as a long time friend. Yet, having received such a display of sentiment, Amy started to wonder if maybe Fred looked at her as more than friends. She went through all her memories of his visits. He always spoke to her, leaving Flo quite ignored; although she didn’t complain much as she enjoyed the spectacle. Whenever they went to dance, he would request her hand as many times as possible. The more she thought about it, the more she remembered times when she felt Fred looking at her, or talking to her sweetly, or finding a way to be alone with her or to compliment her. Always respectful, of course. She exhaled heavily at the realization. The subject wouldn’t let her for weeks.

She remembered what Kate told her once in Baden Baden after Amy told her how she scolded Fred for losing money. _“Oh, that’s not the worse he’s done. Once, he lost a thousand pounds on a card game!” Kate confessed. “I hope he marries soon, he needs to take responsibility for his life outside of work.”_ Was that a hint? 

Fred was perfect, really perfect. Oh he was charming, sweet, gentle, smart, and dedicated. She couldn't have asked for anything better, right? Amy paused for a moment. The only thing that would be better is if he would have been Laur...No, no, she needed to stop thinking about him. She was in Europe, for Christ sake. Why couldn’t she forget him once and for all! This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and she was not wasting it thinking about a boy. Although, he wasn’t just a boy, was he? No! She had to stop! Here she had an outstanding gentleman courting her, a man who would keep her in comfort for the rest of her days, and help her family better their situation. 

* * *

**London, 1869**

After the serenade, Fred was sure his intentions were understood. It had been so stupid. One moment he was having drinks with his friends and the topic of Amy had surfaced, and the next he was singing at the top of his lungs at her window! Surely, the girls would throw them a bucket of cold water. But then flowers fell and he knew he won something, and he hoped it was Amy’s heart. After that night, Amy seemed to blushed a little more whenever he complimented her and he looked at him more attentively. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much time with her after that. Frank had fallen ill and he needed to be with him. He knew she would understand since she also had experienced having an ill sibling. He asked her not to forgive him and receive no definitive answer. But there was no time, he needed to leave.

He arrived on a rainy night. As he was taking his coat off, his mother greeted him. “Your father wants to see you.” She told him. Fred nodded as he walked to his father’s studio. Mr. Vaughn was a scary man. He came from a line of rich entrepreneurs and some of his political family was part of the nobility. That gave him airs of entitlement that were frankly unbearable to some. Taking a deep breath, he knocked at the door before stepping in.

“You wanted to see me?” Fred said remaining up.

“How was your trip?” The older man said, preparing himself a drink and walking back to sit on his desk. As the oldest of the family, Fred knew the responsibility of the family business would fall upon his shoulders. He ought to do a good match. Amy seemed to be a formidable option, though he had spent just a few months with her, he was surprised by how elegant and sophisticated Amy became, far from the little 12-year-old child he met at Camp Laurence. 

“It was good.” He said, hoping that it would be enough of an answer to his father. “It’s a good time to travel.”

“Mhm...I hear you went to see more than just the city.”

“I was able to meet some friends from Bonn...”

“The girl, who is she?” Mr. Vaughn was not a patient man, he hated rodeos. Yes, he already knew about her, but he preferred to hear it from his son.

“Amy March, I met her and her sisters when we went to visit Laurie.” Fred said immediately, with a slightly frightened tone. “She’s 20 years old now.”

“American, then.”

“Yes,” Fred confirmed, signing. He knew how much his father dreaded Americans. 

“Is she why you went to Paris before reaching Switzerland?” Fred nodded at his father's interrogation. “Kate says they are quite poor.” _Damn it, Kate,_ Fred though as he remembered her sister speaking about Meg’s job. He didn’t like it either, but he didn’t spend the carriage ride talking about it and patronizing them. 

“Her family lost everything in the war. Her father fought for the Union...they’re a very respected family in the community still. And her Aunts maintain their wealth. She’s here as her cousin’s companion.”

“A companion!”

“She’s well-bred. She speaks French, rides a horse better than most English women, she is kind and smart...”

“She comes with nothing.” It was more of an affirmation than a question.

“Are we bankrupt or something?”

“Don’t play games with me, Fred. You’re supposed to make a good match!” Mr. Vaughn raised his voice. He then tried to calm himself and asked, “Does she have any occupation?” He asked, silently begging not to hear ‘governess’.

“She’s a painter. She’s taking classes and she’s very good...I don’t think she’ll continue with it after marriage” He only watched his father moving his head in a disapproving way. “You haven’t even met her.”

“You have a duty to this family, Fred. You’re the oldest, you’re going to inherit this business. You need a good wife...” He said, raising his voice again. But when he saw his son’s eyes, he tried to soften his speech. He remembered what his wife told him about the consequences of forbidding something to a young man, especially a woman. “If you want to spend time with this girl, go ahead, I can’t lock you in this house, you’re not a child anymore. But don’t make any sudden moves. Frank needs you now. Use this time to be reasonable. You can be quite impulsive sometimes.”

“I’ll be careful.”

“Alright, you can leave. Go see your brother.” Mr. Vaughn said, letting his son free. He was going to see Frank, but first, he needed to find Kate. 

“Kate!” He said going up the stairs when he saw her passing through. “Why would you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Why would you tell Father about Amy?”

“Look, he asked about your eagerness to travel. You’re usually quite content staying in England. You promised to meet Amy in Rome next winter, and then you go to see her in Paris!” She excused her actions. 

“And he had to know how poor her family is?!”

“I told him the truth! He was going to learn it sooner or later.”

“You could have given me time. He already hates her”

“Of course he hates her, she’s American! Imagine what Granny will say.” She said in a joking tone. 

“Look, I don’t even know if she wants me to court her.”

“Please, little brother. Remember the day at Camp Laurence, she even told you she was going to come and find you, did she not?” Fred blushed a little at Kate’s argument. “If it’s any consolation, Grace is delighted about it, and Frank says she is one of the prettiest girls he'd ever seen.”

“Just...leave me alone. Don’t interfere with this, I’m begging you. Don’t you have a husband to attend to?”

“He’s on business.” Kate said as if she were offended by her brother’s request. She began making her way to her room at the other extreme of the floor. 

“Does mom know?”

“Yes. You know mom, she wouldn’t mind meeting her. Although I would avoid the topic with Granny if I were you.” Fred nodded and rolled her eyes at the last part. He then turned, walking down the stairs again to the drawing-room where he knew he could find his mother. 

“Fred!” He heard Kate called him from the balustrade and turned. “A serenade, really?”

“Shut up! How do you even know about that?!”

“Oh, My God!” Kate said, her laugh, singing some love song, sounding more remote as she walked through the corridor. 

* * *

Amy knew she had to stop thinking about him. She had already wasted too many years. If she knew she might have a chance with him, she might try. Unfortunately, he was too in love with Jo to pay anyone else attention. She knew as well as her family and his grandfather that Laurie was going to propose, soon. She didn’t even want to say his name, but then a letter arrived a couple of weeks ago, and she began to think about him again. He graduated from college in July and he was ready to start a life. How proud was she of knowing he graduated with honors! Jo would be an idiot if she said no. But then again, her sister was a rebel. She noticed that while he loved her, Jo only saw him as a friend. Whatever was the case, even if Jo said no, he would never consider her. It pained her as nothing else could, but it was the truth. She had known that for a while, years, really. What started as a small crush developed into something much more as the years passed. At first, it seemed as if she couldn’t breathe; but as time went on, she learned to accept it. Alone, she didn’t want anyone to have pity on her or even made fun of her, especially Jo. As long as he was happy --it sounded pathetic, she thought -- but she wanted him to have a happy life. Even if that life didn’t include her.

Sometimes Amy wished she was more like Jo, she could build castles in the air, she could have crazy dreams. Unfortunately, Amy was not a writer, she was a painter. She portrayed what she saw, not what her imagination created. It was funny how their arts reflected their personality. But now that was not the time to daydream. 

Her head on the pillow, Amy got the firm conviction of accepting Fred’s proposal if he ever did such a thing. Which, judging by his past behavior she could be almost sure he would. Fred was a good man, he’ll be a good husband. Fred didn’t know her sisters that much to make comparisons, which made her feel better. Before going to sleep, she thought back at the couple she saw at Rotten Row and wondered if that could be herself and Fred one day. If he made clear his intentions, she would give her heart a chance to feel something for him, but not one moment before that. She wasn’t going through a heartbreak ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love A Foreign Correspondent. It's such a shame than in one chapter we get so much information and it's never been adapted. Anyway, after reading that chapter, I really liked Fred. I think he was genuinely in love with Amy and would have done his best to make her happy.  
> Also, May Alcott was actually a professional copyist of Turner!  
> In the book, during Camp Laurence, Amy doesn't tell Fred to wait for her, that was just Greta. But it's such a good moment that I had to include it.  
> I promise Laurie will appear next chapter!  
> Thanks and I look forward to reading your comments.


	3. Re meettings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laurie's here!  
> Also, I made a beautiful discovery about May Alcott's drawings in her room!

**Berne, Switzerland, 1869**

After Fred’s departure life became quieter. Until Frank was well, he wasn’t coming back, so there was no point in worrying for something she couldn’t control. Thinking of Frank caused her to think about Beth. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something might go wrong with her. What if she gets sick and she comes back too late? But Beth’s illness was another thing she couldn’t control. And her family kept saying she should stay there. So she resigned herself to pray for her sister every day. God had to listen to her. If it is for Beth, He'll listen, He had to. 

Autumn arrived and the family moved. At last one of Marmee’s letters arrived. Amy opened it with much excitement. With little money to spare on stamps and Amy’s constant movement in Germany, mail was hard to get until they settled in Switzerland for a month. She skimmed and got frustrated upon finishing it. 

“What is it?” Flo asked. 

“Nothing. Mother writes about Demi and Daisy. She doesn’t say anything about Beth, though.” She continued thoughtfully, looking at the pages. She didn’t know how much her mother and Beth debated about telling Amy about her turn to the worse. Beth had begged both Meg and Marmee not to ruin the trip for her. They promised but if things got worse, they would definitely call her.

“I’m sure she’s fine. They would tell you if anything happens.” Flo tried to reassure her cousin.

“I hope so,” Amy said. She then made an offended/annoyed exclamation when she read the P.S. “My mother...she spent so many hours telling us how to behave, and now that I ask for her advice she gives me this!” She said, handing her the letter to Flo.

“ _ Follow your heart, dear. I know you’ll make the right decision _ .” Flo read. “What is this?”

“I asked her about Fred and whether it was a good idea to accept him if he proposes. I was expecting more than just this.”

“I thought you said you didn’t care what your family thought of it.”

“I don’t. I mean, I wouldn’t say ‘no’ just because they didn’t like him, but it would be nice to know that they do.”

“So what does your heart tell you?” Flo asked. 

* * *

**Rome, 1869**

Amy didn’t ignore Flo’s question, she just didn’t want to think about it. As she told her mother,  _ one of us must marry well _ . She didn’t have time to wait for true love, when she already knew she was never going to get it. Anyway, winter finally came and it was a shame that Fred wasn’t going to be there, since Frank was still delicate. But that gave her time to enjoy the city as much as she could, even if that implied dragging Flo around churches, galleries, and old buildings. They went a few times to the Vatican and Amy could swear she felt palpitations after witnessing the Sistine Chapel. Now she found herself walking around the Palazzo Pallavicini-Rospigliosi. And when she finally arrived at the Casino dell’Aurora, she took her time to enjoy the marvelous artworks that took her back home.

__

_ “Amy, Marmee says you need to do your homework,” Jo said as she went up the stairs to her younger sisters’ room. “Amy!” She screamed as she discovered eight-years-old Amy drawing something on the furniture next to the window. Amy quickly stopped and looked at her sister fearfully as the elder called her mother. “Marmee, Amy is drawing on the walls!” _

_ “What, Jo?” Marmee said, rushing up to the room. “Look!” Jo pointed at Amy’s drawing.  _

_ “I’m sorry.” She said in the quietest voice. “I just wanted to make it more beautiful.” The little girl looked down and stepped aside, holding her pencil tightly. Marmee took a closer look at the piece of furniture. “Oh, Amy. What is it?” Her mother curiously asked as she squatted to be at Amy’s height. _

_ “It’s Aurora,” Amy began explaining. “See? She’s guiding Apollo’s carnage.” “Carriage, goose!” Jo corrected her sister. “She’s the goddess of Aube!” She continued pointing at the figures. “I copied it from this book.” She said bringing the book forward. Indeed, it was a faithful copy of the fresco. Even Jo got nearer to see it and although she expected her mother to be mad, she had to admit it was a good reproduction. “It says here that it is a fresco, made by Gui..Guido Reno...Reni and it is in Rome!” _

_ She listened to her daughter talking with such enthusiasm about her creation. “Alright, you can leave it. I’ll let you draw in the walls, but only on your side of the bedroom. Okay?” The little girl nodded gratefully and hugged her mother. Marmee kissed Amy’s head and stood up. “Jo, share your paper with your sister.” _

_ “Oh, but Marmee, I need it.” Jo protested. _

_ “You don’t need it all at once. Give Amy half of it and next month I’ll buy more for both of you.” Were Marmee’s final words before she went back to the kitchen. Jo stayed looking at Amy as the little girl put the book back on the nightstand. She then opened the drawer and pulled her math notebook, opening on the last pages and showing it to Jo. “Look!” she said proudly. Jo looked at the paper and saw a beautiful image of an owl on it. The shades were a little off but it was good. Jo loved owls. She looked at the picture and then at Amy’s expectant eyes back and forth. Suddenly her frustration disappeared. “You’re a little crafty shrewd, aren’t you?” Jo asked rhetorically. Amy didn’t know what that meant but figured it wasn’t something so bad, because her sister looked less angry than before. “So this is why you’re so bad at math, eh? Alright, come on. You can have some of my paper.” Jo said, taking Amy’s hand and taking her to the attic. “You think you can do another one of these for me?”  _

__

How long ago was that! She couldn’t believe she was looking at the real things now. She was proud of how far she’d come, and yet, every time she looked at those masterpieces something felt off. It actually began in Paris. Even before arriving, her friends in England had talked to her about these Parisian rebels who defy the Academie des Beaux-Arts. Apparently they have been trying to get accepted to the Salon, and every time, the jury rejected most of them. Nonetheless, they seemed to be getting popularity among young enthusiasts. 

Painting outdoors was not an unusual thing in French art schools. The landscape was part of the curriculum, but Amy noticed that more and more her art teacher wanted to be outside. Most of her class was eager to go out, so often they would talk about feeling locked up in a room. They wanted to see the people and paint the daily life of Parisian society. One time, they were painting a group of friends enjoying a lovely day in the gardens. Amy began sketching the scene, taking care of the details so as to appear as realistic as possible. While she was working on her canvas, she would perceive her classmate. His hand moved faster than hers as if he was attacking that canvas. Nonetheless, Amy kept working on her own painting. She could feel the teacher standing behind her, judging her work. He didn’t say anything to her, but her other classmates did receive reviews. How they caught the light, the movement in the scene, the happiness. She finally turned to see the results of her fellow student. His painting looked nothing like hers. She had done a perfect rendition of the scene. She caught the shadows, the volume, the proportions. But he...he couldn’t care less about technique! His strokes were harsh and bold, the colors he chose were bright. You could see the plasters of paint on the canvas. Amy kept going back and forth. She looked at her painting, then at his. He received praise, while she only got silence. Was she doing it wrong? No, it couldn’t be. She had studied so hard the theory. She had finished countless drawing notebooks with sketches of every part of the body, drapes, still lifes, horses. But it wasn’t enough, apparently. It seemed like she arrived late, too late to belong to the next generation of artists, of genius. 

An excruciating pain moved her. What was she supposed to do now? Amy tried to maintain appearances, she smiled when she was required to, and make joyful conversation whenever with guests and friends. Yet it was clear to some people that her mood was down. If people asked, she could always say she was homesick. That didn’t mean that her family was missing from her thoughts. In fact, she found herself wanting to be close to them more and more on those days. At the same time, she didn’t want to tell them about the devastating news. She did say that Europe was going to be a decisive moment for her, and claimed to Jo that if she had no real talent, she would be a teacher then. Still, accepting it and actually confessing it to her family proved to be harder than she thought. So she filled her letters with details about her trips, a couple of mentions about Fred, and nothing more. Thankfully, with the holidays coming, other matters occupied her mind. The family decided to stay in the Mediterranean but went back to France. 

* * *

**Nice, 1869**

Nice was much more peaceful than Paris and warmer. She could imagine how freezing it was in Concord at this time. For that reason, it was a popular place for Europeans from colder places. It had its advantages and disadvantages. High society is a very small circle of people, even in all of Europe. That’s why it wasn’t surprising for Amy to hear rumors about Laurie’s behavior. She knew that his times in college had not been innocent at all, but she expected that after graduating Laurie would begin to take things seriously. It’s not that she was jealous, no, it wasn’t that. Laurie was just a friend, he didn’t own anything to her, so there's no reason to be jealous. Still, it hurt. It hurt to hear about him spending time with other girls. It was weird since she didn’t feel this way when he was with Jo. Probably because she knew Jo didn’t think of Laurie in that way. Plus, she was sure he was doing more than just flirting. She couldn’t blame the girls. Laurie was handsome and she could only imagine how good he looked now. She hadn't seen him in a year! She kept thinking about this as she sewed some ribbon into Flo’s evening dress. Fashion was changing quickly. And Amy had spent the last days trying to adjust the long skirt into the latest bustle silhouette. Amy received a limited amount of money from Aunt March and she was responsible for managing it. Her lessons took part of her expenditure. So she had to make sacrifices. Flo’s dress was in good shape and she was used to taking her old clothes. Though this time, she was grateful that it was just one color. She suffered so much from Aunt Carol’s taste growing up. Her thoughts on Laurie must have been reflected on her sewing, cause Flo had been looking at her for a while before asking if she was ok.

“Ha?” Amy said looking at her. 

“I asked if you’re ok,” Flo repeated.

“Of course, I’ll be done soon.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been attacking that thread against the dress for half an hour. What is the matter?” Flo insisted.

“Nothing, I just...have you heard about Laurie lately?”

“There are not the most pleasant things...what? Does it bother you?” Flo started to tease her. 

“Of course not!” Flo might have believed it if Amy wouldn’t have pulled the thread so much that she broke it. Her cousin watched as she cursed herself for she had to start all over again. She could have pushed Amy a little more, but she preferred to stop. 

“It looks good.” Flo changed the subject to the dress, and Amy was thankful for it. The girls kept talking about their upcoming party. 

The day of the party arrived and Amy found herself wandering around Paris alone. Laurie had promised that he’ll be spending the holidays with her, but he hadn’t arrived. Flo wanted to rest until the ball at the hotel. And even though Amy loved parties, she was a very anxious person so she needed to be doing something always. She went on a carriage ride when she heard someone calling her name. “Laurie!” She called him back as he saw the boy approaching her excitedly. The girl stepped down from the carriage and met the boy, caring little for the couple of French women who watched them scandalized. “I thought you’d never come!” After more joyful exchanges, Laurie accompanied her to Castle Hill and continued their conversation. Laurie was agreeable as always, and yet Amy couldn’t shake up the feeling that something was off. He complimented her as always, but it didn’t have the same effect as before. And yet, he looked so handsome, even if the smile didn’t reach his eyes. On Laurie’s side, there was much satisfaction and admiration, for Amy had definitely grown into a most elegant woman. So much that he thought that the place of the most beautiful girl had passed to the youngest March sister (sorry, Meg). 

“I’ve been here and there. I went to Berlin, Paris, Prague, Greece.”

“Oh really! I would have loved to go to Greece myself, but at least I got a chance to see the new acquisitions from the British Museum. Tell me, did you see the Parthenon?”

“No,” Laurie said plainly. “I only stayed there for a few days.” Amy nodded, disappointed at his answer. Something was definitely wrong with him. After an hour, they turned back to Amy’s hotel. 

“Oh, Laurie. It is good to see you. Amy was very happy to have you here with us.” She said, making Amy blush. “Are you attending the party tonight?”

“Amy just told me about it. I’d be delighted in escorting you.” He said referring to Amy. 

“That’d be wonderful!” Her aunt replied. After a few more pleasantries exchanged, Laurie left and Amy went to find Flo.

“What took you so long?” Flo asked as Amy entered the room.

“Laurie is here. We went to Castle Hill.” 

“Ah, I see.” her cousin replied with a knowing look. 

“Come on, it's Laurie!” Amy exclaimed, knowing that Flo and Laurie weren't the best friends. She said it like it was self-explanatory. And for the most part, it was. Ever since they were in Concord, Flo saw how Amy’s eyes got illuminated every time Laurie was in the room. But Amy never said anything and Flo understood why her cousin had kept it a secret. And when Fred appeared in Paris, she hoped he would help her to forget about that old crush. However, now that she saw how excited Amy was about going with him at the Christmas party, she knew nothing had changed. So Flo just exhaled and rolled her eyes as she continued to get dressed. 

An hour and a half later, both girls were ready. Mrs. Carrol took Florence first, while Amy stayed waiting for Laurie to arrive. Amy heard the clock sound. She looked at herself in the mirror one last time, checking every detail of her dress. ‘It looks fine’ she thought, turning back to see the bustle shape she so hard tried to achieve. Once she was done, she went as calmly as possible to the lobby to wait for Laurie. 

As she waited, a tall, young, handsome man entered the hotel. And just as his sight went straight to the girl in a blue dress in the Park, now he looked at that same lady in a white dress admiring the view from one window. And she looked beautiful, so much that he began to think that the flowers he had brought weren’t enough to match her. How proudly did they walk into the room, turning more than a few heads towards them! Ever since Concord, people liked seeing them dancing, for they did it so well and naturally, and they enjoyed it so much. However, that pride and excitement didn’t last long, when Laurie’s previous attitude came back. He was kind enough to dance the first waltz with her but projected no intention of continuing with the next pieces. The disappointment was big, but it wasn’t enough to ruin the ball for Amy. Instead, she decided to pay attention to the rest of the guests, especially the gentleman anxious to get a dance with the charming lady and give her a taste of his own indifference. 

“May I have the next dance?” Count Vladimir approached them. Laurie nodded stepping back as Amy took the man’s hand and walked with him with the rest of the couples. A polka started! Deep in his mind, Laurie knew he had done wrong but something inside of him kept him from enjoying the party. He turned and noticed Flo and her mother sitting on a table. “Oh, Laurie!” Greeted Mrs. Carrol. He then went to ask for Flo’s hand as it was the courteous thing to do. “I thought you’d dance more with Amy.” Said Flo as they moved with the music. “There are other gentlemen waiting for her,” Laurie replied causing Flo to frown and bit her tongue. After that Flo abandoned him too. And Laurie sat as he watched the rest of the guests. Somehow he felt like he didn’t belong there. Everyone looked so happy. They laugh, dance, talk, and watch with such merriment, Laurie felt sick. Why couldn’t he enjoy himself as much as they were? He had come with a charming lady by his arm, and now he was sitting with Mrs. Carrol, watching her dancing with other men! Even Mrs. Carrol looked like she was having more fun than him. That wasn’t right. Fortunately, the Count left the party early letting Amy rest for a while. She went to her aunt’s table. Before she reached them, Laurie was already on his feet offering her his seat, a movement that didn’t go unnoticed by the chaperone. Laurie then went to bring Amy some food. 

“You’re going to need new shoes if you keep dancing like that tonight, girl.” Her aunt joked and Amy responded with a light smile. She then looked up to Laurie who stood next to her with a plate on one hand and a cup of coffee on the other. “Thank you.” She said taking the plate, looking at her aunt, who threw her a satisfied look. And she herself was satisfied, for she had given the boy a real lesson of manners and behavior and she was looking at the results of it. Sitting next to her, Laurie had energy for lively conversation now. Seeming as the boy had had enough punishment for one night, she answered back all of his questions, which sounded more like praises.

“Foreign life polishes one in spite of one’s self. I study as well as play, and as for this’—with a little gesture toward her dress—‘why, tulle is cheap, posies to be had for nothing, and I am used to making the most of my poor little things.” She told him and immediately regretted it. But Laurie liked her all the more for it. Indeed, Amy was on the course of becoming a true gentlewoman and it pleased Laurie more than he expected, finding himself looking at her with newfound admiration and respect. He put away his problems and decided to take pleasure in tonight's event. So he set himself to monopolize her attention the rest of the night. And Amy would be lying if she said she didn’t feel like in a dream. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback is totally inspired in May's actual drawings in her room. Since I saw the photo, I knew I had seen those figures somewhere else. And I was right. May did copy Guido Reni's Aurora and drew it in her room!!!! I'm so proud because I haven't seen in anyone mentioned it before. I knew all those hours studying Art History would be useful one day, ahaha  
> If you don't believe me take a look at this links:   
> https://www.pinterest.com.mx/pin/418553359111547206/ (May's room)  
> https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0b/Guido_Reni_-_L%27Aurora_di_Guido_Reni_nelle_arti_decorative.jpg (Reni's painting)  
> I mean she was so freaking amazing!!! Guido Reni is one of my favorite painters.


	4. Scholdings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this super long chapter!

**Nice 1870**

Laurie should have gone days ago. Yet, when the date arrived, he renewed his booking at the Chauvin indefinitely. _Spending winter in Nice is better than in cold old Paris_ , he wrote to his grandfather. And indeed the weather was good. However, deep down he knew that he was staying because, for the first time in six months, he felt as if he was in the right place. The Carrols had welcomed him warmly, allowing him to spend time with Amy almost every day, much to Florence’s annoyance. It wasn’t that they hated each other, but Flo definitely didn't share the high opinion the March family had on him. They enjoyed teasing and making fun of each other, often throwing sarcastic comments at each other.

Normally, Laurie would arrive at noon and take Amy out, or simply stay at the hotel for a few hours. The day before, they agreed on riding. So here he was appearing on horseback, taking a moment to see Amy from afar. She looked truly beautiful, more than that she looked incredible, almost regal. He tried to imagine how Jo would look standing as Amy was doing it now. She would look good, he knew that. Although she would have to bear the corset and hat. Yet, he couldn’t fight against the idea that there was something in Amy that differentiate her from her sisters, and most women, if he was being honest. And that was the ability to wear the dress and not let it possess her. She was perfectly set on the horse, taking the reins properly. Her profile was determined as she looked at the vast meadow they had in front of them. Her long blonde hair was intricate in a complex braid-style she favored now. And the hat was small but elegant, with a ribbon falling behind. She was wearing an all off-white dress.

“You’re ready?” Laurie asked, approaching him. She turned to see him and responded affirmatively. She hadn’t had much opportunity to ride after London. So she was delighted when Laurie suggested it, he would take care of the horses. And what horses had he gotten! Two gorgeous stallions. At first Mr. Carrol showed concern in letting Amy ride around the city, but his wife reaffirmed him that she was more than capable of handling herself. Besides, that would allow her and Florence to call at some friends. Regardless, she asked her to be careful, _no races, Amy,_ she made her and Laurie promise. 

“Where do you want to go?” Laurie asked. 

“The beach?” Amy suggested and he loved the idea.

“So how do you like Europe so far?” Laurie asked as they admire the seascape.

“It’s incredible. I heard about it, but being here...it’s like a dream come true. Seeing all the masterpieces I grew up studying in books, the ruins, the landscapes...they exist!”

“And you’ve been taking classes, too?”

Amy remained silent enough seconds for Laurie to understand something was wrong there. “Yes, but because we move constantly I haven’t been able to do much in one atelier.” She said in a low voice trying to sound fine. 

“I’m sure everyone finds your works lovely.” He said kindly, earning a snort from Amy.

“I hate that.” Amy said, and Laurie threw her a confused look. “That word, ‘lovely’ to describe art, like it was something adorable about it. There’s nothing lovely in it. It's hard work, look!” She released her right hand from the reins to show it to Laurie. “I have keys in my hands, my neck and eyes hurt after hours of painting and sketching. Two months ago I almost lost a part of my finger while sharpening a pencil.” He could see a small scar on the side of her index finger.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just hear that word more and more when I tell people I want to be an artist. Aunt March always used it when I talked about art. And I know she is not paying this trip to let me study, but still...it’s frustrating at times.” Laurie listened attentively at her, sympathizing with her. He understood her completely. During his years in boarding schools, he claimed that he’d become a famous composer, earning laughs from his mates. Yet, he held his castle in the air tightly, until the day Meg made him realize that his grandfather was all the blood-family he had left. Sensing the discomfort that caused Amy to talk about her art, he dropped the subject for most of his stay in Nice. 

* * *

But not all days were spent outdoors. Sometimes, they enjoyed just being at the drawing-room with Flo as company. One of those days, Amy began talking about going back to the beach, the three of them, and maybe some other friends. The idea sounded appealing, although Flo found it strange for Amy to make such a suggestion.

“So you’re not afraid of the water anymore?” She asked.

“I never said I was afraid of water...”

“Please, you went pale when I wanted to go ice skating in London! You said it could break and you’ll drown.”

“Are you still scared to go to the ice?” Laurie got into the conversation.

“I’m not scared!” She quickly replied. “I have a trauma, which is quite different.” Laurie let a small laugh at Amy’s clarification. “And not with water in general, just with the frozen one, that feels like a thousand needles all over your body and doesn’t let you breathe or move.”

“Nothing was going to happen, it was the middle of January, the ice was thick,” Flo said.

“Besides, there must have been branches around there that people could have used to pull you up...” He said playfully. Amy was shocked. How could he play with something like that? Still, it managed to make her smile momentarily.

“I haven’t been in the ice since that day,” Amy spoke after a few moments, clearly talking to Laurie.

“I heard the ice cracked,” Laurie replied. “Jo knew immediately it was you!”

“Yeah, well, she must have heard me screaming at her, you were too far ahead to listen.”

“What happened that day?”

“Didn’t Jo tell you?”

“Sure, I have her version. What about yours?”

“She was angry.”

“Because of the book?” Amy nodded. “Why did you do it? I mean it was a good play, but...”

“It wasn’t about the play,” Amy answered looking at her needlework. “It was and it wasn’t. I did want to go, Jo and Meg were always going out and having fun, and I had to stay at home.” She began explaining. “Jo makes me angry like no one else.”

“I bet Jo would say the same about you.” He made a quick interruption.

“I’m sure,” Amy confirmed. “The way she said no...it hurt. My blood was boiling! I knew there was just one thing that she cared for and I destroyed it.” Amy’s tone was serious, even regretful. “Marmee forced me to apologize, but I wasn’t sorry...” And she really wasn’t. “And I got what I deserved.” Laurie threw a confused look. “I really believe what happened in the ice was my punishment”

“You can’t really believe that!” Laurie responded. 

“I do! And there’s nothing you can say to convince me otherwise! I bought it on myself. It took me a while, but I understood how far I took things. It was just a stupid play.” Honestly, he didn’t know what to say next. More than once he listened to Jo rambling about how much Amy drove her crazy. She was heartbroken when Aunt Carol chose her to come to Europe. Fortunately, Flo interrupted, turning the conversation to a lighter mood.

* * *

Three weeks into 1870, Laurie was still in Nice. By now, it felt like a routine to spend time with Amy almost every day. 

“What are you talking about?” Amy said, taking off her hat, as they entered the hotel after an afternoon of horse riding. 

“My statue of a horse, I hope you keep it.” Laurie said walking beside her. 

“It isn’t yours...”

“Not now, but it’s my inheritance.”

“Ha, from all the things you will inherit, that’s what you care for?! I would love to see your grandfather’s face when you bring home that ‘sculpture’, next so many fine real pieces of art.”

“Yeah, it may be a shock. But you won’t have to worry, cause you’ll be dead.”

“I’ll rise from the grave for that,” Amy replied and they both laughed while they got their hats and gloves out. 

“Oh, you’re here!” the maid greeted them. “You took your time today.”

“Are Florence and Aunt Carol back?” Amy asked.

“They just came in. Mrs. Carrol invites you to dinner, Mr. Laurence.”

“Thank you. I’ll just go and change.” He answered and they both left to change. Riding was one of Amy’s favorite things to do, but it did leave you sticky with sweat. 

As she entered the drawing-room, she could feel her cousin’s eyes following her. “You’re spending too much time with him.” Flo pointed out. 

“He’s Laurie.”

“Okay, honey. I know that is supposed to be self-explanatory. And for the most part, I get it. But, no one else does.” Flo said. “You’ve heard the rumors about him. My parents heard them too. I’m just worried that if people see you spending time with him, they are going to start talking, and not in a good way. It might reach Fred.”

“I’m not going to stop seeing Laurie. He’s the only thing I have from Orchard. Besides he’s not going to be here for long!”

“You said it was only going to be a few days, it’s been a month already.”

“I know, but every time I ask him when he’s leaving, he’s vague,” Amy replied. Flo’s observation hadn’t been a surprise. She knew what people had commented on Laurie, she herself was disappointed in him. But she also felt a sense of familiarity with him, that she didn’t have with the Carrols. Laurie lived only a few steps from Orchard, he was there all the time. He was family!

“Are you sure you’re good staying here?” Florence took her out of her thoughts. 

“Yes, you go spend time with your parents. I’ll be fine.”

* * *

The next morning, the Carrols took the train to Monaco, leaving Amy all by herself. She and Laurie didn't agree on anything the previous day, so she made plans on her own. Upon arriving in Nice, a friend of Flo gave them a tour around the city and they passed through a gorgeous castle where roses grew all around. It was like nothing she had seen before and Amy fell in love with it immediately. She never saw roses in winter, but here the weather allowed them to grow. She had gone a couple of times already, yet she couldn’t resist going one more time. And since she was alone, she could spend as much time as she wanted there. First, she caught up with some correspondence she had pending. She wrote home, of course, but she also had friendships in Concord and elsewhere with which she communicated often. She was still in contact with Anne and Claire from London. Plus, during her stay in Rome, she had met Frederic Crowninshield, who was excited to help a fellow compatriot in her pursuit of art. She sent her sketches and he sent back critiques. So Amy continued with her artistic education, at least in this format. She didn’t even search for ateliers in Nice, because by then, her decision was made. Regardless, she still couldn’t put the pencil down for good. Something inside her asked her to keep sketching. Therefore, with her drawing materials, she went down to the lobby and left the letter at the reception to be sent.

“Hi,” she heard Laurie called. She thanked the employee and turned to greet him. 

“Hi,” Amy said, and Laurie walked toward her. “I’m sorry, I thought we weren’t seeing each other today.”

“It’s no problem. I thought about passing by for a while.” He said as he noticed Amy’s things. “Are you going somewhere? I’m sorry, I should have sent a message first.”

“Oh no, Flo and her parents had gone to Monaco. I stayed, I thought I could use the time to write letters. I’m actually going to Valrosa, do you want to come?” Laurie didn’t sound particularly excited by the trip, but since he had nothing better to do, he went along with Amy’s plan. Amy went back to the reception and requested a carriage.

“Hey, handsome,” Amy said at the entrance of the hotel, greeting the chestnut horse that was taking them.

“Miss March,” she heard a young boy say. 

“Ready, Baptiste?” The boy nodded affirmatively. Laurie quickly helped her get in their transport. The journey was silent, with Laurie focused on driving correctly, much to Baptiste dismiss, while Amy admired the landscape. Flo’s words kept coming at her. She knew her cousin just wanted to help. True she had never been as smitten with the Laurence boy as Amy or the rest of her family, but that didn’t mean she was ill-spirited. On the contrary, the more she thought about it, the more Amy knew she was right.

“Try lower down, and pick those that have no thorns,” she told him when he complained about the roses. But she knew it had a deeper meaning. She tried to cheer him up by placing a pale rose on his buttonhole, as she saw the couple do it in Rotten Row. Of course, they were not a couple, just two friends trying to enjoy a beautiful day. She knew that, she knew it better than anyone. Unfortunately, Amy’s gesture only lowered his spirits even more because it reminded him of Jo. After walking around the house, Amy finally found an appropriate spot. She took a seat and took out her materials. Meanwhile, Laurie laid on the grass carelessly. His indifferent attitude came back and she was not having it any longer. 

“Laurie, when are you going back to your grandfather.” _Not again, please,_ Laurie thought. Why did she want to send him away? As far as he could tell, she enjoyed his presence. He answered as he always did, “very soon”. But unlike the last dozen of times, Amy was not satisfied that day. He tried to remain calm, he really did, posing for her as she did a quick sketch of him as a ‘dolce far niente’ as he called it. But then Amy mentioned Jo and… things started to get a little out of hand, on both parts. Did she know what happened in Concord? Had the news of his pathetic proposal reached her already? After weeks of not mentioning her art, he decided to turn the conversation to alleviate the pressure from him and put it on Amy. 

“When do you begin your great work of art, Raphaella?”

“Never,” she answered firmly, though Laurie could sense a melancholic tone. She couldn’t even look at him in the eye while saying that. “Rome took all the vanity out of me, for after seeing the wonders there, I felt too insignificant to live and gave up all my foolish hopes in despair.” Now that was offsetting. Did he hear correctly? Was Amy March renouncing her castle in the air? If there was one thing that Amy loved was her art, more than the parties and social life, her art was everything to her. And yes, maybe she was not the next Da Vinci, but she was definitely talented. In the span of seven years, he had witnessed her progress. 

“Talent isn’t genius,” she claimed. “and no amount of energy can make it so. I want to be great, or nothing. I won’t be a common-place dauber, so I don’t intend to try anymore.” Laurie tried to make sense of her words, she wanted to be an ornament to society, now? He always knew she would be a presence in society, but he expected more, much more from her. And yet, he found himself admiring the side of Amy that didn’t let her crumble down and wished to know her secret. 

“I heard rumors about Fred and you last year,” Laurie confessed. She knew people were aware of her relationship with one of the wealthiest heirs in London and Europe. Many of the things that were said, good and bad, reached her. Most people had no idea who she was, only that she was here as a companion to her cousin. A few Bostonians recognized the last name and their story. And just as news about Laurie’s behavior reached everywhere, so did her precarious economic situation. Some people had accused her of gold-digging, while others admired her parents' ideals, though not so much their actions. Yes, slavery was cruel, but teach black kids alongside white ones was too much for them. Amy only hoped that the Vaughns would accept her in spite of that. But then Laurie assured her saying, “it’s my private opinion that if he had not been called home so suddenly and detained so long, something would have come of it, hey?”

‘That’s not for me to say” she replied as cool as she could, but she was unable to hide her blush nor the sparkle in her eyes. Fred might not be the love of her life, but he accepted her as she was, and that was enough for her. Plus, just as when she met Laurie’s friends, she enjoyed knowing that she held power over a man like Fred. 

“He’s a good fellow, Amy, but not the man I fancied you’d like.” Amy knew he and Fred weren’t best friends, but she hoped he would like the idea of their marriage, even intercede in his favor in front of her family. Because she knew they wouldn’t like it, especially Jo. She still held a grudge for that football game. And Marmee knew she was just doing it for the comfort she could get by being his wife. Her father would sermon and her sisters would judge her. But now he was the one judging, telling her that it didn’t sound like one of her mother’s girls! She ended the topic quite harshly. And just as he did, she redirected the conversation against him. 

“Flo and I have got a new name for you. It’s Lazy Laurence. How do you like it?” She tried to provoke him, but only got idleness in return. So she said what she thought would never feel.

“I despise you.” She said coldly. But Laurie maintained his careless air. “Aren’t you ashamed of a hand like that? It’s as soft and white as a woman’s, and looks as if it never did anything but wear Jouvin’s best gloves and pick flowers for ladies.” She said as a call back to their conversation on the beach. Even she had worked more with her hands than him. She thought it would help to mention Jo, seeing as her opinion was the only one he seemed to care about. It took her a moment to realize the truth as he played with the ring her sister gave him long ago. Suddenly her tone changed. She was apologizing now. But contrary to her expectations, it wasn’t Miss Randal that got him like that, but Jo. 

“You knew perfectly well I never cared for anyone but Jo,” Laurie blurted out. It felt as if someone had poured frozen water over her. How much she wished she could turn back time. 

“I was wrong, I didn’t know. I’m very sorry I was so cross, but I can’t help wishing you’d bear it better, Teddy, dear.” Now, any other day, he would have let her use that name. But not today. He could hear Amy’s regret in her voice, yet he couldn’t stop being angry. “Wait till you’ve tried it yourself,” he said, unaware that she already did. And contrary to his reaction, it made her stronger. 

“I’d take it manfully, and be respected if I couldn’t be loved.” Things got quiet after that for a while. With both of them calmer, they resumed their discussion. How ironic it was that Amy was telling this to him, the very cause of her heartbreak! But she couldn’t let him throw his life away because of a rejection. “I don’t pretend to be wise, but I am observing, and I see a great deal more than you’d imagine. Love Jo all your days, if you choose, but don’t let it spoil you, for it’s wicked to throw away so many good gifts because you can’t have the one you want.” Laurie heard Amy’s words which would take another sense in the future. Both of them remained silent after that. Laurie went back to his lazy position and Amy finished her drawing. 

“Here,” she said, handing him the sketch. He may not be well-educated in fine arts, but this sketch was proof that Amy were worthy of praise. 

“How well you do it!” Was his critique. 

“This is you now, and this is how you used to be.” She said, leaving on his leg another paper, this one much older and yellow due to the passage of time. 

_“Jo, move away!” Fifthteen-year-old Amy instructed her sister, who was cheering and clapping at Laurie’s attempts to ‘tame’ Puck. Her other sisters weren’t at all interested, actually, they were quite scared. But Puck was such a noble animal, it would never hurt Laurie. Meanwhile, the boy looked like an authentic knight in shiny armor, brave and handsome as he caressed the horse. And Amy couldn’t resist sketching him like that. Unfortunately, Jo had decided to stand right in front of her, blocking her sight from the scene._

_Once Laurie succeeded, he rode the horse. Jo stopped and went to sit next to her sisters. “I wish I could do that.” She protested, provoking Amy to roll her eyes at her brother.  
_

_Years later, as Amy was packing her stuff for the greatest experience in her life, she found that same sketch among all her paintings and notebooks. She held the piece of paper and signed. Then, shaking her head and remembering she didn’t have time for daydreaming, she made the move to put it back on the chest but stopped. She looked at the door, not wanting anyone to see her and discover her true feelings. No one was around as she carefully put it in between a sketchbook she was taking to Europe._

Laurie examined both drawings silently. Amy surely knew how to give a lesson. Her words had touched him, even if he didn't know it yet. But these drawings...they certainly made an impression on him instantly. However, being the stubborn man he was, he couldn’t let her win so easily. He made a subtle, not-so-subtle, move for them to return to the hotel. And Amy understood quickly his message. During the way back, they both made efforts to have fun. But the discussion in Valrosa had affected them both, and they were unable to turn back from it. 

* * *

The next morning, the Carrols returned, just in time for breakfast. After that, the two girls remained in the drawing-room, since Flo was tired from the trip. “It was so beautiful, oh, and the fashion, Amy. You would have loved it!” Flo had been going on and on about the beauties she found in Monaco. Amy tried to pay attention, but her mind kept drifting to Laurie. Since the time she spent in Aunt March house when she was 12, they haven’t had that much time alone. And now it seemed she ruined this one. As she got lost in those thoughts, she vaguely heard her cousin calling her name.

“Alright, what is it?” Flo sat in front of her. “You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said.”

“I’m sorry.” Amy apologized, not being able to come up with an excuse.

“So, I imagine you’re off with Lazy Laurence in the afternoon,” Flo asked, not angry at Amy’s indifference. She was more curious than upset at her.

“I don’t think so.” She said in a sad tone, and Flo frowned at the confusion. She had come to know Amy well enough during their trip. Amy was usually jolly and amiable, but she truly shone that past month with Laurie. She would get up with a smile on her face and come back happy, after an evening with her neighbor. 

“Did something happen?” Flo asked worriedly.

“I could have been nicer to him.” She continued. “He proposed to Jo.”

“Oh no,” Flo said. Jo had never been very close to her, but she knew that her cousin never wanted to get married.

“She rejected him. My family never tells me anything.” She said looking at the fireplace in a resentful tone.

“That’s why he’s been so lazy, then?” Flo added. Amy was about to say something when a message arrived for her.

_My Dear Mentor,_

_Please make my adieux to your aunt, and exult within yourself, for ‘Lazy Laurence’ has gone to his grandpa, like the best of boys. A pleasant winter to you, and may the gods grant you a blissful honeymoon at Valrosa! I think Fred would be benefited by a rouser. Tell him so, with my congratulations._

_Yours gratefully,_

_Telemachus_

“I think we should stop calling him that,” Amy said, folding the letter. “He says he’s going to his grandfather.” She said, exhaling in relief. She liked having him around. Hell, she _loved_ having him around. It felt nice having him all for herself. But she couldn’t let him stay here wasting his time like that. It would have been too selfish. After they got back to her hotel, he left not confirming if he’d come back or not. She couldn’t sleep half the night, thinking about how she might have made an irreparable damage to their friendship. Reading Laurie’s message was a huge comfort for her. 

* * *

It hadn't been an easy task to write that letter. Laurie knew he had been cold towards her on their way back from Valrosa, but he couldn’t help it. He hated to be told what to do. Besides, _Amy should have known better!_ he thought in an attempt to blame her for his actions. The truth was that even if it annoyed him, he knew Amy was only doing it for his own good. He came to that realization after pacing across the room with a full glass in his hand. It was as if something was keeping him from drinking it. Half an hour later, he went down to the reception, asked for the next train to Paris, and told them to deliver the message. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 39: Lazy Laurence is one of the best chapters in the whole book. And again I felt like I was just paraphrasing Louisa's words, hence the length of this. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and I look forwards to read your comments.


	5. Big decisions II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Laurie take important decisions during their time apart, but not without thinking on each other.

**Paris, 1870**

_“Why don’t you do something splendid, and make her love you?”_

_‘I did,” he pointed out._

_“Graduating well, you mean? That was no more than you ought to have done, for your grandfather’s sake. It would have been shameful to fail after spending so much time and money, when everyone knew that you could do well.”_

_“I did fail, say what you will, for Jo wouldn’t love me,” He said and Amy rolled her eyes internally. If she would have thought as he did, she would be a miserable creature right now._

Part of Laurie’s discussion with Amy kept going on and on in his head. For years he thought of himself as a martyr, sent to college against his will for a future far away from his dreams. He heard countless times Jo envying his opportunities. So he thought if only he went to college and performed well, that should be enough. But it wasn’t. Jo said ‘no’ even after graduating with honors. He pleaded, begged, and threatened, and still, she said ‘no’.

Meanwhile, Mr. Laurence observed the boy closely. He was surprised when Laurie wrote that he was going back to Paris, and even more when he offered to help him with the business. His countenance improved so much that he began to wonder what could have got him in better spirits. Laurie wasn’t going to admit that he received a scolding from Amy, but his grandfather suspected it had to do with Nice. However, after weeks of working dutifully, Laurie kept his melancholic air after work hours.

“You look better, son,” the old man declared during a dinner with only the two of them, just like past times. 

“Thank you,” Laurie said shyly.

“The climate of Nice has improved you wonderfully. Had I knew that’s what you needed, I would have sent you there sooner.” He continued with a playful tone, in an attempt to make dinner more relaxed. Laurie smiled in return and continued eating.

“You’ve been doing a good job in the firm.” Mr. Laurence said, seeing that the last comment didn’t succeed. “I’ve been thinking...would you like to go to Vienna?” Laurie raised his head in interest. “You have friends there, right? Maybe you could spend Easter there. They say the opera season of this year is a good selection.” He said, hoping that the topic of music would help. At last, Laurie agreed. He remembered Amy’s words once more. Maybe working on business wasn’t the splendid thing Amy made reference to. Maybe, he would do it in Vienna. The thought raised his spirits a bit, thinking that finally, he was going to achieve his dream of becoming a great composer. Meanwhile, his grandfather begged God that this would help their relationship. He had made so many mistakes, and he could see it now. But if he let Laurie be close to music like he always wanted, that could help, right?

* * *

_“Good morning, Aunt March,” Amy said entering the drawing-room where Aunt March was already waiting for her. She gently kissed her cheek and remained standing up._

_“Good morning, dear.”_

_“Did you enjoy the wedding?” Esther said, entering the room to leave a cup of tea for each March woman. Amy smiled, but before she answered she heard Aunt March made an annoyed sound and saw her rolling her eyes._

_“It was a beautiful ceremony. Meg looked like the perfect bride and we all had a marvelous time.” She said that last thing looking at Aunt March._

_“I’m glad, dear. I’ve heard very kind comments about Mr. Brooke in town.” Estelle mentioned._

_“What do you want kindness for, if you’re going to starve.” Aunt March remarked._

_“Aunt March. I know it wasn’t you expected, but he really is a good man and he loves our Meg so much.” Amy said going around the room, stopping at the new flowers in the window._

_“Please, Amy. You must promise me, you’ll choose better!”_

_“I promise to marry sensibly, Aunt March. You have to admit they looked really happy. And if I do, then you won’t have to worry about Meg. I’ll take care of them.”_

_“I’m counting on you, girl. Now go, bring the book.” Aunt March said pointing her finger at the library._

**Nice, 1870**

For the last couple of weeks, Amy found herself thinking about Aunt March's words about marriage. Fred had written a couple of days ago, telling that Frank’s health seemed to be improving rapidly, and he may be able to visit her soon. Amy found herself having mixed feelings about the news. On one hand, she was relieved that Frank got better. But on the other, she dreaded the return of Fred to her life, not that he disappeared those last months, he sent a few letters to her. However, a feeling in her guts made her anxious and uncomfortable. She knew he was coming to propose, eventually, and Laurie’s words made it all the more real. 

Tomorrow was Saint Valentine’s Day. Cards celebrating the day were all over the place, and Amy couldn’t help but imagine that if everything went according to the plan, next year she was going to celebrate the day with Fred as her husband. Something about it felt wrong. Was she really prepared to spend the rest of her life with a man she liked but never loved?

* * *

**Vienna, 1870**

Laurie arrived in Vienna in mid-March and decided to make the most of this opportunity. He encountered a few friends that let him stay in their shared house. They all were music lovers. Ernest was a talented violinist and Jonas had studied piano all his life. Together they had made a few compositions, but nothing impressive, yet. They received Laurie joyfully, after not having seen him in years. 

“How did you convince your grandfather to let you come here?” Jonas asked on their first night there, while they ate. Over the years, Laurie’s letters related his grandfather’s attempts to keep him away from music.

“He suggested it. He got sick of me too soon.” Laurie said mockingly, “I don’t know, I think he’s trying to make amends.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” Laurie sighed.

In the following weeks, the three men went to as many operas and concerts as they could. The Viennese air moved him to compose his own opera. He decided to canalize his heartbreak on a requiem, after going to a Mozart’s concert where they performed the genius’ last creation. However, his mind betrayed him, often humming a particular waltz he heard in Nice. It was too soon for him to realize what was going on. 

_Mozart composed operas before the requiem,_ he thought and set his next task to write an opera. He wanted his heroine to be Jo, brave, and confident, ready to take over the world. However, the more he tried to remember her attributes, he found himself frustrated. His friends saw him trying, writing, and throwing away balls of paper with his failed attempts. Somehow he couldn’t bring up memories where Jo was the perfect creature he thought she was. “Bless that girl, what a torment she is!” He said loudly. He rubbed his face harshly. What was wrong with him. Sitting at the floor of the living room, leaning his back on the couch, he threw his head backward and closed his eyes, breathing consciously. 

“Why don’t you try something new?” Suggested Jonas, entering the room after hearing Laurie’s exclamation. “Stop trying to fit the protagonist into the story. _Tabula rasa_!” He advised his friend before exiting the apartment, leaving Laurie on his own for the rest of the day. 

* * *

**Nice, 1870**

Fred arrived 10 days later and the first thing he did was visiting Amy. Mrs. Carrol welcomed the boy, expecting good news soon. They returned to their routine from before, taking beautiful, if not romantic, walks in the parks and the beach. His feelings hadn’t changed, if anything he seemed more determined, which made Amy more anxious. After an hour's promenading, they walked back to her hotel as usual. Just today wasn't as ordinary as other times. As the hotel began to appear in the view, Fred took her hand and pulled her into a kiss. It wasn't passionate, but it lasted longer than a mere peck.

“How was it?” Flo asked as Amy entered her room. “It’s good to have Fred back, right?”

“Yes, it is.” Amy said walking towards the window, still blushing for Fred's impulsiveness. “We went walking and we had a good time, you know. He’s sweet and attentive...”

“Aha, still not attracted to him then?”

"He kissed me,"

"And?"

“Nothing!” Amy confessed to her cousin. “Why can’t I feel anything for him? I mean, he’s the perfect gentleman! And I do like him, we have a good time together and I feel safe with him, but there has to be more in a marriage than comfort and company. I know that’s not why my parents got married!” Flo just watched Amy go back and forth, expressing her frustration.

The next day, Fred took her to a reunion with his friends. Amy knew a couple of them, but the rest were strangers. They decided to go to the beach, seeing as the day was warm. Their friends insisted on this outing. They were anxious to meet Amy, after all, he had told them about her. 

“Fred insisted on spending time in Nice!” Said Katherine “and now I see why!”

“Amy, how are you liking Europe?” Asked another one of the group.

“It’s been wonderful. I’ve seen so many incredible things and got the opportunity to learn so much about art and painting.”

“You paint?” Asked Katherine, surprised by it. 

“I did. I took classes in London and Paris, but I’m not doing that anymore.” Amy said, and she felt her heart breaking as she spoke. Now, it felt, there was no going back to her decision. 

“Oh, pity,”

“Your family approved?”

“Yes, they always supported me. My aunt paid for classes back in Concord and allowed me to study here.”

“Huh, that’s unusual,” someone told her.

“Yes, Amy’s drawings were lovely,” Fred said trying to cheer her up. However, that did little to her spirits. Suddenly, Amy began questioning whether Fred truly knew her or just the idea of her. Did he ever appreciate her art? He never encouraged her to continue. He always avoided visiting art exhibitions whenever she suggested and was disinterested at any mention of art she made. “But I guess it’s better that you leave it. It’s not the most appropriate profession for a woman.” Amy listened to Fred’s words and smiled while nodding, while she was destroyed inside. But she wasn’t going to make a scene in front of these people. 

“I hear some students hire male prostitutes to draw them!” Joshua pointed out, lowering the voice as if it were a secret. Amy felt a sting in her heart. She knew, of course, that there were female students who did this. One of them invited her once in Paris to a meeting, but she refused. Now, she was blushing. She thought of all the hours she spent studying anatomy and felt shame. What if she continued painting? Would Fred think less of her for that? Would he ask her to abandon her ambitions? What about their kids? What if one of them wanted to be an artist, or a musician or a writer? When she was a teenager, she swore she would never stop her children in the pursuit of any art form, and she was going to provide for them the necessary instruments to achieve their dream. She resisted the urge to cry. For years she kept quiet on the things that bothered her about the others. She trained her tongue and mind to always say the right thighs and hide her feelings. She criticized Jo for not doing the same. But at that moment she couldn’t hold herself.

“Well, that wouldn’t happen if they’d let us study as men do,” Amy replied and everyone looked at her.

“What do you mean?” 

“I just found very interesting how they all claim to be doing us a favor, protecting our integrity and reputation, while keeping us away from the great themes and paintings of big dimensions. It's very _convenient_ ” She said in a determined tone that left everyone speechless for a few moments. She kept her eyes on Joshua, but she could hear Fred’s change of breathing. Boy, he wasn’t happy. Katherine looked at him, concerned.

“Wow, you Americans certainly have things to say!” Joshua said, trying to alleviate the tension. And they all laughed nervously.

The group remained there for a couple of hours before going separate ways. That night Amy stayed awake thinking about her decision sitting in her bed under the covers. She rarely stepped back from a decision. Then why was she now doubting her determination of marrying Fred? Laurie’s words came back to her: _it sounds odd from the lips of one of your mother’s girls._ Indeed, it was a strange idea that one of the March girls would marry for money. But then again, she had said she would, even if her family didn’t understand her motivations. Yet, the idea of Laurie seeing her as one more of the dozens of ‘Queens of society’ he generally avoided made her reconsider the situation. She fixed her eyes on the turquoise ring on her pinky finger, a reminder not to be selfish. It was curious. On the one hand, her intentions weren’t entirely selfish. Yes, she wanted comfort and a life without the daily troubles she had growing up. But on the other, she wished she could be selfish. She wished she could forget about the urgency of marrying well and give her art another chance to improve. But she couldn’t do that. Jo’s marriage to Laurie would have alleviated some pressure from Amy. She would have still married a rich man, but she could have taken her time. Besides, with Laurie married to her sister, it would have given her the closure she needed to stop thinking about him in that way. Maybe she could have been able to open her heart to Fred or any other man who made the effort.

* * *

**Vienna, 1870**

By the time his friends got back to the apartment, Laurie had invented another character. This one looked nothing like Jo. She was an authentic snow maiden, graceful, elegant, a great dancer and beautiful smile that lit the room. The more he thought about her, the more he liked her and declared it his heroine. But even with this notably fonder protagonist, his life seemed void and senseless. He went all over the city searching for inspiration but nothing worked. Instead, he found himself wondering about the work he started doing in Paris. He’ll admit now that there is pride in being useful and respected for your work. And he longed for that feeling because it turned out that he really learned stuff in college. 

One night, he went on his own to enjoy a masterpiece from his idol, Mozart’s _Cosi fan Tutte_ . A peculiar thought consumed his mind as the opera was being performed. And when the curtain fell and lights came back, he barely had the energy to walk back home. Upon stepping into the empty apartment, Laurie sat down at the piano and began playing his composition. The melody was nice. But after hearing three hours of a masterpiece, his work appeared to be the mere attempt of an amateur. Ernest had on the library busts of the greatest composers of all time, and Laurie could swear they were looking at him. It was as if they were telling him, _you could never be one of us_. It wasn’t a pleasant idea. At last, he accepted the inevitable.

“She is right! Talent isn’t genius, and you can’t make it so. That music has taken the vanity out of me as Rome took it out of her, and I won’t be a humbug any longer. Now what shall I do?” He said to himself. 

Now that he lost his music, he went back to the only thing that gave sense to his existence, Jo. Maybe she wasn’t fit to star in an opera, but she was still the woman he loved...right? The truth is that just his enthusiasm about music faded, so did his all-consuming feelings for Jo did. Nevertheless, he resisted the idea of forgetting her. He couldn’t, if he did, what he had left? His love for Jo got him through college and made him think of a life of his own. But his heart refused to keep suffering. He hated himself for not aching. Yet, it wasn’t that he was forgetting her. No, he loved her. She was the first true friend he ever had. Since he had moved from boarding school to boarding school, he hadn’t been able to deepen any relationship with anyone. But Jo stuck around, the whole March family did. For the first time in years, he felt like he had a home and a family to come back to. They even achieved his grandfather to be softer, especially Beth. When his grandfather suggested he’d marry one of the March girls, he was so willing because it meant he would keep them close. But Jo rejected him and he thought he would lose them all. Then Amy appeared in Nice, and she treated him like family. Oh, Amy, he smiled momentarily at the thought of her.

Going back to Jo, he felt deep love, but it was brotherly love, the kind that wants to protect her and have her around the rest of his life, but not in a romantic way. He seemed satisfied with this realization. But as soon as he looked at his hand where the little ring Jo gifted him, he protested. “No! I must try, one more time!” Laurie said abruptly, walking towards the desk.

* * *

**Nice, 1870**

On a Saturday afternoon, Fred took her on a carriage ride along the park. They reached this beautiful place where the tree made an arch, and he guided her to it, where they’d have more privacy.

"This place is beautiful, Fred," Amy said, admiring the landscape. It was just them. She knew what was going to happen, and she wished she could open a hole in the ground and go inside. 

"Amy March,'' Fred said, taking her hand and getting on one knee. "Will you give me the honor to be my wife?" Honor? Fred thought it was an honor to be married to her. Amy couldn't go on with this farce. 

"Fred...stand up," Amy said after a few seconds. Fred wasn't stupid. He stood up and waited for her to say something. "I...I..." Amy tried to find the right words but fell incapable of doing so. "I'm so sorry".

“Is it because of what happened on the beach?”

“What if I don’t want to give up painting? What if I still want to be a professional?”

“But you don’t!”

“But what if I do?” Amy insisted. “Does your family even like me?”

“Don’t turn this on my family, this is about us,” Fred answered. “I should have known it since Germany, but I refused to accept it.”

“I wish I could love you, I really wish I could do that. You are a good man and you deserve someone who would love you for the rest of your life and who would fit into your world. But we both know it’s not me. What happened on the beach just confirmed it." She continued. "I'm so sorry, for everything." Tears began forming in her eyes. 

Fred nodded, his heart was breaking. He really came to see Amy as the perfect wife for him. But she was right.

"One of the things I liked the most about you is how determined you were." He said watching Amy smile at the compliment as tears fell quicker. "I can't believe now it's working against me." They looked like the perfect couple, but going deeper, they clearly belong somewhere else. "Well then, I guess I should go." He grabbed her head and gave her a kiss on her temple. "Goodbye, Amy. I wish you all the luck in the world". 

"Me too. Goodbye, Fred." Amy saw Fred beginning to walk. 

Fred remembered that they had arrived on a carriage. "Umm...do you..." He started asking if she might want to take the carriage.

"No, you go ahead, I'll walk." Fred nodded and left. Amy leaned on the balustrade that was there trying to catch her breath. This was the best opportunity she ever had. Someone like Fred doesn't choose the girl with no money and mended dresses. She honestly hoped he could find someone better than her. 

After half an hour, Amy began walking back to the hotel. The walk would serve her to think about what she would say to Aunt March and her family. She was so tired. Saying no to Fred proved to be harder than she imagined. She criticized Jo so much for hurting Laurie in such a way, and now she did the same. But she guessed, it ended up being for the same reason, they didn't love them. It would have been worse to pretend and live a lie in place they didn’t belong to. 

* * *

**Vienna, 1870**

The letter finally arrived! After weeks of waiting, Jo had answered back. He held the paper on his hands, fearing a negative response. He offered his hand once more. One last try and he set the matter forever. 

_My dear Teddy,_

_It’s so good to hear from you. I’m glad to know that you are well after so many months of silence. Please don’t do that again._

_I wish I could say yes, I truly do. If that would fix things, I would marry you this very instant. But I can’t. It would only bring us unhappiness. I beg you, don’t ask me ever again. I’m always going to be here for you, but I can’t be your wife. I don’t want to be your wife._

_I know you’ll find someone else, someone who would sweep you off your feet. I pray to God that you find her soon. Just don’t forget your loving sister, Jo, alright?_

_P.S. I’m back in Concord. Beth fell ill last autumn and we’re taking care of her. Don’t tell Amy anything, Beth doesn’t want to ruin her trip. But do keep watch out for her._

_Yours,_

_Jo_

Laurie finished reading the letter and sat down on the desk. He felt an urgency to write to Amy. He’ll respect Beth’s wishes of keeping Amy unaware of her illness, but he should write to her. However, now he was focused on Jo’s response to his proposal. He expected it to hurt as much as the first time. But Jo’s rejection now came with a sense of relief. Like he had just laid down a huge weight from his shoulders. He smiled upon reading the word ‘sister’. Yes, that who Jo was, a sister...a reckless, impulsive, annoying sister. 

He placed the letter on top of the other letter from Jo that had gone unanswered. He took the bunch, sighed, and put it in the drawer on the desk. As he did that, he noticed the silver ring on his finger. Somehow, wearing it didn’t have the same sensation as before. For years, he avoided taking it off. But now he was pulling it off easily. He took a moment to look at it before putting it on top of the letters and closing the drawer. It was funny how such a simple gesture as closing a drawer meant to him. 

He went to the only place where he knew he’d get comfort, Saint Stephan cathedral. During his whole trip, Church was the last thought that crossed his mind. He lost his parents too soon and that made him bitter towards God. But he knew that was a place of mourning and comfort and that was exactly what he needed now. No one died this time, but he was saying goodbye to his first love. Nonetheless, contrary to what he felt after the first rejection, he felt peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conversation about male models was a reality. For centuries female artists had to risk their reputation to learn anatomy. They sometimes hired male prostitutes or models in secret to study their bodies. And the discussion was based on Portrait of a Lady on Fire (one of the best movies I've ever seen!)
> 
> And the proposal scene was inspired by The Other Alcott (a fictionalized telling of May Alcott's life)
> 
> BTW, up until now, I was trying to fill in the spaces the book left. However, in the book the next time Amy and Laurie see each other, Beth is dead and they fall in love and get married. But I'm not doing that. I guess this is where the AU really begins.
> 
> Lastly, this is my last week of vacations, before going back to college. Therefore, updates may take longer than usual. But I promise I would finish this story and write as much as I can in my free time. I may even get to update another chapter at the weekend.


	6. The necessity of being close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update. Between school and a writer's block, I couldn't do it sooner. 
> 
> I love in the book how they were courting before they knew what they were doing and everyone around them knew it before them. It's so cute!

**Nice, 1870**

Amy thought Marmee’s advice was useless at the time. Now she reaffirmed that her mother was a wise woman, who always had the best advice for her daughters. She knew Amy was going to make the right choice by following her heart. Rejecting Fred was a painful thing, especially because she knew that he honestly was interested in her, which was odd. People as rich as he tends to marry girls of the same class. In truth, he didn't object to her lack of money. What bothered him was her thinking. _And he didn’t meet the rest of my family,_ Amy thought. She always considered herself different from the rest of the family. Somehow she couldn’t let morality rule everything. The world doesn’t work like that. She guessed that's why she made a better connection with Aunt March. She always looked for the most practical solution, earning her a lot of frustration from her family. She remembered her mother sending her to accompany Beth to visit the Hummels. The thought of her own family falling into this kind of poverty terrified her, and frankly, there were days when she couldn’ sleep because of it. 

_“Amy,” Beth called her. She was about to knock on the door when she noticed Amy wasn’t behind her. So she walked to bring her in. However, she saw her little sister looking thoughtfully at the small house. “What is it?”_

_“How long do you think we have until we reach this point?”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“Father may not come back, and even if he does, he won’t be able to find a job. Marmee can’t provide for us all.”_

_“Father will be fine! He’s going to come back and it will all be good.” Beth said, somewhat angry and scared at Amy’s cold words. She didn’t mean to hurt her angel sister. But she couldn’t help but wonder if they could be as poor as the Hummels. “Come on,” Beth pulled Amy inside. But it was the last time Amy went to that house._

She knew they see her as a mercenary, prepared to give everything up for riches and status. And it wasn’t that those things weren’t appealing for her, but they were the means to her end. 

Now, her family wasn’t here to judge her but the rest of society was. News of her rejection of Fred traveled fast. It wasn’t every day that a poor woman said ‘no’ to one of the wealthiest heirs of Europe that wasn’t directly any royal family. Some people thought she was mad, others dispersed rumors about her reasons. She knew some people had noticed her closeness with Laurie. Flo had been right, given his reputation they thought Amy had fallen in disgrace. Fortunately, those who said that were a minority, because Amy had managed to perform excellently in society, and she had earned their respect. However, invitations of all kinds did decrease in number. But she guessed these were the times when she met her real friends. 

She wrote to Anne telling her the news. And to her surprise, she wrote back completely supporting her. Amy told her everything: the day at the beach, Fred’s reaction to her comments, his thoughts on women artists. She told her about the proposal. _The Vaughns are a classic English family, very set in their ways, highly traditional. Frank and Grace are somewhat more open, but Fred and Kate are made a semblance of their parents. His grandmother must be glad you didn’t say ‘yes’ She hates Americans more than Mr. Vaughn…I think you made the right choice… Hopefully, we’ll see each other soon,_ Anne wrote back. The friends she made at her art classes were also happy that she said ‘no’. For them, it was inconceivable that he would want her to drop painting when it clearly made her happy. As her friends expressed their support, she wondered why it took her so long to realize that they weren’t made for one another. It was quite clear to them all. The only thing she regretted was losing Grace as a friend.

Of course, Florence supported her too. When Mrs. Carrol heard about it, Flo had argued in favor of Amy asking not to be hard on her. Really, Florence had nothing to worry about. Her mother wasn’t going to get angry at her niece. But she was worried that one day Amy might regret her decision. She knew Aunt March had an urgency to marry her to the richest man she could get to save her family. Aunt Carrol wrote to Plumfield regularly, telling her accounts of Amy’s behavior. Aunt March had confessed her excitement upon hearing that Fred Vaugh was interested in her. Now she had to crush her hopes. 

But as some people lose, some win. As happy as she was for Amy, she wished Flo would have the same luck of finding a suitor. Her prayers were heard when they received a letter from a long time friend, hoping they could meet. She made friends with Marianne Taylor when they were in their teens. Later on, Marianne moved to Boston, but they kept contact. And she remembered they got pregnant around the same time. One had a boy, the other had a girl. As they realized the coincidence, they joked about how wonderful it would be if they get married. Now, it seemed that their wish was coming true. Amy watched as Flo’s eyes shone when James was around. Her eyes never did that with Fred.

Amy gladly assumed her role as a companion. After all the drama with Fred, she was relieved she wasn’t alone and Flo was the center of attention. She liked James, he was a good man, she could see it. Unlike Fred, who used to ignore Flo, James talked to her and treated her as a friend. 

“How are you, Amy?” He asked. When he arrived at their lives, Amy was about to reject Fred. So he knew more or less the story.

“I’m fine. I’m waiting for more interesting news than my refusal of Fred to get to high society so I can walk freely around.”

James laughed softly. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you won’t have to wait long, they get bored quickly. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked genuinely concerned.

“Yes. I mean, I feel awful. I don’t regret saying ‘no’ to him, but I do wish I had said something earlier. I feel like I wasted his time. He was nothing but kind to me. He’s going to make some girl very happy one day. But at the same time, it’s like he never knew me fully.”

“Maybe it was late, but at least you didn’t lie for the rest of your life, faking happiness you were never going to have.”

* * *

The weather and the war pushed the family to move. Although Nice was out of danger, Mr. Carrol wanted to go to neutral grounds. “Bismark is not going to stop,” he said. He didn’t want to risk it, traveling with three women had its responsibilities. Luckily for them, their friends took them in. Noah and Ellis Nieriker were rich aristocrats with a gorgeous house in the countryside of Vevay, too big for a couple of old adults with no more company than the servants. The villa was huge, there were fountains, horses and big open areas. Oh the horses, Amy loved them so much! They were delighted to meet Amy and Flo and gave them the freedom to go around the property as they pleased. “It’s so nice to have young people around,” the woman declared. 

Mrs. Carrol was quick to mention how much Amy loved to ride horses and they told her she could use theirs whenever to which Amy was infinitely grateful. Horse riding made Amy feel freer than she really was. As beautiful as Europe was, it could also be constraining. You had to watch every single move you made. One mistake and society was very unforgiving and judgy. Amy missed her days at Orchard house when it didn’t matter if your skirt wasn’t perfectly put on, or your hair was loose. Of course, when she was at home, she craved this lifestyle. One couldn’t have it all. She was always attached to the rules, she wore a corset even though her mother didn’t impose it on her and always had her hair perfectly braided. But once she was on a horse, she let loose. They had a stallion and two mares, one of which just had a colt a month before they arrived. Amy hadn’t seen a cuter thing. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Amy said caressing the mare’s head while the stableman arranged the saddle. 

“She likes you!” Said the stableman once he finished. Amy smiled at him, then returned to address the mare.

“You do? I like you too. Would you stay still for me for an hour?” Amy said playfully. She knew her request was unrealistic, but she was eager to draw this mare. It was so gorgeous, there wasn’t a single dark spot on her. Its hair was long and grey as well as the tail. The man helped Amy settle rightly. She began walking slowly, but as soon as she was out her Aunt’s reach, she increased the speed. After riding for a while, she went back and passed two hours sketching the animal. 

When she came back, she went to the drawing-room where Mrs. Carrol and Nieriker were knitting. “Amy dear, can you go with Flo,” She said nodding at the window, from which they could see Flo and James talking. 

“I don’t know if I should.” She objected when they saw the lovebirds leaning closer as they laughed. 

“Oh, if I could be their age again!” Mrs. Nieriker said laughing lightly. 

“Please? Or would you prefer me to go.” This forced Amy to accede to her aunt’s petition, although she knew Flo wouldn’t like it.

“I’ve been sent as a chaperone,” Amy said, walking slowly towards the young couple and sitting on the remaining chair.

“Ah, I can’t believe it!” Flo said looking offended at James who just smiled with his head down. “How is it that we need a chaperone, James, who my mother is well aware of his impeccable reputation and you can spend hours in Nice with Laurie doing who knows what?!”

“Who knows what! Flo, don’t say that. You’ll put all sorts of thoughts into people’s heads. They already do” Amy replied. 

“You write to him more than to your family.”

“Because he’s closer!” Flo looked at Amy incredulously and turned to James telling him something with the eyes. Letters did come faster from Vienna than from Concord, but she still wrote twice a week! Maybe Amy’s eyes didn’t react with Fred, but they sure did with Laurie.

“And he’s coming here...next week?”

“Well, he can’t stay in Vienna much longer. His grandfather is leaving Paris for London. The war is getting closer and closer and if Laurie wants to meet him, he would have to cross part of the Empire to reach him. It’s easier to come here.” Amy said, repeating Laurie’s reasoning to go there.

“Hopefully, they won’t do much damage to the city,” James commented. 

* * *

**Vevay, Switzerland, 1870**

Laurie did arrive the following week with Jonas and they were staying at Ernest’s house on the coast. He quickly reunited with Amy. A lot of people were coming to Switzerland, so they weren’t short of friends. But even then, he devoted most of his time to Amy. They would do things as a group, but Jonas and Ernest understood quickly why he was so eager to go to Vevay. Laurie and Amy settled into the same pattern as in Nice. Around noon, Laurie would arrive and take her somewhere. And Amy was glad she had someone to race with because Flo was too boring. Now that they were in the countryside, Aunt Carrol couldn’t object to it. 

Upon arrival, Jonas’ sister organized a small party with all of them, since they were going to be there for a while until they could go back to their places. Besides, it was summer. This time, Laurie danced joyfully with Amy from the beginning. Jonas and Ernest enjoyed playing music, but they also had hired musicians so they could have fun and dance. They all were dancing with everyone, getting to know one another. 

Now Amy was dancing with someone else while Laurie watched from the table. Only this time he wasn’t having an existential crisis. But he surely was admiring Amy. He didn’t hear Flo sitting next to him. “I think I’m having a dejá vu.” She teased him.

“One would think courtship would do you good.”

“You don’t look as depressed as you did months ago. It suited you. You looked more...average.” 

“Is that a compliment?”

“It’s a peace offering. We’re going to be here for a long time. Amy needs us both, and we need her.”

“I don’t need her.” He said, not even believing his own words. Because if he did need her would be accepting something he was still discovering. For weeks, he tried to find an excuse to come to see her. Writing to her was nice, he felt anxious upon waiting for her letters. But he longed to see her. At first, he did it because he didn’t want to leave her alone. But as the days passed, he found himself not seeing as a duty but a true pleasure. He liked to read about everything that happened to her, what she did, what she saw and visited. He laughed at the memory of her grammatical mistakes when speaking when she was just a child and came to admire the progress she made. So when his grandfather announced he was moving to London, and he could accompany him or he could stay safe somewhere else, he preferred to come to see Amy. His grandfather agreed, already suspecting that his change of spirit in Nice was due to the youngest March sister and not to the weather. 

“Then what are you doing here?” Flo asked watching Amy twirl around with Jonas, although she knew it was completely friendly. Laurie didn’t reply, instead, he extended his hand at Flo. 

“You could at least stand up!”

“I’m making my biggest effort,” Laurie said, Flo rolled her eyes but accepted the invitation to dance. The musicians decided to play a Spanish Waltz, so the couples could have fun. And they did! It was a beautiful evening. 

“Ugg, my feet are killing me!” Amy commented, massaging her feet. 

“That’s what happens when you dance all night,” Flo replied, as she was also hurting. 

“Good morning, girls.” Mrs. Carrol entered the room and kissed her daughter. “Did you have fun last night?” Both girls responded affirmatively. “Laurie is in the garden, dear.” She said to Amy because of course, she knew he was there to see Amy. The girl excused herself and went to meet him. As she walked towards him, the gardener crossed paths with her. She greeted him smiling. The employee smiled back and offered her one of the roses he had just cut from the garden.

"Tellement belle, merci," she said, taking one. She stayed a few seconds smelling the rose when she turned to see Laurie. He looked handsome as always, but he carried a melancholic air too absorbed in the book he was reading to notice someone approaching. Without saying anything, Amy sat next to him. He smiled when he saw her, briefly going back to the book. Amy watched the flower and put it in front of Laurie's nose for him to smell it. It worked, it cheered him a little bit up. She finally had his attention. She grabbed the book from him and read the title. 

"Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart" 

"A true genius" Laurie stated. "I can't be like them" Amy looked at him puzzled. 

"How do you know?" 

"It took me three hours of listening to brilliant music to realize that." He looked at her with a sad look. "You were right, talent isn't genius. And there's really no sense in pretending I can be one". 

"I... I didn't mean to bring you down. That's just me, I..." 

"You were right." He said, placing his hand on hers. 

"I'm sorry." She said sympathetically. 

"It's okay" His hand was still on hers. But Amy quickly became aware of how this looked like and removed her hand. 

"So what's the plan now?" 

"I have no idea, you tell me." 

"Come on, There has to be something more in life for you." Amy tried to console him. Months ago she went through the same. “You went on wailing about going to college, and yet you graduated with honors! You should have like at least some of it.”

"How do you do it?" Laurie asked her. "You just keep going no matter what." 

"Practice. I used to give up things I love" She said before even realizing she was doing it. "And time makes everything heal." She said remembering Marmee's wise words once when she was little. Laurie just nodded, curious about what are those things Amy had given up. 

"It's still awful, though," she added with a small laugh. Laurie laughed with her. "We're going to be okay," Amy said. The fact that she used _we_ threw Laurie off a little. Maybe she just said it without any meaning. After all, they were both trying to figure their lives out. Still, something about it felt right and safe. Like they could do it together. 

Amy broke the spell. "Do you have plans for the day?"

"No. You want to go somewhere?"

“My feet are killing me. But we can play some cards inside?” She suggested and they went back to the house to meet Florence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is not as long as the previous ones, but now that I'm back at school, time is more limited. So, I'll guess chapters may be shorter but I'll also try to update as fast as I can. 
> 
> I like to think Flo and Laurie have a kind of love/hate relationship, in which they have fun teasing each other and making sarcastic comments towards one another.  
> I think we're going to stay in Vevay for the next couple of chapters. So, I hope I achieved that tone in their conversation and in the future.  
> Nieriker if May Alcott's husband's last name. 
> 
> I look forward to reading your comments!  
> (btw, I will also try to update my other story this week.)


	7. Kintsugi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurie learns about an ancient Japanese technique that might be the perfect way to repair his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited about this chapter! I actually did a lot of research to write it.
> 
> Did somebody ask for jealous Laurie? This chapter is just the beginning.

**Nice, 1870  
**

As usual, Laurie visited Amy in her “painting studio”. It really was an abandoned little room at the end of that wing. Which wasn't very far away from the drawing-room and she could listen Laurie playing the piano while she painted. But of course, he liked to be close so he sat with her after a while. He watched her as she focused on the canvas. The girl could do anything, he thought. Portrait, flowers, still lifes. In a way he knew she was right, new waves of painters had begun to populate the cities with their new ideas, and Amy's style was losing the battle. The academics were fighting back, but not for long. But for now Amy was just painting the garden in front of them. 

"What was that music you were playing?" Amy asked as she tried to concentrate. 

"Just some melody I learned when I was a child." Laurie replied. "My father taught it to me when I was little." Somehow Amy inspired him enough confidence to tell her that. He rarely talked about his parents, even with Jo. And everyone respected the kid's privacy too much to pry into his life. Amy didn't know what to say. Losing a parent must be the hardest thing, let alone losing both. She had missed her father terribly when he was in the war, fearing to hear horrible news everytime a letter arrived. 

"It's beautiful," She said smiling, he smiled back. 

“Listen, can I ask you a favor?” Laurie said hesitantly.

“Of course, what is it?”

“I know you said you were dropping painting...” Laurie continued, “but can you do one more piece for me?”

“Laurie, please. I know what you’re doing. I won’t keep painting. I'm just killing time with this.”

“I know, I know. And I respect that, truly. Although I still don't agree. It’s just, there’s this portrait that I’ve been wanting to have made for a long time…” He said, taking a small photograph from one of his pockets. He handed it to Amy. “My parents.”

Amy didn’t know what to say. It was an old photograph, quite small but one could still recognize the faces. The woman was sitting while the man remained standing. “You look so much like her.”

“When I went to America, a lot of things stayed in Italy. Also, I was aware that Grandfather didn’t like my mother very much, so I figured I didn’t make him angry by bringing her portrait.” Laurie explained. “But maybe now he would not be upset by it. I don’t know, I will talk to him before bringing it home...”

“I...Maybe you should ask someone else, a professional portraitist…” Handing him back the photo.

“Nonsense, Amy.” He said, grabbing her hand and punching it towards her. “I don’t need some stranger to paint my parents. You didn’t meet them, but you know me. I want you to do it, please.”

“Of course, Laurie.” Amy said, releasing her hand from his. Was there something she could deny to him?  


“Thank you. I know one must draw from real life, but…”

“Don’t worry about that, this is fine,” she said. 

* * *

One night, Laurie stayed with them for an hour after they all went to visit a castle. But a storm started and he couldn’t leave. So he stayed for dinner, hoping the rain would stop or at least decrease its intensity enough. But it didn’t, it only got worse, with thunders and lighting. “Laurie, dear, I don’t think this storm is stopping anytime,” Mrs. Carrol said entering the drawing-room where the young ones were. “Marianne has offered a room for you.” Laurie would have objected. But she was right, the storm was not ceasing and it would be irresponsible to try to go back. 

_ “Beth, please,” Amy begged lying on the bed. For the last 30 minutes, she had been trying to sleep while her sister played in her new piano, courtesy of Mr. Laurence. At least, she was not practicing on her face now. But it was still interrupting her sleep. _

_ “Let me just try one more time, this is harder than the last one,” Beth said without taking her eyes off the keys.  _

_ “Can’t you do that during the day?” _

_ “I thought the melody would lull you to sleep. Everybody else is quiet.” _

_ “Everybody else is not here!” In reality, Jo was awake, writing as always in the attic, so the music was like having Beth with her in the room. Amy was happy for her sister and she loved to hear her play, but not when she wanted to sleep. She groaned and turned her back on Beth and covered her ear with the pillow.  _

Amy was on her bed after writing a letter to Marmee. She told her in the last letter about her decision towards Fred and her mother supported her. Actually, she wouldn’t say it, but she was relieved her daughter rejected him. Not only was she going to marry a man she didn’t love, but she would have lived in London. She was not prepared for that. She closed her eyes for a few seconds when the sound of a piano made her open them again. Her room was the closest to the stairs. Besides, Flo was a very heavy sleeper and Mrs. Carrol was used to sleeping through her husband's snores. And between all the thunder and rain, nobody else heard it. Tired, she put her robe on and walked down the stairs to where the sound was coming from. 

“I can’t believe I crossed an ocean and I’m still awake because of a pianist.” She said standing at the entrance of the room. 

“Sorry,” he said, noticing that Amy was on her nightclothes. Her hair was braided loosely leaving a few locks falling freely around her face.  


“It’s fine.” She said, sitting at the nearest couch from the piano. “It reminds me of her.”

“You should be used to that.” Amy frowned at his comment. “I heard you received a lovely serenade last year.”

“How did you know about that? Fred was drunk at that time. It was nice.”

“Who would have imagined Fred with such displays of affection.”

“Look who’s speaking? Laurie, you are the worst person to talk about being discreet. Whatever you feel, you just let it explode!”

“It’s better than hiding everything you feel.”

“Oh really? Tell me, how does it feel that everyone at home knows what you feel and that you weren’t corresponded.”

“Not great. Why do you think I came to Europe” Laurie said honestly, while looking at the keys. “But it’s better than to appear cold.”

“You think I’m cold?”

“No, but I’ve known you since you were a child.”

“Jo once told me that I’ve got no heart,” Amy confessed in a sad tone. 

“Well, she didn’t read your will. She doesn’t know you pray for Beth’s health every day.”

“I don’t think she’s entirely right. But I know I’m different. Somehow I was always the one seeing the most practical way. My parents and sisters were always making decisions with their feelings. It drove me crazy. That’s how we became so poor. They think I'm a mercenary, I know. But it won’t change my mind.”

“What happened with Fred, then?”

“Nothing happened. That’s the problem. I think we both overlooked a few things about each other.  _ I _ overlook things about myself. It’s one thing to vow to do something, and then when the moment comes... I froze. He got on one knee and I couldn’t utter a word.” She said raising her legs in the chair and hugged them. Her gaze was lost on the carpet.

“He’s going to Egypt.”

“I heard. Did you see him?”

“Yes,” Laurie said looking at the window. “He looked alright, not happy, but he’ll find someone.”

“I really hope that. He’s a good man, he deserves it,” Amy said, putting her chin on her knee. 

“Fred is too focused on business. He needs to relax sometimes. And so do you?”

“Having seen the results of the opposite course of action, I cannot say he chose unwisely,” Amy remarked, preferring to ignore his last sentence.

“So you admit he is boring.” He concluded and Amy just rolled her eyes. Her expression got serious, almost sad. “What’s wrong?”

“Aunt March hasn’t replied to my letters. I sent her another one, thinking the first one got lost. But they regularly reach her without a problem.” She said signing. “The last thing I told her was that I rejected Fred.”

“You think she’s not answering on purpose?”

“I knew it was going to be difficult for her to understand. She could at least tell me, she’s fine. Marmee said they went to see her and she caught the flu.” She said visibly worried.

“You really care about her, don’t you.”

“Yes. I know the rest of the family don’t, even myself at first. But, she’s kinder than she shows and she loves us all. She just has a hard time showing it and it often comes in inappropriate ways.”

“I remember a time when you wailed for being sent to live with her.”

“I was sadder for being away from my family than anything. And I did have to do a lot of chores there.”

“Yes, I remember.” Laurie said, remembering Amy’s injured tone  _ I don’t wish to be sent off as if I was in the way,’.  _ He recalled his heart crutching when he heard saying those words. 

“You did come to see me everyday.” Amy smiled. 

“Jo kept telling me that it wasn’t necessary, but I made a promise to you. And we had fun, didn’t we?”

“Yes, it was nice.” She said smiling. His mention of Jo brought memories from that afternoon in Valrosa and their fight. “Listen, I’m so sorry for what I said to you when we were in Nice, truly Laurie. If I had known...”

“We’ve both said things we regret. Let’s move past that, will you?”

“You should write to her.” She said.

“Why? So you can get rid of me.”

“Yes, but I also think you’ll get physically ill if you don’t talk to her for a year.” She said, which sounded like a joke, but not really. Whether she wanted or not, Jo and Laurie had a unique bond that no one, maybe not even them, understood fully. That is why she said what she said in Valrosa. She could have been selfish, she could have told him to forget about her. However, that would have made him and Jo incredibly unhappy, and she couldn’t do it. She was her sister, her annoying smart and brave sister who drove her crazy, and he was… He was a part of her heart, but one that would never belong to her.

“I have. We’re fine. I hope we can go back to when we were friends.” He said, and it was now that Amy noticed he wasn’t wearing the ring anymore. Maybe he had finally given up. 

  
  


“Good morning,” Laurie said walking into the dining room. The Nierikers were heading the table. On one side were the Carrols, and Amy and Flo were in the next. He was the last one on entering the room and to his delight the chair beside Amy was empty and ready for him. Laurie greeted the table and smiled at Amy as he sat.

“Was someone playing the piano last night?” Mrs. Nieriker asked. And both Amy and Laurie remembered that an encounter like theirs was practically forbidden for many reasons.  


“It was me,” said Laurie. “I'm sorry. I couldn’t sleep.”

“It was a horrible storm.” Mrs Carrol commented and everyone agreed. 

“You turned it yourself? We could have brought someone.” Mr. Nieriker offered. 

“No need. My mother taught me how to do it.” Laurie said. And the Nierikers shared an approving nod.

“Alright. It's good to have you here, Laurie. Come dine with us tonight.” The older man said, rising from the table. He had come to appreciate the boy. Besides, he proved to be an authentic mood boost for Amy. He was glad she looked happier, he knew how people changed around her after she rejected Fred. “It’s good to have another masculine presence at the table.” He said laughing with Mr. Carrol.

“Thank you, Mr. Nieriker.” 

“Alright, we’ll go. You kids have anything planned?”

“Not really,” Amy said, glancing at Flo and Laurie. 

“An exhibition of Japanese artifacts arrived yesterday.” Mrs. Nieriker commented.

“Sounds interesting. But it’s still cold outside and the paths are all muddy. Maybe tomorrow? Amy?” Flo mentioned.  


“Sure. I was planning on working on a canvas. But yes, tomorrow.”

“I need to change.” Said Laurie.

  
  
  


Preparing a canvas was no easy task, but she enjoyed doing it. She remembered her mother talking about the benefits of a good day of labor. She knew she was right. Nothing feels better than to earn a good rest after working hard. She extended the piece of cotton she bought and put it on the table under the stretchers. She made sure the wooden pieces were perfectly placed and fixed them with a few taps with a mallet. Then she measured the cloth, tearing it apart to discard the excess. Once that was done, Amy proceeded to nail the excess to the back of the frame, making sure that it was as stretched as possible. She adjusted the wedges to complete the process, tapping the canvas to check the results. Yes, it sounded like a drum. 

Next, the priming. Amy took her guesso and started applying all over the canvas. It needed to dry, so Amy went to work on the sketch in the meantime. She opened her sketchbook on a white page, the same sketchbook filled with drawings of knights in shining armor that may or may not look like Laurie. They didn't have a defined face, so we would never know. And just then, Laurie arrived.

“Here you go,” Amy handed him back the photo of his parents after greeting him.

“You’re done?”

“No, I’m just finishing preparing the canvas. But I made a sketch. I can use that.” She explained. She had changed to an old skirt and a simple shirt and her hair were on a simple french braid that let her long curls fall freely on her back. She wasn’t going to dress formally when she was going to be nailing and painting and getting her hands dirty. Laurie appreciated her natural look. He was grateful for it. He knew how much Amy cared about appearances, so letting him see her like this was proof of trust and familiarity. It was a rare privilege.

Four hours had already passed so Amy applied the next layer and that was it. She placed the canvas on the easel. Meanwhile, Laurie sat in his usual place: the piano and started playing a slow song which Amy silently enjoyed (Flo not so much).

“Can’t you play something a little more festive?” Flo asked after the third melody. She was right, the mood was getting a little depressive. 

“Ah, you want something more festive?” He asked sarcastically. “Mhm, how about this?” He said and started playing Johannes Brahms’s Hungarian Dance No. 5, much to Flo’s dismay. She rolled her eyes, cursing herself internally for even asking him something. 

“I should have seen it coming,” Flo said once he was done.

“Aww someone is sad because her _beau_ is not here with her?”

“Yeah, well at least I...”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. I thought you guys made peace!” Amy said, having ordered the studio and washing her hands and face. She sat next to Flo. 

“We did, but it’s so fun,” Flo admitted.

“Don’t you have any respect for tradition, Amy?” Laurie agreed and Amy just rolled her eyes. If they wanted to kill each other, that was their deal. 

* * *

Like they agreed, the next day they went to the exhibition Mrs. Nieriker mentioned. She was in the presiding chair of some fancy committee that arranged these kinds of exhibitions, as her brother had lived in Asia. They entered a large room with objects all over. A few people rounded the stands, some of them were more interested than others. They walked into the room looking around, asking questions about it. It was fascinating. They knew Americans were in Japan, but it sounded so far away. Then Amy saw something that got her attention and walked straight at it and Laurie followed her. It was a big piece of ceramic, almost half a meter. It was beautifully decorated, but what caught Amy's attention was the yellow lines that shone all around it. 

“Such a weird pattern.” Amy asked as they both looked at the piece of ceramic. 

“Kintsugi,” Said a person approaching them. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Kintsugi,” The man repeated, he had a kind face. “Golden joinery would be the closest to English.”

“This is gold?!” Amy kept asking. 

“This vase was made around the 1500s, but was broken a hundred years ago?” He explained and smiled when Amy and Laurie frowned. “In my culture, we don't throw away broken pottery nor do we try to hide it. Those scars are part of their history. Beauty is not perfection, we can also find it in flaws. Scars tell stories, they speak about the journey of the object. It would have been a very boring story if everything had gone well.” He said, showing them another bowl broken in two and holding each half in his hands. “What’s broken can be mended. And what better glue than gold.” He said joining the pieces. His words sounded like poetry. 

“That’s really beautiful,” Amy commented and Laurie looked at her puzzled. 

“Theodore Laurence!” They heard a man calling his name, interrupting the moment. 

“Elton Burke,” Laurie answered, shaking hands with the man. “Long time no see.”

“You’re the one who went to America and never came back.” He replied. “No, I’m kidding. I was very sorry to hear about your parents.”

“Thank you.” He answered and noticed Elton’s eyes going to Amy. “This is Amy March.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Amy answered politely. 

“Amy, come see this,” Flo called her and she excused herself, leaving the gentlemen alone. 

“She’s pretty,” Elton said, elbowing his friend. 

“Tell me, what are you doing here?” Laurie said, trying to ignore Elton’s remark.

“Ah, we wanted to spend the summer in Paris, but you know, things are not looking good there.” He said as they walked towards the girls. “Father preferred to spend time away and when you mentioned being here, I convinced them to come.”

“This is Florence Carrol and James Taylor.” Laurie proceeded to introduce them. 

“This is amazing, isn’t it?” James commented about the exhibition as they all walked out.

“It's great, but nothing can compare to the Paris Salon.” Now Elton's comments caught Amy’s attention.

“You saw the Salon of this year?” She was interested.

“Oh yes, very interesting selection. They let a few rebels get in again.”

“Don’t they have their own salon now?” She asked, letting out a certain discomfort.

“They do, but they try to get into this one, anyway. Don’t worry, they’re still a minority.”

“I heard Cabanel’s work was impressive.”

“ _ Morte de Francesca Rimini et de Paolo Malatesta _ ,” he said in perfect French. “I have to confess that I got goose-bumps looking at that painting. But the star of the Salon was Robert-Fleury.” Amy smiled. She loved to talk about art. Laurie was a good choice, but no one else from her small circle shared her passion for visual beauty. She could talk to her friends in Europe and Concord, but only through letters. 

Elton and Amy quickly engaged in their conversation. He talked to her about Jules Breton and Bouguereau and many other artists. And she didn’t shy about her opinions. Ever since Fred, she resolved to be always honest about her beliefs, though she maintained her prudence. Elton seemed to enjoy it just fine. (But then again, wasn't that how it started with Fred?) When Laurie didn’t present her as his fiancée, he thought he was crazy. But that also meant he could get a chance. The short time he got with her told him he needed to see her again. 

Laurie remained in silence as he observed the interactions between Elton and Amy, trying to remain cool. He knew his friend was good with women and he was still single. A lady like Amy was an attractive choice for him. Something in his gut made him feel sick. It was a feeling similar to when she was being courted by Fred Vaughn. But it wasn't quite the same. Back then, his opposition responded to an older-brother sort of affection. He was still aching for Jo. Ever since they were teens, he felt a responsibility towards her. His friends were all in love with her and he needed to protect her honor. But now it was different. Now Amy was a woman, and his privileged position in her life tumbled at the sight of Elton. They spent the rest of the day together.

When he returned to his place, he wasn't hungry. And he went to bed immediately, though he couldn't sleep. His mind kept going to Amy. For months he felt the need to visit her, and now that he was here he couldn't be happier. Jo advised him to open his heart to another lady. And he tried, really. But none of them seemed right for him. A few moments with Amy and he felt safe and right. Yes, this was his place! Sure his heart had been broken but didn't mean it had to remain like that forever. His wounds had become scars that told his story. But he had healed. Maybe Amy was the gold he needed. He was flawed, but the gold made his life beautiful. Laurie went to sleep satisfied with this realization. Next day he would go see Amy with new intentions. 

* * *

Laurie arrived at the villa before midday. He met Flo on the tea table outside. 

“Good morning, Laurie.” Flo said with a mischievous smile that confused Laurie. 

“Good morning, Flo.” He greeted her back. “Is Amy home?” He felt somewhat uncomfortable at Flo’s expression. 

“She’s in the drawing-room.”

“Right, what’s wrong with you?” He said getting a little annoyed at her way of smiling.

“Me? Nothing, I’m great.” She said maintaining that quizzical tone. Laurie found it so weird but preferred to go to Amy. He didn’t see Flo stretching her neck to see what was happening inside.

“Hello, Amy...”

“Laurie,” Elton said with a smile. Amy changed her composure from smiley to worried. She didn’t understand fully why she felt like she did something wrong, maybe it was because of Laurie’s face. Should she have not received Elton? But he had been such a gentleman to her, she couldn’t ignore him. Besides, it wasn't like she asked him to come.  


“Elton, what a surprise.”

“I was just paying a quick call to Amy, our conversation about the Paris Salon was very interesting last time.” He said turning back to Amy. “My father just acquired some beautiful works and since he can’t keep them in Paris, he’s bringing them here. I’d be delighted in taking you to see them.” 

“Sounds wonderful, Elton.” She said smiling back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. This chapter had a lot of scenes that I planned long ago, and just until now, I was able to include them in the story. 
> 
> The philosophy behind Kintsugi is one of the most beautiful things I've heard. 
> 
> I loved the book bonding scene in the 2019 film, and I think Amy deserved a scene like that. I tried to make it as historically accurate as possible, with the limited time I had for research old techniques. 
> 
> The paintings that Elton mentioned were really in the Salon of that year. 
> 
> The Brahms' piece that Laurie played to annoy Flo is in this video (7:53): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKrxesI3ziE&t=539s
> 
> I wish I could have made it longer, but I really wanted it to finish like this.


	8. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurie is not Amy's priority #1 and he doesn't like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I’m speechless at the amount of positive reviews I got from the last chapter. Truly, my heart warmed at your words. Even more because it contained some of my favorite scenes to write. Thank you!
> 
> Did anyone watch Downton Abbey? I think it’s during season 5 that Mary gets like 5 suitors. My sister and I had so much fun evaluating them and deciding who’s the lucky one. So that’s kind of an inspiration to this and maybe next chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you did last one.

**Vevay,** **Mid-June,** **1870**

Laurie should have known that a woman like Amy was very attractive to men. He definitely noticed it since they were in Concord. He rolled his eyes every time his friends ask him about Amy, especially Parker. His songs were so bad, he was glad he convinced him not to show them to her. He was the worst of all. Luckily, Amy never truly felt anything for the boy and when she left for Europe, he gave up. Back then, he felt a need to protect her honor as the youngest March girl. Now, it was different. Probably it was different since she was with Fred, but he tried to mask it under the “older brother” facade. Now he struggled to see her dancing with other men, to see her laughing with them or simply to see her near them. And it didn’t help his friends' insinuations and questions about why he didn’t sleep at the apartment the night of the storm.

Meanwhile, Amy worked on the portrait in her free time, which thanks to Elton, reduced considerably. After his visit that morning he had attached himself to the group, much to Laurie’s dismay. The rest of the people adored him, especially Amy. Laurie's friends got along pretty well with him. And what was not to love. He was decent, funny, charming, handsome, interesting, and a gentleman. And everyone could see plainly his attraction towards Amy. Flo was used to this, but she was surprised by Amy's response. From spending most of her time with Laurie, she started to dedicate much more time to Elton. She was intrigued by this situation. Never before had Laurie had to compete for Amy’s attention. During their time in Nice, Fred was in London, so he wasn’t a problem. And after rejecting Fred, she didn’t pay attention to anyone but Laurie’s letters. She was anxious to see how he was going to react. 

As promised, Elton sent an invitation for her and Florence to visit the art collection a couple of weeks later. He would have loved to have just her with him, but there were rules, very strict rules. It would have been too obvious and frankly too fast and intimidating for Amy to meet his father all by herself. He also invited Laurie, out of respect to their friendship. Although every day that passed he was surer that Laurie had more serious intentions towards Amy than he let on. His only question was why he didn’t make it official? He had no problem competing with him. Amy seemed very close to Laurie already, but he felt confident. 

On the day of the visit to Elton's, Amy woke up early to get ready. She chose one of her favorite skirts. The day was sunny so she went for a simple shirt. After breakfast they still had an hour before he arrived for her, so she went to work on the portrait. The basic structure was done. She had marked the limits with pencil lines and started to work on the facial features. The woman’s eyes were easy to define. They were the same ones as Laurie’s, which she knew very well. He had inherited those and the nose from his mother, but his tall and skinny complexion came from his father. The man showed a serious though warm countenance. His curly hair also came from the Laurence line. The pose they adopted was a formal one, common in portraits of this sort. But she could sense the love between them. Maybe it was something about the way his hand delicately held hers. They made a gorgeous couple, both attractive and elegant. It was no surprise Laurie looked the way he did. Maybe Aunt March was right, she read too many romantic novels. But what could she do when the boy looked like a classical Greek sculpture, his proportions were perfect!

“Hello, Amy,” Her thought process was interrupted by Laurie’s arrival.

“I thought you were arriving with Jonas to Elton's.”

“I was, but I wanted to see how the portrait was going.” Lie! He wanted to be there when Elton arrived. Something like “delimiting his territory” sort of thing. He wanted Elton to see him there. 

“Well, you can’t.”

“Why?”

“Not until it’s finished.”

“Please, miss Michelangelo,” he said playfully. Michelangelo never let anyone see his works until he was done, so he thought the nickname appropriate. 

“No,” Amy denied once more, but she gave him a smile for the nickname. “Besides, Elton will arrive soon.”

“How kind of him to pick you up.” He said annoyed. 

“I don’t know what you’re insinuating, but could you stop.”

“I’m just saying, he could be less obvious.”

"Don't start."

"What's wrong?" Flo asked, entertained by the situation. She heard them arguing in the painting room and couldn't help but ask about it. Luckily for her, they took their discussion to where she was.

"Laurie doesn’t like that _his_ friend invited me to see his art collection…." Amy said going back to the drawing-room to collect a book. 

"His father's art collection." He corrected her, making her roll her eyes. He followed her.

"He made advances towards me in the last few days. And I'm happy to discuss art with whoever is willing to hear. Besides, you're going too, aren’t you?" 

"He barely talks, you say most of it." 

"I think he's quite charming." Amy said. 

"His jokes are awful." 

"It made me laugh." She said walking back to the painting room. 

"No, it didn't. I've seen you laugh, you were just flirting."

“Maybe, I’m doing both.”

Unfortunately for Flo, James arrived to get her to Elton’s house. But before he interrupted the conversation, she grabbed his hand and guided him outside the house. He thought she wanted to leave the other two alone, but she took them just outside of the painting room. It had a window and it was open so she could hear them arguing. 

“Flo!” James said. He knew this behavior was very unladylike, but he didn’t make a big effort to take her away. 

“I just want to hear this.” She said. Their hands remained locked and none made a movement to separate. 

“I don’t understand, why are you so upset about it?! He's your friend, he came here for you!” Amy said frustrated. 

“Doesn't mean you have to flirt with him.”

"Oh please, like you didn't kiss half of my classroom!" 

“Wha...”

“You really think I’d never learn about it?”

“How in God’s name do you know that?!”

“Because they paraded with it like it was the great achievement of the year!” God, how she hated when Jenny Snow came to her telling her the big news. At first, she didn’t believe it, but then she heard about others and her heart broke a little bit. She knew her friends like Laurie, not as much as her, but they did. He conserved that European air, so attractive to young teenage girls. And when they got older and assisted at balls and parties, well they didn’t waste time. Technically, a lot of people did it. God knows Parker begged her for a year for one tiny kiss. But being Marmee’s daughter she refused. 

"That… That was a long time ago. I’m talking about now. You like this, you love having men following you around." 

So what?!”

“What game are you playing?”

“The same as yours! Actually it’s the same game we’ve been playing since we were teenagers. Although it is not entirely a game for me now. My future is on the line.”

“You think your future is with Elton? God, I can’t believe I’m saying this but maybe you should go back to Fred.”

“Leave him out of this!”

“You said you didn’t love Fred, and now you're in the same place!”

“Oh you’re such a moral compass, aren’t you? Honestly, it’s a miracle you haven’t gotten a love-child.”

“You think of him as a worthy suitor?”

“Elton is American. He’s been living in Europe more time, but he has an estate in Connecticut and he’s been working for some time...”

“Forget about his properties. You don’t love him!”

"Well, I haven't had much time with him. I’m trying to remedy that. I still believe we have some power over who we love. It isn't something that just happened to a person. Last time, I didn’t even try." She was quite annoyed at Laurie's remarks. She wanted to remind him of what happened when he tried to marry the woman he loved, but she refrained from doing it. It would be too low to use Jo against him just to win an argument. She already made a fool of herself in Valrosa, she wasn’t going to do it again.

"I think the poets might disagree." 

Amy rolled her eyes. Once again, Laurie was judging her and thought she was a mere gold digger. She tried to ignore it, just like she did whenever her sisters called her vain. She told herself that she didn't need to justify her choices to anyone. But she cared about what Laurie thought of her. Somehow she was able to brush off everyone else’s comments, but his remained. She wanted him to like her. She tried to fight against it, but she couldn't help it. She needed to make him understand why she was doing it. 

"Well, I'm not a poet. I'm just a woman. And as a woman, there is no way for me to get my own money. Not enough to earn a living or to support my family. And if I had my own money, which I don’t, that money would belong to my husband the moment we get married. And if we have children, they would be his, not mine. They would be his property. So don’t sit there and tell me that marriage isn’t an economic proposition because it is. Maybe not for you but it certainly is for me." She said walking towards him until they were a couple of steps apart.

Laurie listened to her reply and even felt guilty for even thinking she was thirsty for money or in any way similar to the annoying ladies of society. He saw her walking towards him with a firm walk. She was doing it for her family, for her future, because there was no other option. She had thought about everything. Her kids would not even be hers, that was true. It was one thing he learned at college through one of his friends who was specializing in marital law, now that divorces were more common and expected to increase in number. _Not only your kids_ , he thought. Also, she was going to be property. It was true that he was privileged in that respect. Thanks to his grandfather's wealth and his, he could choose any woman he liked. That's why his grandfather hadn't opposed his intention to make Jo his wife, besides the fact that he loved the Marches. And he knew how struggling life was for Meg and John. But regardless of all that, she deserved better than to sacrifice herself to satisfy her family’s needs.

Before Laurie could respond to that, they heard the carriage approaching. “That’s him.” She said trying to undo the apron. "Can you unbutton me, please?" She said, turning around for him. He stood close to her and began unbuttoning the apron one by one. He looked at her and suddenly he felt something different. This was not Jo's little sister anymore. As he undid the last one, he noticed the lace areas on her blouse. He could see her corset and the skin underneath on her upper back. 

Amy had to make an effort to even her breathing. The word she spoke came out like a flash. She wasn’t planning on saying them, but she was unable to remain quiet. She just had to say it to someone. She felt his eyes watching her from behind. This was not a position in which she would have liked anyone to see them. He was too close, and why was he taking so long?!

As soon as she felt the apron loosening, she pulled it and he untied it. She walked across the room to leave the apron and grab a cape. Laurie followed her and took his coat. 

"How do I look? Do I look alright?" She was anxious. He could see she wanted to make a good impression on Elton. The cape had a complex embroidery that contrasted with her plain blue skirt. 

"You look beautiful." Laurie said as a reflex without even looking at her. But then he stopped for a second and really paid attention to her. God, she was beautiful! Amy was still looking at him as if she noticed he only said that as a courtesy. So he added without thinking, "You _are_ beautiful". This time she blushed and smiled, which only made her look more beautiful. She felt a shiver running through her body, Laurie nervously smiled back. That smile told Amy that the Laurie she knew and loved was still there. But now she had to go. 

* * *

“Good evening, you look lovely!” Elton said walking towards her. Laurie observed from inside the house as Amy greeted him with a kiss on each cheek. He helped her get into the carriage. “Ready?”

“Sure. Thank you so much for this.”

“It’s my pleasure. You’re going to love this. Father was able to acquire some American paintings last time.”

Laurie stayed in the room for a few minutes. He felt so close to Amy at that moment. He was sure she could feel his breathing on her neck. It was so strange. He had had much more intense encounters with women. He went all the way with most of them. And yet, this tiny moment with Amy felt more intimate than all of them together. And then she blushed when he called her beautiful, so maybe that was something. He was sure she liked to have him around. Her letters were proof of that. And he noticed people around her saw them and smiled. 

“Laurie, we’re leaving already. Do you want to come with us?” James called him. 

“Sure,” he adjusted his jacket and walked out of the room. 

“Aww, someone is sad because he doesn’t monopolize Amy’s time anymore?” Flo teased him and James only shook his head.

Before seeing the masterpieces, the Burkes offered an evening in the gardens. It was a gorgeous state. Not as big as the Nieriker’s, but their gardener had done a wonderful job. And Elton walked with Amy, enchanting her with the story of the place and who had lived here. He was a very cultured man and it showed. 

Elton invited a couple of friends from school, who also knew Laurie. Smart move to keep him occupied, especially when one of them had grown up to be a beautiful woman. He barely remembered her. She was the sister of one of his schoolmates, a year younger than them. She only saw her at the end of the academic year. Regardless, any other time he would have fallen into the trap. 

“Do people still call you Laurie?” Ask Elias. 

"It's better than the nickname you got me," 

"I liked it. Theodora!" He said playfully. l

"Shut up," Laurie answered laughing. Elton's plan partially worked, for he distracted himself with those old friends. Just every now and then he stole a glance at Amy.

Elton was right, his father was able to collect a beautiful amount of paintings. Mr. Burke was delighted to have Amy in his house. Americans were always welcome in his property, even more, one that looked as lovely as her and was interested in art.

“Elton tells me you’re passionate about art.” The middle-aged man said kindly.

“I am, I took classes in London and Paris.”

“There was a moment when I was just a child, when I thought about becoming a painter. My parents were patrons, and the house was frequently visited by artists in search of a commission.” He said looking at his paintings. “But, they made me go into law. So, I decided to spend my wealth on getting the best art collection I could get. My wife also adores art and she helps me decide.”

“You’ve certainly achieved a fine set of paintings, Mr. Burke.” The gentleman retired, leaving them alone, not without throwing an approving look at his son. Amy continued looking around, she loved the big sized pieces, like everyone else. But she was also attracted to the small still lifes and flower paintings. It was generally seen as lesser themes in art history, but she didn’t agree. It required as much skill to paint a vase of flowers as a Biblical scene. Maybe it was because as a woman she was restricted to paint those, but she discovered pleasure in doing them. She felt so proud of her little canvases full of vases with flowers and horses and small domestic scenes she had made.

“Here, these just came from America,” Elton pointed out to three landscapes and placed his hand on her back. 

“They’re breathtaking. I wish I could be in those places.” Indeed they were. As the army moved westward, they came back marveled at the natural sights they encountered. Many American artists travel to print those landscapes. Now they were very popular in Europe. 

“I know. Watching these paintings make me miss America.”

Laurie wanted to see the paintings, really. But he couldn’t help but look at Amy and Elton’s direction constantly. He watched Amy listening to him attentively. She was enjoying it. As annoying as it was, he had to accept that he was jealous of the time Amy was dedicating to Elton, especially because it was time she usually spent with him. 

* * *

“Are you courting Amy?” Elton asked seriously while they played cards.

“What?” Laurie reacted confused.

“Your face when you saw me with her… You didn’t say anything when you presented her to me.”

“We’ve been spending time together since Christmas.” He said. He could have lied but eventually, the truth would have come out and it would have been worse. Besides, it was always the gentleman thing to do to let the lady define the limits of their relationship. “We’ve known each other since we’re kids. We’re rather close.” But his answer also let his friend know that he was interested.

“But you’d like to?”

“Maybe, yes.”

“I’m going, to be honest. I like her. And I’ve been alone enough time, I want to settle. I have everything I want, except for a family. The little time I’ve spent with her tells me she’s special.” He said rising. “So, what if we let her choose.” He offered Laurie his hand. “May the best man win.” Laurie smiled at his friend's comments. But after a couple of seconds, he accepted the handshake. 

* * *

Laurie took Elton’s remarks seriously. So next afternoon, he went to look for her. He knew she wasn’t at home, but at Church. Those were the little but significant details he could use in his favor. The whole family usually went to Sunday service together, but Amy stayed afterward to keep praying. Even if her family refused to call her, she could feel something was wrong. Why else would Jo return home? 

“Hey!” Laurie whispered.

“Since when do you come to Church?” Amy said as Laurie sat beside her. 

“Eternal damnation does sound like a fate I’d like to avoid.” He said. 

“The purpose of coming to Church is to be close to God, not far away from the devil”

“It’s the same.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s quite different actually.”

“Maybe,” he looked down and saw her holding something on her right hand. “Does Aunt Carol know that you use a rosary?”

“No.”

“My mother used to have one of those.” He said looking seriously in front of the Church. Amy didn’t know what to say. She was grateful and touched by his openness to her. But Laurie’s parents were still a delicate issue. Laurie sensed her inability to respond and he proceeded. “She was Italian, so...” He said as an explanation to her mother’s religion. “I think that’s one of the things that made my grandfather hate her so much.”

“I’m sure he changed his mind.” She tried to say something comforting. 

“I never cared for Church much, coming to America. My parents used to have discussions on it. My mother gave in and allowed a Protestant education, but she didn’t have time to talk to me about the Catholic faith when I grew up.” He said with his head down. “How do you manage both?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call myself a Catholic by any means, but the rosary helps me pray. I used to watch Estelle pray every day, she seemed so peaceful afterward. She gave it to me when I stayed at Plumfield while Beth was sick. I don’t believe you’re supposed to take everything literally. Many of the words are metaphors and moral lessons don’t mean that it happened exactly like that. Marmee knows that I use it and she had no problem with it. She must have told Father and hasn't told me anything against it, so I guess I have their permission.” She explained. Laurie was listening to her, but his head was still down and melancholic. So she tried to comfort him. “I don't believe it matters if she was Catholic and him Protestant. To believe that one set of people are going to hell just because they attended another church is to say that Estelle or your mother are in hell because of that...it’s ridiculous. In the end, we all believe in God and that’s what matters. We’re better people because of that. I’m sure they’re both together in heaven. And they take care of you.”

“Do you think they see me as the bad person I’ve been?” Amy looked at him confused as he finally turned to look at her. He gave her a look, telling her _you told me that I was._

“I never thought you were a bad person, just that you’ve lost your way.”

“Well, I don’t think any less of you just because Elton likes you and you like him. He's actually a good guy.”

“I’m just enjoying my time here. Part of me wants to believe that this time it will be different. He likes that I’m a painter.”

“He does. But please, don’t talk anymore about economic propositions. Your family is an example to everyone in Concord. And they would gladly accept your fiancée because you love him even if he were poor.”

“I know. I was blessed with the family I was born into. And I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m not asking them to change who they are either. But I’ll feel better hearing their moral remarks with certainty that they’ll have food every day on their plates. And I’m so sick of being poor! I hate to have old things, to ask for discounts all the time. I hate that people notice I’m wearing hand-me-downs. I’m so ashamed for telling you about my dress on Christmas day! I have to be nice and smile because that’s all I can offer. I can’t bear it any longer. I'm not like Jo, I can't brush off people's comments easily.” Amy breathed slowly to calm herself down. “I may never have a love story like Meg’s or Marmee’s and I won’t be able to pursue my art like Jo, but I’ll have more agency than them. I’ll use the money for good and it will have to be enough.” 

“People don’t only see that, Amy. I’ve heard wonderful things about you from other people. In fact, a lot of them like you, really. They think Fred lost a good match. And I’d say he would have married up.”

“Be honest with me on this, would you? How many times did the word ‘poor’ surface when you were hearing all those wonderful things from people?” Laurie looked down in silence, knowing Amy was right. “That’s what I thought. I just want a better life. I’m not 16 anymore, Laurie. I’m being careful. You can drop the big brother facade, I can take care of myself.”

"You really like him?" 

"I do. He's sweet. And you're right, I do like to be courted. Is that so wrong?"

"No, of course not. But just for the record, Elton jokes are really bad." 

"For the record, Jenny Snow only kissed you to upset me." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I included Greta's speech. It was hard to find it a place. 
> 
> I think Amy’s religious beliefs are so interesting. Her contact with Esther approximates her to the Catholic faith, even using a rosary in her little chapel. I don’t know why anyone hasn’t explored this side of her at all. And religion helps her grow and become a better person, very well shown in the Chesters art fair. Like Jo needed Marmee to help her control her temper, but Amy learned to do that by herself, by reading the Bible. 
> 
> Also, Laurie’s parents are barely explored in the novel, and even less in adaptations. Especially his mother. I wish Louisa would have written a chapter of Laurie’s life before coming to America. I took creative liberties and made his mother a Catholic, because she was Italian and that’s the predominant religion. And because it establishes another connection with Amy.


	9. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve reached the middle point of the story!!! I’m so happy and so thankful to all of you for having followed this story until now. The title must tell you what to expect. 
> 
> This is a shorter chapter, but I didn’t have anything more to add and I really wanted it to end like this.

**Vevay, August 1870**

"Do you have plans today?" Flo asked as they left the table. 

"I was finishing the portrait. You?”

“James is gone for the week. He’s going to his parents, maybe they’ll visit us soon.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Not that much. The Taylors are good friends.”

“I’m sure they love you already.” Flo blushed. 

“What about you? No Elton today?”

“He needs to help his father with some issues at the office.”

“And Laurie?”

“I don’t know. He said something about going with his friends to a concert.”

“Great, so it’s just us. It’s good to be away from the boys for a while. What do you want to do?”

“Rest,” Flo laughed at Amy’s suggestion. Courtship was tiresome. It was fun, but it could become stressful, especially when you had more than one suitor. Because of course, Flo was counting Laurie as another suitor, even if Amy refused to see him as such.

The day was beautiful so they went out and laid on the balustrade, eating apples. They were resting from boys, but Flo couldn’t keep herself from asking about them. “Can I ask you something?”

“Hmm,” Amy said, keeping her eyes closed.

“Do you think Elton might be the one?”

“Why is everyone so obsessed with that? It took you what? A day to know you’ll marry James. Nobody was bugging you or talking about it.”

“Well, I didn’t have suitors everywhere I went. Which was fun, I’m not judging. But it makes the decision more difficult, doesn’t it?”

“I’m glad my life entertained you.”

“No, but seriously. How many there were, like 10?”

“That’s such an exaggeration!”

“Let’s see... The first one was Mr. Lennox.”

“I will throw this apple on your face.”

“Too old and no hair. Next has to be Fred, right?”

“Don’t talk about him, I still feel bad about that.”

“He was nice, but I’ll give this to Laurie, he had no sense of humor. Uh, what about Count Vladimir?”

“Jesus Christ, Flo!”

“Good looking, a little short for my taste, terrible dancer.” At this, Amy did laugh because it was true. 

“I liked his accent,” Amy admitted.

“Mmm… I think the next one was Elton.”

“See? And you had counted 10. You’re crazy.”

“Well, I was counting the ones you left in Concord  ( ~~and Laurie~~ ). Didn’t you have that whole feud with May Chester because of Tudor?”

“Ugh, don’t even remind me about that. Kate says she is engaged to be married next month, and Jenny married last winter.”

_ Concord, 1867 _

_ “Meg, what do you think about this?” Amy showed her sisters a sketch of a flower arrangement. The youngest March sister seemed to be the most excited one at the organization. Even when Meg clarified it was going to be simple, Meg had been like a second mom to her, so she wanted to make everything as pretty as possible for her.  _

_ “They’re beautiful Amy,” _

_ “Do you wish you’d have more suitors?” Beth asked. _

_ “But I did have some. And even if I hadn’t, I’m happy I found John so fast.” _

_ “You don’t need scores of suitors. You only need one, if he’s the right one.” Amy interrupted. Her sisters laughed. _

_ “Says the girl with scores of suitors behind her,” Beth pointed out. _

_ “Those are not suitors, Beth. I’m too young to have them.” _

_ “Well, then can you tell them please not to appear every time we go into town.” _

_ “Laurie brings them!” _

_ “Beth is right, Amy. You enjoy this way too much. Marmee doesn’t like us flirting.” Meg said. _

_ “I'm just being nice to them.” Her sisters laughed at that. “What?! It’s the only power that I have, let me enjoy it. And besides, we’re just having a good time. Once school is done, they’ll go back to their places.” _

_ “I don’t know Amy. Laurie said Parker is really invested.” _

_ “Yeah, that one got a little out of hand. I’ll fix it.” _

_ “Good, because we really need peace here. This family cannot handle another wedding!” _

**Vevay, 1870**

It had been a terrible coincidence that on the day that Elton wasn’t going to be able to see Amy, he had agreed on going out with his friends. So when Amy sent him a note, inviting him to come, he didn’t waste time. He got his best suit and went to meet her. 

“Hi,” Amy smiled at him. 

“Hi, you called?”

“I have something for you.” She said walking towards the studio and he followed her. 

“You finished it?!” He said excitedly.

“You have to promise to be honest. If there’s something you’d like to change, you can tell me. I won’t get offended.” She said, internally hoping he would like it. She had dedicated a lot of time and work to it and she was happy with the result. 

“I promise,” He said and she let him see the finished work. It was truly beautiful. Amy was a very talented painter, genius didn’t matter when she could put humanity on canvas. He knew it had been the right choice when he asked her to do this. He had to admit that upon seeing his parents’ portrait, he felt a melancholic feeling in his gut. He really missed them. 

“It’s perfect, Amy.” He said getting closer to see the details. 

“Really?”

“You did an amazing job, I knew it should be you the one who painted this portrait.”

“Thank you,” she blushed. 

“Where’s your signature?”

“No, no.” She refused. This was not just any painting, this was his parent’s portrait. She wasn’t going to put her ego before that, even if she herself loved how well she accomplished it. 

“Well then, wait for more of my commissions,” She laughed at his comment. He looked at her. She looked even more beautiful when she blushed. He helped her put the portrait on a box so he could take it. He cleared his throat and stepped back. Damn, he really had fallen for her. 

“Amy, can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” she said relaxed. 

“Listen, I was thinking...I know you have been busy with Elton, but I was wondering if...”

“I knew I heard voices coming from here.” Mrs. Carrol appeared. Why is it that people know exactly when to interrupt an important conversation? 

“Good evening, Mrs. Carrol.”

“Good evening, Laurie. It’s good you’re here.”

“Something happened, Aunt Carrol?”

“The Taylors are coming, and Ellis and I thought about offering a ball. Summer is about to end and we’d like to have a party before people have to go. Of course, Laurie you are more than invited and so are your friends.”,

“Thank you. Sounds wonderful.”

“Alright, we’ll send the invitations in the next few days. Amy, dear, maybe you and Flo can help organize it. It’s time you both learn how these things are done.”

“Of course,” Amy's eyes illuminated. She always loved parties and adored organizing events. 

* * *

It’s been a while since they had attended a ball. The biggest one had been on Christmas. After that, they attended a few parties here and there. The last had been at the beginning of the summer when everyone arrived. So this was a nice way of saying goodbye. Flo and Amy had been in charge of everything, with the supervision of the older women, of course. But in the end, they would hold partial credit for it. Flo didn’t get as excited in party planning as Amy usually did, but this time she wanted everything to be perfect because she wanted to impress the Taylors. Although Amy was right, they were already in love with her. 

On the day of the ball, Laurie got perfectly dressed and perfumed. Since the day when Mrs. Carrol interrupted, he decided it was better to wait. Last time, with Jo, he had been too impatient and impulsive. He was desperate and forced her to hear his chaotic proposal. No wonder why she didn’t even need to think about it. Other than the fact that she didn't and wouldn’t love him in that way, he really messed everything up. Now, he wanted to do things differently. He wanted to do a proper courtship, plan a real proposal and a wedding. He had a lot of advantages, having known Amy since they were children. He knew her better than most people. He could even find himself lucky for knowing things not even his sisters knew about her. That’s why he decided to make his intentions clear tonight. She may not drop Elton for him, but at least she would be aware of his intentions. It should work out perfectly. He knew she also liked him. Not a lot of people made Amy blush, and he was one of the lucky ones. He also had noticed how her breathing changed when he got too close, like on the day of the painting room, when he undid the apron. Even more, his heart got full when he saw she still wore the ebony cross he gifted her so many years ago. 

He couldn’t be entirely sure of Amy’s feelings, but there was something there, something that went beyond simple friendship, something he never felt with Jo. There was some sense of attraction that he had never felt with anyone else. He thought  _ this is true love.  _ Confident and enthusiastic, he climbed up the carriage that was taking him and his friends to the ball. 

When he arrived, Amy was already there chatting and laughing with a few friends. Most people couldn’t escape her charm, she knew exactly what to say, and when to say it. He guessed the education she got from Aunt March proved to be more than fruitful. That mixed with the March kindness gave her an advantage. And he loved it. He thought back to when Jo rejected him. She knew him better than he knew himself. She was never going to play the part of a wife like he would have liked, which was fine for her, but it wasn't what he wanted. Despite spending so much time with Jo, he still enjoyed going to parties, dancing, and socializing. She had been right. With time, they would have grown frustrated and angry at each other, until one day they hated the other. Knowing Jo, she wouldn’t be against a divorce. 

“Laurie!” He was called by the young men and began making conversation. A few minutes later, the attendants were invited to the room. It was elegantly decorated with beautiful flower arrangements. The girls did a great job. Mrs. Nieriker thanked everyone and invited them to enjoy themselves before the musicians started playing. 

Laurie wanted to have the first dance with her but arrived too late. Of course, Elton asked for it since he arrived, much to Laurie’s dismay. Actually, her dance card was partially full. He should have known this would happen. He was surprised when at the Christmas ball she danced almost all night. Men seemed to fight for a place in her dance card. He vaguely remembered other girls back in Concord feeling jealous at the attention Amy received as a teenager. She usually was in those conversations men always have about girls. They like her, she had something that differentiates her from most girls in town. She was refined, polite, and pretty, but she was also kind and open. Some did have a few problems with her family. Not even the anti-abolitionist of Concord approved totally what her father did. He tried to defend her and the family but it didn’t always work. And a few find her economic status troubling. For some it was an advantage, seeing as no state also meant she could ask for much. 

The ball continued and Laurie still hadn’t danced with Amy. It might sound childish, but he got used to being her first partner in the parties in Concord. He danced with a few ladies in the meantime, just as friends. But now she was not on the dance floor anymore. He found her resting in the corner. 

“Hi,” She greeted him with a smile. 

“You’ve been busy! Does your dance card have space for me?”

“Of course! I just need to rest a couple of minutes.”

“You did a great job. The ball looks beautiful.”

“Give credit to Flo, please. She did half of it.”

“Here you are!” Mrs. Nieriker approached. “What happened, everyone is sitting! This is supposed to be a ball.”

“I’m ready now,” Amy answered. Mrs. Nieriker smiled and left them. 

“Is the next dance taken?”

“No.” She said, taking his hand. They walked to meet the rest of the couples. They ended up dancing a waltz, polka, scottiche, mazurka. They were having so much fun! And people noticed, Elton noticed. He saw her hand on his shoulder and his on her waist as they danced the waltz, and he saw their eyes locked in each other. He saw the way she laughed when he twirled her in the polka. He was determined unless Amy ended their courtship, he wouldn’t let Laurie win so easily. 

“What a wonderful dancer you are!”

“Thank you, Miss Taylor,” Amy said.

“And I see you also have a couple of suitors. I hope they’re making it hard for you to choose. Oh here’s one!” She pointed out when Laurie approached the group. “You two make a handsome couple.” He kindly nodded at Mrs. Taylor, who he met while Amy was dancing with Elton. 

“Oh, no. Laurie is just a friend,” Amy quickly corrected, blushing at the idea. “We are neighbors back in Concord, we’ve known each other since we’re kids. Right?” She turned to Laurie. Mrs. Taylor must have seen Laurie’s reaction, because she got embarrassed. She smiled, not knowing what to say. She looked at Laurie and then at Amy. She was so confused, the way they danced, she had been sure they were courting. 

“Right,” he answered with as much pride as the situation allowed him. 

“Well, my mistake. I’ll go find my husband. Excuse me.” The air was filled with tension. Laurie also excused himself and Amy was left standing alone. What just happened? However, a friend called her and she was distracted for a while. 

Laurie made his way to the back garden as fast as he could without making a scene. He needed air. Suddenly the memory of his last attempt at proposing came back to him, and with it the desperation he felt that day on the hill. Amy’s comment felt like a knife in his heart. She saw him as a mere friend! How could this be happening to him AGAIN! According to her, the only suitor she had was Elton. It didn’t matter all the attention he put on her, nor all the moments that they shared since they were children, nor the letters. It was all in vain. Maybe he was cursed. Maybe there was really something fundamentally wrong with him and he was destined to be rejected. At least, Jo had been right. But this felt different, he was sure that this time it would work out. He didn’t understand what was so wrong with him. He thought he was a good man, not perfect but he had worked hard to be better. Was it because all he did after Jo rejected him? Did he ruin his reputation beyond repair? Was it his Italian roots? All he knew is that he couldn’t go through another heartbreak again. The last one nearly destroyed him, this one would kill him. 

He didn’t know how much time he was out there, but it was enough for Amy to notice his absence. She looked around but she couldn’t find him. Their conversation with Mrs. Taylor had been weird and she felt they had to talk about it. She had to admit she liked that people saw them as a nice couple, but she knew he didn’t see her as such. If they would have known Laurie before, they would have understood why. So before people continue making assumptions, she jumped right in to correct them. 

At last, she saw a figure through the window, in the garden all by himself. She excused herself and went to meet him.

“Laurie!” Amy exclaimed. Yet Laurie looked at her more upset than anything and Amy was able to sense it. “Something wrong?”

Laurie looked away for a few seconds before turning to her. “Why did you react like that at Mrs. Taylor's remarks?”

“What? Laurie, she thought we were courting. I just told her we have been friends since childhood.”

“A little too emphatic, I’d say!” He said turning away again.

“Are you angry at me?” Amy questioned him. “I told her the truth...”

“Would it be so awful if she was right?” He blurted it out. Maybe Amy was right, he did have a tendency of letting his feelings explode. 

Amy looked at him puzzled. Is he implying what she thinks he is implying? Or is it just her mind playing tricks with her. She let out a sign smiling, incredulously. But Laurie’s eyes looked at her seriously and her expression straightened too. She now understood what he meant. “No.” She repeated anxiously.

“Amy...” He said reaching for her cheek. But before he could, Amy brushed him off, taking a couple of steps backward. “No, no.” She kept repeating.

“Yes,” Laurie tried to close the gap by walking towards her. Amy looked more frightened than anything. 

“Laurie, you’re being mean! Stop, stop it!” Now she said it angrily.

“Please, don’t make me go through this again.” Laurie pleaded with his head low, in a begging tone of someone who does not want to be hurt again. It wasn’t easy for him to open his heart again, but he did it for her because he thought it was safe. In another context that voice would have cracked Amy, but not this time. Now, his plea only worsened the situation.

“You don’t want to go through what again?!” She said harshly, although she knew perfectly what he meant. He didn’t want to be rejected a second time. He didn’t want to go through the shame and pain that a failed proposal brought. A man can be rejected once, but twice! But what about her? He didn’t want to go through that again? Well, she neither. “Because, I have been second to Jo my whole life, in everything! And I will not be the person you settle for, just because you cannot have her…” No, no, no, this is not like that! Laurie listened to Amy, realizing that as painful as this was for him, Amy was aching, too. But why? He thought she liked him. And now she thought this was because of Jo. What he did not expect were Amy’s following words that left him speechless. “I won’t, I won’t do it...” Amy had to stop, but somehow she could contain herself any longer. “I won’t, not when I’ve spent my entire life loving you!” And with that, she knew she had to go before Laurie got out of his trance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was sorry to discover that the phrase: "You don’t need scores of suitors. You only need one, if he’s the right one" is only from the 1994 adaptation. I love it, it's such an Amy thing to say!
> 
> I would love to hear your theories on next chapter. I have the general idea of what will happen, but maybe you give an idea I haven't thought about it.


	10. Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update! I hope you like it. 
> 
> I know that a lot of you asked me to keep Laurie close to Amy, but I actually had planned to pull them apart one last time. 
> 
> It's not the happiest chapter, and I doubt it's going to be the saddest.

Three days after the ball, Amy still couldn’t sleep. She went to bed, but her mind kept spiraling at the events. She felt stupid and angry. How could Laurie think that she would want him to settle with her? And why did she have to open her mouth? Now Laurie would tell Jo and the whole family would know and they would pity her and laugh at her. Regret, regret, regret. 

Flo noticed something at the ball, but Amy insisted on acting as if nothing was wrong. But she could see it was false. She hadn’t seen Laurie since that awkward conversation with Mrs. Taylor. Her future mother-in-law had been so embarrassed. She went and told her what happened and Flo tried to comfort her, but she also felt bad for Laurie. Regardless, Amy kept silent. She acted normally, although her eyes looked tired and she remained at home. The adults didn’t seem to notice much or at least they never mentioned it. Mrs. Carrol was busy with her friend and they took James and Flo out, so that distracted them. 

When everyone was busy with other things, Amy went to see some friends at the stables.

“Hello, dear,” Amy said affectionately to the black stallion. The horse greeted her with joy. He recognized her, of course. She practically went to visit him every day and often she would take him for a ride. The horse began to move his head pointing at the reins. “I know, handsome. I promise tomorrow I’ll take you out.”

Laurie was no better. Amy’s confession had made him rethink their whole friendship. All this time, she had been in love with him! How could he have been so blind! Maybe he could have noticed something, but he was so focused on Jo, he didn’t pay attention. And then when they grew up and he brought his friends, it seemed like Amy liked to hang out with them. He continued remembering things; all the times he danced with her and their flirtatious exchanges. Suddenly a conversation she had with Jo came back to him.

_ ‘Mother doesn’t approve of flirting even in fun, and you do flirt desperately, Teddy.’ _

_ ‘I’d give anything if I could answer, ‘So do you’. As I can’t, I’ll merely say that I don’t see any harm in that pleasant little game, if all parties understand that it’s only play.’ _

He thought Amy and him were in the same game, but he had been wrong. For Amy, it meant much more. He went back and forth in his room, to the door and back. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to talk to her, but he feared she would reject him again. The way he looked at him, she was scared. And then there was the issue of his “settling”. He could go and tell her that she was wrong, that he truly had grown to love her deeply, deeper than anyone before. That this was not a matter of settling but of realizing what true love is. He could tell her that those moments they shared had been the happiest he had been in a year. 

And then he had the issue of work. His grandfather had been communicating with him, telling him about work duties. He knew he had to go back. He wanted to go and work, but how could he leave like this. Somehow he got convinced that Amy wasn’t going to believe his speech. So he set out to prove himself that he could be a useful man before he could be worthy of a woman like Amy. And then he would come back for her. 

The next afternoon he walked to the Nierikers’ residence. However, the nearer he got, the more nervous he got. What if she rejected him again? He decided to beg for her forgiveness before attempting anything else. First, he needed to win her friendship back, the rest could wait. 

"Good evening, Mrs. Carrol," said Laurie, "Good evening, boy. We have missed you. Amy is not here." She said, knowing Amy was the only reason he would visit her. 

"Oh, she isn't?" 

"She went riding," Flo said.

"I see.” He said disappointed. “Well, I won't be here for long," Aunt March stopped drinking from the teacup to look at him. "I’m going to London. My grandfather has been there for a while and I told him I want to start working on the business. I start next week.” 

"Mhmm" Aunt Carrol nodded in understanding. “Good for you. I have to go. Good luck, Laurie, we’re going to miss you.”

“She’ll be back any minute,” Flo said once her mother was gone.

“My train leaves in an hour,” Laurie replied quickly. "Could you...could you just give Amy this," he handed her a note. "Tell her I'm sorry." He looked nervous, like he wanted to say more but couldn't. What does Amy have to forgive? 

“What’s going on?”

“Just tell her I had to go.”

Not twenty minutes had passed, when she heard Amy walking in. 

"Hello, Flo." Her voice had some mix of fear and excitement. “I missed riding, I need a bath. What is it?” She asked when she noticed Flo was worried.

"Laurie was just here."

"He was?" Amy asked.

"He said he needed to go. To London." She looked at Amy's face beginning to crack. "He left you this," she said, giving the note. He watched Amy reading the small piece of paper. 

_ Dear Amy,  _

_ I’m deeply sorry for what I said. Please forgive me. I have gone to make something of myself, so you might not be ashamed of calling me your friend _ .

_ Yours, Laurie. _

Amy looked at the note with disbelief. So now he wanted to be a better person, wow. Well, at least he was finally going to work. What hurt Amy the most was the word friend. He wanted to be her friend?!? What was he playing at? Yes, she rejected him, even before he got a chance to say anything, but still, it felt like a bucket of frozen water. And he felt sorry for what he said, what did that mean, that he regretted it? She exhaled and closed her hand into a fist crumpling the paper. Flo watched her attentively. Amy was trying to hide it, but her cousin could see she was hurting. 

“Amy?” 

“He’s going back to work,” Amy finally said. 

“Alright...isn’t that what you wanted?” Flo asked dubiously. Amy did love having him there, but she also had mentioned a couple of times about how he should start to really work. 

“No, it’s great, it is!” She reaffirmed, but her voice betrayed her. “He’s finally doing something. I really have to change.” Amy said and hurried to her room. 

Amy entered her room and as soon as she closed the door she let all those tears she had been holding finally come out. God, how much she wished Jo had been right when she called her ‘heartless’, that would have made everything much easier. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. It was as if her heart was literally breaking because she felt actual physical pain.

  
  


The next day, Amy opened her eyes slowly and noticed Flo sitting close by.

“Good morning, or evening I guess,” Flo answered from the chair where she was reading the last number of  _ La Mode Illustrée.  _

“What time is it?” Amy asked, alarmed. It didn’t feel like it was morning. 

“Past noon.” She approached to offer Amy tea. “What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been sleeping lately.”

“Yes, I noticed that. I also noticed it began after the night of the ball.” Amy hid her face between her legs. 

“Weren’t you supposed to meet James today?”

“Don’t worry about that. I explained it to him and he agreed that I should stay with you.”

“I’m so tired.”

Flo let her rest a little more, after convincing her that she could go write letters and do her own things. After a couple of hours of sulking, Amy finally made her way to the bathtub. She got dressed in a simple white dress and didn’t bother putting on the bustle. She just braided her hair in a simple way. Walking around the room, she saw a figure walking towards the house. It was Elton. 

“Oh God,”

“What?” Flo asked worriedly.

“It’s Elton,” They heard the door opening and Elton talking with the maid. “I can’t talk to him.”

“What?!”

“I can’t! Look at me!” 

“Amy!”

“Please, please. Just tell him I’m sick, whatever.”

“Wha...” Flo tried to argue against it, but Amy pushed her out of the room. 

“Elton,” Flo greeted him at the drawing-room.

“Good evening, Florence.”

“Are you here for Amy?” Flo said fearing the answer.

“Yes. We haven’t seen her this week. Is she sick?”

“You could say that,” Flo admitted. “She’s unavailable.”

“Are you sure it’s that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know I haven’t had as much time with her as Laurie. And I saw them dancing.” Elton lowered his head in defeat. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

“To be honest I don’t even understand myself what’s going on. She hasn’t been herself in these last days.”

“Well, we haven’t seen Laurie either. I just want to know the truth.” He said looking away. Flo could detect pain in his voice. “Anyway, I hope she gets better soon. Thank you, Flo.” He said making his way out. 

“Is he gone?” Amy asked, biting her nails.

“Yes, but he deserved more than this.”

“I know. But I can’t right now.”

“Why don’t we go outside, it’ll do you good fresh air.” She said grabbing Amy’s arm and taking her outside. 

“Can you tell me what happened? Mrs. Taylor said something about you and Laurie, is that it?” Flo asked when they sat on a bench.

“She thought Laurie was my suitor. I told her we were just friends.” Flo made a face that told Amy something. “You knew?”

“Well, yes. I mean, I think everyone did, to be honest. Why else would Laurie be here all the time?”

“I thought he felt homesick.”

“He never told you anything?”

“No! That night, he… God, I’m such an idiot! I should have never followed him to that garden.”

“Ok… honey, you really need to tell me what exactly happened there,” Flo asked because in her mind more serious things happened. 

“He was angry because I said we were just friends. And then he… I guess he wanted to make a declaration or something, but I stopped him. Like he expected me to jump in his arms and what?!”

“He proposed?!”

“No… or at least I didn’t let him say much. I ended up telling him that I loved him.” Flo opened her mouth astonished. 

“What did he do?”

“Nothing, he just stayed there and I left. Jesus, what did I do?” Amy began crying harder. Flo only held her cousin. It was so weird to see Amy like this, which made it all the more painful. 

“I know you're hurting. I’m on your side. All I’m saying is that your family always talks about Laurie with the highest praise, especially you. It doesn’t fit that he'll do something like that.”

“When we were in Nice, he told me that Jo was the only one he ever cared about. Am I supposed to believe that in the span of six months he changed his feelings completely? Either he’s as volatile as a feather and therefore what he claims to feel means nothing, or he’s just stupid if he thinks he can have the life he envisioned with Jo, by settleting with me and therefore he doesn’t know who I am at all, cause I can’t be Jo! He wants to be close to her.” Amy said, her eyes getting redder. “Maybe I was wrong all along. He’s desperate. He went to work for his grandfather, and he needs a wife. He needs an ornament to socialize.” Amy said echoing her words in Valrosa. 

“I should have never answered that letter,” Amy said regretfully.

“What letter?”

“The Christmas letter. I should have never answered. I mean, I was fine! I had made up my mind, I was going to marry Fred.”

“You said no for a reason.”

“I know.”

  
  


After that day, Amy resolutely decided not to sulk ever again. Although she didn’t recover her usual energy instantly. She went out with Flo and some friends, but those also reduced in number, since Laurie and his friends had gone. 

“How are you honey, are you feeling better?” Mrs. Carrol asked. For days she watched the girl closely, wondering if her illness was more a matter of the heart than of the food as Flo told her. Because she wasn’t stupid, she noticed how Amy’s mood got better every time Laurie wrote or visited. 

“Yes, Thank you, Aunt Carrol.”

“Listen, dear, I know we promised you and your family to be back home before winter, but we don’t want to separate Flo and James and it looks as if he is already planning a proposal.”

“I’m so glad.”

“We are too. But my husband and I were thinking of staying here a few more months.”

“Oh,” Amy said letting her disappointment come out. She was happy for her cousin, truly; but she also missed home so much.

“If you want to go back, we could send you a chaperone.”

“I don’t want to bother with all of that.”

“Nonsense. It’s very easy. A lot of young women have to travel alone and that service is offered.” Amy was still hesitant. “It’s ok, sweetheart.” Mrs. Carrol reassured her. 

“Alright.”

“I’ll get the tickets ready and you can tell your family about your returning.”

But there was still a pending matter: Elton. She didn’t know exactly what to say. Back at home, she rejected a few boys, even rejected Parker’s requests for a kiss. Saying no to Fred had been hard, but at least she knew she did it because he didn’t really know her nor cared about her art. But Elton was different and she even could say that she began to feel something. It wasn’t love exactly, but she certainly liked him. She could see herself being part of that family where art is all around. She wrote a note to him, asking if he was willing to see her, and he accepted. So they met in the park.

“Hi,” They greeted each other, but the exciting and warm rapport was gone. “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”

“I don’t have much time,” he said, trying to be kind but really he was angry. Amy couldn’t blame him.

“Elton, I’m so sorry.”

“If he was always your choice, why did you accept me?”

“It’s not like that. Laurie has been around since we were kids and we were always friends and nothing more.”

“That’s not how it looked like.”

“Believe me, I had no idea. I… I never expected him to do anything more.” She touched her forehead. “I liked you. I really did. And perhaps had you arrived a year ago to my life, this would have ended completely differently.”

“I don’t understand, when you stopped going out, I figured out you had chosen him, but then he left.”

“I didn’t. He went to London, and I’m going back to Concord.” She watched Elton’s eyes looking down. “You are a wonderful man. I’m so sorry you got in the middle of this,” Amy tried to apologize but she felt as if she was doing the exact same thing Laurie did with her. 

“He’s lucky.” He said in a low voice. “Don’t make it easy for him.”

“I don’t think anything else is going to happen.” But Elton knew better. 

* * *

In the next couple of days, Amy focused on cleaning the painting room. She packed her sketchbooks, aquarelles, and oil paintings. And in the process, she realized how prolific she was. Most of them were sketches of landscapes, animals, and the people she saw. She now knew why almost every artist’s dream was to visit Europe. It was such an incredible place and so inspiring. She was going to miss it. But her tie was up and now she needed to go back and figure out her life on her own. 

She began putting down her easel, collecting the pieces of the canvas she still had and all of her materials. Flo helped her to get everything in order. They spent the rest of the week together. 

“So, what are you going to do?” Flo asked as they closed the last baggage. 

“I’m going to teach,” Amy confessed as she folded some papers into a box. “I always said I would when I came back. Katherine says that Mr. Brown has a waiting list, so maybe I can talk to him.”

“What about Laurie?” Amy just sat in the bed and shook her head. For days Flo had wanted to talk with Amy about him. She decided to just get it out, see if Amy may open up to her. 

Amy moved her head negatively. “For years I watched Laurie as he watched Jo. He saw his life with her. I can’t compete with that.”

“Maybe it’s not a matter of competing.”

“Jo is going to kill me if she ever finds out!”

“But she rejected him…”

“You don’t know Jo, from the moment she met him, he was hers. He would play with us all and he would even flirt with me, but Jo had a claim on him, even when it was not romantic.” She continued. “The whole family expected them to marry. Maybe if I were Meg or Beth, she might be okay with it, but me...”

“Things can change...”

“I’m so sick to always be in second place,” Amy began talking. “Whenever Jo discards something, it passes to me. First being Aunt March companion, then yours, and now Laurie. I can handle everything before, but Laurie...I rather stay unmarried for the rest of my life than spending my days with someone who’s never going to love me as I love him because he’s thinking about my sister...that would kill me.” She said standing up to continue her packing. “Jo already hates me enough...and a lot of it I brought it on myself, and some I’ll just never understand...But I know I’m not adding Laurie to the list.”

“But...”

“No, please, Flo. I don’t want to talk about it. Aunt March is disappointed, I know she is. And, I was supposed to return married, to help my family.”

“It’s not your job...”

“But it is. Jo already did her part. She’s sacrificing her writing to get money. Beth needs a good doctor and Meg and John need help. My parents won’t be able to work for long.” 

“Are you going to be ok?”

“Of course, but I don’t want to hear about my marriage in a long time. My marriage, not yours. I want to hear about it as much as you can say, alright?” She said as she watched Flo blushed. 

“I’m going to miss you.” Flo hugged her tightly.

“Me too. Thanks for always being there for me.”

“Are you kidding me? I don’t have three sisters waiting for me back home. You’re it!” The couple of cousins laughed and cried. They loved each other so much, and Amy knew she had a fourth sister. 

“Good luck, sweetheart. Write to us when you get home.”

“I will, Aunt Carrol,” Amy said and her aunt pulled her into a hug. “Thank you so much, for everything.”

“It was a joy to have you with us. We’re going to miss you.” Her aunt replied.

“An absolute pleasure, young lady.” Mr. Carrol spoke. He and Flo took her to the train station where she met her chaperone, a mature woman with a strong face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, when Amy mentions "Katherine" or "Kate", she's referring to her childhood best friend Kitty Bryant. I just thought that since they are adults, calling her Kitty would be right. 
> 
> The sad part of triangles is that for sure, someone will get hurt.


	11. Welcome home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it took me 10 chapters to be back in Concord!!! haha. From the start that was the idea, but it took longer than expected. 
> 
> Btw, thanks for the lovely comments about Elton. But he had to go.
> 
> Enjoy!

A couple of months after Laurie went to London to work with his grandfather, he sat in his office arranging documents. He was almost done for the day when he started looking for a pen and opened a drawer with a note on top.

_ Laurie, _

_ I’m going back home next week. I would really appreciate it if you don't mention anything to my family. _

_ Please _ . 

_ Amy March _

Laurie looked at the note longer than he should. It arrived a couple of weeks after he left Vevay. He couldn’t move, feeling as if an ice bucket was dropped on him. Amy really was putting an end to their relationship, to their friendship. She wrote the note as neutral as possible, no more “Dear Laurie” or “Yours, Amy”. Compared to her past letters this one was cold, gone where the joyous retells of her adventures in Nice. She couldn’t blame her, yet it hurt. He told himself that he was fine and that there would be time to fix that. But first, he needed to figure out how he was going to make a living. It wasn’t enough that he was going to inherit, he had to learn the business. He couldn’t throw away the note, so he put it on the drawer. 

He continued checking the documents that needed to be sent as soon as possible. His grandfather stayed in the entrance of the room, watching his grandson attentively. He looked at him with pride but also with concern. He was doing a fine job on the business, better than he expected. He stopped drinking and partying, he was responsible and polite. Yet, he seemed melancholic. Mr. Laurence feared he had made his grandson a miserable being, insisting on putting him in a face with papers he didn’t care about. Yes, he wanted Laurie to release him and take charge of the business, but he also wanted him to be happy. So far, he didn’t appear so.

“Are you alright?”

“Sure.” He answered, not convincingly. “I’m almost done.”

“I wasn’t talking about work.” He said, sitting on a chair. “I do care about how you feel, you know?”

“I’m sorry. I know you do.” Laurie said, raising his head to look at his grandfather and then went back to the papers. But he didn’t respond to his question.

“Son, I need you, to be honest with me.” Mr. Laurence began attracting Laurie’s attention once more. “Do you like this job? Are you happy?” Laurie reacted surprised and quite incapable of forming complete words, which only increased the old man's concerns. “You don’t seem like you are.”

“I am, honestly, Grandfather. I know it may seem strange, after all the nonsense I did last year. But believe that I am. It feels good to do something productive and earn one’s living.”

“Then what’s going on?”

“I just can’t make anything right.”

“You’re doing a fine job here. Truly, the people at the office are very pleased with your performance.”

“It’s not the job. Though it’s nice to know I’m good at it, thank you…” Laurie debated whether he should tell the truth to his grandfather or remain quiet. After all, Amy only said he couldn’t tell her family, although the lines were blurred in that regard. But he also needed to speak with someone about this. “You once told me that you’d be happy if I marry one of the March girls.” Mr. Laurence nodded, suspecting that his melancholy had to do with Jo. “I know you were thinking about Jo at the moment. And so did I. Maybe we were both wrong.” Mr. Laurence frowned at the question, but let him continue. “I spent a lot of time with Amy. She became an amazing woman.”

“So I have heard.”

“I… I felt something, a lot actually.”

“Does she know?”

“Yes,”

“Is this why she rejected Fred Vaughn?”

“No,” Laurie shook his head. “She tried to love him, but she couldn’t. She was ready to marry him though, for her family’s sake. ”

“She always put reason before anything. That girl, I remember since she was a child, she looked so determined in what she wanted.” Mr. Laurence remembered the time the 14 years old girl knocked on his door to ask for a book, an anatomy book. 

_ “I only want it to study proportions. Mrs. Brown says that women are not allowed to study male anatomy because it’s immoral and may pervert us. But I promise it won’t do such a thing for me. I only want to do some sketches of it and be better at my works.” Mr. Laurence looked at her with his brow raised, trying to argue against the child’s petition. He couldn’t but admire the boldness and determination of a young girl.  _

_ “And your mother agrees with you?” He asked.  _

_ “She agrees it’s unfair,” Amy said.  _

_ “Out of all of the women in this town, I know you would never let anyone vice your beliefs, nor would you behave un lady-like. Alright, then. You can come when your sister comes to play and you can study. But you have to tell your mother.” She thanked him enthusiastically and kept her word. _

“Well, I’m not surprised she didn’t go along with it in the end. She’s still a March daughter.” He asked looking at his grandson who kept his head down, thoughtful. “Besides, I kind of figured it out." The old man confessed looking at Laurie's amazed expression. "I knew there was something more than just the weather of Nice that made you stay there. Why else do you think I let you go to Vevay? I just want you to be happy and have a family with a good woman. I stand by my thoughts. I have no doubt you’d get all your happiness with a March girl on your side. And Amy seems perfect for you. Did she reject you?” Mr. Laurence asked. He was very worried, he didn’t want Laurie to be heartbroken again. “Does she have someone else in mind? She always attracted suitors.”

“Not really. I… She didn’t precisely refuse me...not like Jo. Jo didn’t love me, and now I understand that she was right. I’m not even sure why  _ I  _ thought I loved her. I mean, I do, she’s my best friend and she will be forever. Maybe I was too quick in labeling my feelings for her. It sounded logical at the time.”

“And this doesn’t?”

“I tried so hard to become someone Jo would want to marry, it didn't matter if I had to give up important things to me or how many times she left clear marriage was not for her,” Laurie said, bringing his hand to his hair, incredulous of how immature he was then. “I loved Jo, and she couldn’t. Amy can, she does.” Laurie confessed, widening his grandfather’s eyes. “She thinks I’m only doing it to settle. She looked very hurt by it.”

“And are you? Settling? Because if you are, I’d be the first one to stop you. Amy deserves a man who loves her and only her. And it will speak worse about you than anything you’ve ever done.”

“I know I’ve done very disgraceful things, but I would never do something like that. It hurts that people think me capable of doing something as despicable as that.”

Mr. Laurence apologized and said, “She won’t marry anyone she doesn’t love, right? Then give her time, give yourself time to reflect, and be sure of the life you truly want. If Amy is part of it, then show it to her.”

* * *

Amy arrived in Concord in the last week of September. To her surprise, the town looked almost the same. She didn’t know exactly what she expected to change. She was glad things looked alright. Europe had been amazing, but she missed this, the familiarity of the small town. She was able to afford service for her luggage, thanks to the money she saved. But first, she needed to make a stop, before reaching Orchard. 

She approached the little cottage and knocked. A tall man opened and opened his mouth astonished.

“Hello, I’m looking for Meg March.” She winked at her brother-in-law, who smiled kindly.

“John, who is it?” They could hear Meg walking to the door. John stepped aside to let the sisters see each other. “Oh My God!!!” She rushed to hug her little sister. 

“Oh, I missed you so much!” Amy said, almost crying and still in the hug. 

“We missed you too, sweety.” Now both sisters were crying. “Oh, but look at you. You look gorgeous! These clothes!” Meg said touching her dress. 

“Thank Aunt March for that.”

“Come in! The kids are in the back playing.” They all went in to meet the little rugrats.

“Kids, Aunt Amy is here,” Meg announced. The little kids approached and looked at her. The last time Amy saw them they were babies. She wasn’t expecting them to remember her. “Remember that we told them she was coming back.” Daisy looked at Amy, she didn’t remember her but she looked so pretty and elegant that the girl couldn’t take her eyes off her.

“Hi,” Amy said sweetly and the pair of kids became comfortable with her around and went to play again. 

“They just need time,” Meg said.

“It’s alright, I know I left for almost two years. They’re so big,” They went to talk in the kitchen. 

“You should have told us. John would have gone to pick you up.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you certainly did! Oh, Amy,” Meg couldn’t believe this was her baby sister. She looked like a woman of the world now. And still, she could see she was the same person, only more mature. “Did you tell anyone back at home?”

“No, they also have a surprise.”

As expected, the family in Orchard gave a reception as warm as Meg’s. Just like her sister, they were impressed with the physical changes. They wanted to know everything, the places, the people she met, everything she did. She was surprised to find Beth in bed. Finally, the family confessed about her illness. Part of Amy was resentful at them for not telling her the truth. But then her sweet Beth told her she wanted her to enjoy Europe and she couldn’t be angry with her. 

“God heard my prayers,” she told Beth.

“I’m sure He did.” Everyone could see how much Beth’s mood improved by the return of her sister. 

And then there was Jo. When Amy came into Beth’s room, she was there. She hugged her sincerely and everything, but Amy knew there was still something there. She knew Jo was bitter when Aunt Carrol chose her over Jo. She knew Jo cried and wished she could have gone. She didn’t expect Jo to be over it so easily. In the end, who else is going to gift her a trip to Europe? She supposed she would be angry too. 

“Wow, you’ve grown!” Jo said. She never cared for fashion or proper dressing, but even she had to admit Amy looked refined. 

“It’s been two years,” Amy said.

“Thank God, you’re here. Beth struggled a lot this year. I keep telling her we needed to tell you, but she refused.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re here now, and she’s getting much better. That’s all that matters now.” 

Meg went with her, so they had a nice dinner. How much she had missed Hannah’s cooking! The family laughed and enjoyed being together again. 

“Did you get a chance to see a lot of paintings?”

“Yes! It’s so beautiful.”

“What about the classes, are you going to be a painter?” Jo asked.

“I don’t think so.” Everyone frowned at that. “I had time to think on the way back. I’ll ask Mr. Brown if I could have his waiting list. I got enough training to introduce kids to art.”

She managed to avoid the topic of marriage. She just never mentioned anyone and her family understood it wasn’t a good moment to talk about that. But when the euphoria of her returning faded, tensions with Jo erupted again a few days later. 

“We thought you’d get back married.”

“I never said I would.”

“Mother said you wrote about Fred...”

“I wrote about a lot of people.”

“Yes, but I thought...”

“You thought I’d marry rich to live in luxury for the rest of my days. Yes, I remember,” Amy said, echoing Jo’s words before she left for Europe. 

“Sorry. Marmee said...”

“I know. He did propose, but I said no.”

“Why? He’s everything you ever wanted.”

“How is it you always seem to know exactly what I want!” Amy replied annoyed. “I didn’t love him, ok?” She said after a deep breath and in a calmer tone.

“How much do you think you’ll get from teaching?”

“I don’t know... enough to live and help with a few things here. Depends on how many students I can get,” Jo looked worried too. “Listen, I know it’s not what you expected, but between your writing and my classes, we might be able to do better here.”

“I’m not writing anymore,” Jo stood up.

“What?!”

“I’m not writing anymore, okay?”

“Why?!”

“Because I’m not good enough!”

“But I thought you were selling alright. Marmee said you were writing for a paper.”

“I was, but...”

“I read a few of your stories abroad, you know?"

"You did?"

"Yeah, I have a whole sketchbook filled with images of your stories. People like them.”

“Not everyone,” Jo sat down again, frustrated. “Professor Bhaer is right, my writing is vulgar and common.”

“Professor Bhaer? The one Marmee talked about?”

“I let him read a few of my stories and he made comments. He hated them.”

“Does he know that you write them to get money for us?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then screw him!”

“Amy!” Jo reacted. She never expected her sister to talk like that. "He's a very smart man, much more intelligent than I."  


“If he can’t understand that you  _ have  _ to do it, then he’s not worth it. I’m so sick of men judging us for doing the best we can. You didn’t start writing like this, the editors made you do it. Male editors.”

“I know. But he’s right, my writing is vulgar. It’s even started to affect the way I think. I didn’t even sign with my name because I knew Marmee and Father would be disappointed. I knew what I was doing.”

“So now what?”

“I’ll figure something out.”

* * *

In the meantime, Amy went back to see Aunt March. The old lady received her gladly. She took a good look at her and was satisfied. The only thing she was missing was a husband. Amy explained to her what happened with Fred and she didn’t receive any reproach. She also told her about her plans for teaching. Aunt March looked at her and allowed her to be her companion again. Of course, it entailed money, but also more responsibilities. Now that she was a grown-up woman, she could trust her with other social issues. 

Amy thought it was going to be like before. But one day, she came to Plumfield and found Aunt March sleeping in the library. She greeted her but the lady didn’t move. At first, Amy thought it was normal, she tried moving books to wake her up, but she didn't achieve it. 

“Aunt March?” Amy said worryingly, walking towards her. She moved the old lady, but she was barely breathing. “Estelle!”

  
  


“Is she going to be okay?”Amy asked as the doctor finished examining Aunt March. Mr. March came and accompanied Amy. 

“The infection never really left. Now that temperature is decreasing it will get worse. She needs bed rest and medicine.”

“Thank you.” Mr. March accompanied the doctor out. Amy stayed with her aunt. 

  
  


Amy didn’t begin unpacking her luggage when she decided to move again. She knew Aunt March had caught the flu, but she thought it was in the past. The doctor’s words frightened her. She spoke with her parents about moving to Plumfield to take care of her. 

“You just came back!” Jo said annoyed as Amy packed some of the things she used during those days. “Beth is still frail, you know?”

“Yes, I know, Jo.” Amy turned to her angrily. “I don’t need you to remind me!”

“You don’t have to keep trying to gain Aunt March’s favors. She already took you to Europe”

“I’m not trying anything, Jo.” Amy defended herself. “Aunt March has done so much for me. The least I can do is take care of her while she’s sick. And unlike you, I actually like being around her. She might not be the loveliest relative we have, but she cares a lot. Beth is getting better, Aunt March is getting worse. We can't let Estelle do all on her own,” she continued as she sat next to Beth. “I’ll come to see you every day.” She kissed her sister’s head. Beth smiled at Amy. The two sisters shared a hug.

“I hope Aunt March gets better quickly. So we can have you here again.” Sweet Beth added.

“Hopefully it will be so,” Marmee said entering the girls’ room. Amy walked to her. “Keep us informed on Aunt March’s progress. Take care, sweetheart” She continued, hugging Amy.

“I will. I’ll be managing Aunt March’s affairs from now on. I will serve me well.” And so Amy left Orchard house and went to Plumfield. Estelle cleaned her old room for her. It felt familiar though the last time she slept there was when she was just 12 years old. How many things have changed! She made her way to the attic and found all the stuff she used to play with. All the dresses and the jewels that made her feel like a fancy lady. She still wasn’t rich, but she had definitely improved. Surely, she didn't get impressed by those luxuries so easily anymore. Walking around she opened the old closet. She smiled upon seeing her old little chapel, all for herself. Estelle had cleaned it too. She put the rosary back on its place and returned after dinner to pray and thank God for the health of her sister. And she also prayed for some peace of mind. She had a long way ahead to earn a living and she had to be brave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laurie is going to be a little absent in the following chapters. Not entirely, but Amy's story will be more prominent for a while. 
> 
> What do you think? I'm curious to know what you think.


	12. Learning to sail my own ship

**Concord, 1870**

Getting students was easier than she thought. Mr. Brown was very pleased to see her again. She told him about Europe and all that she learned there and the people she met. He always told his students about traveling to Europe if they really wanted to improve their skills. She took her sketchbooks for him to examine. 

“Well, you’ve certainly made progress.” He said using his glasses to look at the papers. “Well done, miss.”

“Thank you, Mr. Brown,” Amy said proudly. “I know I still have a lot to learn, but I really need to work and I was thinking if you know about people around whom I can give some beginners lessons.” She asked, fearing that he would tell her that she wasn’t ready for it. 

“Mhm… I do have a waiting list.” He said going to a drawer to get a sheet of paper. “You can go with these people, they will pay you well. The training of an artist never ends, but from what I see you can give lessons without trouble.” Those words meant so much to Amy. With confidence she walked to the addresses he noted and to her surprise, she got a few clients. It took some convincing, but at last Aunt March agreed to lend her a room for the classes. That way she could stay in the house while working. His father helped her set everything up and carry the materials. 

She had been nervous at the beginning, but six weeks into it, she was more confident. Because she was living with Aunt March, her expenses reduced, which meant that she was able to help Orchard with more money. She only kept the necessary for her art supplies and her own things. Thankfully, she had a few dresses she could wear that was presentable enough for parties and reunions. 

And how much it helped to be well dressed in the Parisian mode. Concord was still a little behind in fashion, and her new European air caught a lot of attention. She quickly reunited with her childhood friends, especially Kate. Thanks to her, she had learned all the town’s gossip those last years. Some of the girls of her age had already been married, which inevitably brought the theme of her own marriage to the popular conversation.

“People are asking why you came back unmarried,” Kate mentioned her.

“For Christ’s sake, I knew this was going to happen. Who is talking?”

“I heard Jenny saying something, and May and you others.”

“Jesus, you’d think marrying Tudor would put May in a better mood, but no.”

“I know,” Kate rolled her eyes. “But tell me, did you meet a lot of handsome European men?”

“I did," she confessed. It was good to be back with her old friends. 

**_Concord, 1867_ **

_Amy walked on her way to see her friend Kate Bryant at her house. Much to her dismay, she met along the way a group of friends she hated. Even when Amy had dropped school, she still had to see them in parties and reunions. “Hey, Amy,” she heard Jenny’s voice calling her._

_“Hi, Jenny,” she said without stopping. Regardless, Jenny walked beside her._

_“How is Laurie? Did he say something about me?”_

_“Why would he do that?” Amy snorted._

_“Oh because we kissed at Sara’s party.”_

_“Yeah, alright,” she snorted again. “Keep having nice dreams.”_

_“You don’t believe me? Ask him,” Jenny gave Amy a look. She sounded confident, maybe it was true._

_“I wouldn’t get too excited if I were you, maybe he just did it for pity. Were you waiting for someone to ask you to dance again?” Jenny’s face changed into an annoyed one. “That’s what I thought,” and with that Amy was able to get rid of Jenny’s presence and made her way to Kate’s house._

_“You know, Laurie kissing Jenny Snow is the kind of things I need to know beforehand.”_

_“Oh no, did you see her?” Amy nodded. “I’m sorry.”_

_“It's ok. I just would have liked to be prepared.”_

_“She doesn’t even like him. She hates Italians.”_

_“It’s fine. Honestly, it’s not like they’re getting married. I just didn’t know Laurie liked having disgusting things in his mouth.”_

  
  


**Concord, 1870**

Another month passed and she was getting a hold of her new lifestyle. She liked it. She would take care of Aunt March, make sure she took her medicines as indicated by the doctor. Then she would help Estelle with the chores before her classes in the evening, and after those, she would pay a quick visit to her family. And at last, she would go back to Plumfield to check on Aunt March and go to sleep. Just every now and then, she would have reunions with friends and Concord upper class. People were interested in her experiences and most were satisfactorily surprised by the progress she made. She was even invited to the Concord’s Art Club. Jo always made fun of those kinds of societies, because she thought it was a bunch of ladies talking about their husbands and pretty paintings. Aunt March, on the contrary, was pleased. She always thought it was good for a woman to be involved in these kinds of groups. To Amy, it always represented something special. The mothers of some of her painting classmates were in it and it wasn’t easy to enter. Amy discovered these women were highly cultured. Having been all of their lives in a house, whether it was their parents’ or their husbands’, they have spent their time reading and learning languages, music, and art history. They weren’t void, and being in an only-women club allowed them to express more freely. Of course, none of them were ardent revolutionaries or anything related, but they had opinions. Amy found they were a nice company.

And even better, they were attracted to her paintings and sketches. Of course, they knew there were women artists in America and even more in Europe, and it felt nice to have someone from Concord capable of doing it. Amy told them she wasn’t sure she could have a career after all the modern ideas from Europe reach America. Most of them found hesitant to accept the new waves, but one or two showed interest, at the very least they were intrigued by these rebels. 

  
  
  


December arrived and the snow already covered the streets. People were excited about the Holidays, and so does Amy. However, she was more excited about her new student. Daniel Cameron Franklin was a young boy, 15 years old. His parents have detected an ability for sculpture in the last years and decided to support him. For business reasons, they were staying in the winter in Concord and someone (Robert March) told them about Amy. Mr. Franklin had met Mr. March a long time ago and was sorry to hear of his economic problems. However, Mr. March refused any kind of help. When Daniel’s mother talked about giving artistic education, he didn’t waste time in talking about his daughter. A few good words about Amy from other people to them and they were convinced. 

Now Amy was waiting for the boy to arrive. Amy liked to have male students, mainly because she could be more open and teach them things that the girls couldn’t learn. She would have loved to teach the girls real anatomy and model drawing, but their parents weren’t ready for that and could accuse her of perverting their daughters. She reserved to teach them the head and hands proportions, and maybe a few more about female anatomy. But a boy with sculpture ambitions was perfect to share the knowledge she had acquired in secret. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Sometimes, on Saturdays, Amy liked to pay a visit to the stables. The owner had welcomed her enthusiastically. Indeed, Amy had been a great help to him, training the horses for little girls before she went to Europe. It pained her to leave the gorgeous stallions at the Nieriker’s home in Switzerland, but now she was back and happy to see her girl again. Rosa was a young mare she used to train. Someday, she will have enough money to buy her and build a stable in her own home and ride her whenever she wants. 

  
  
  
  


**London, 1871**

On no particular day, Laurie found himself going through London streets with a group of friends. “Laurie,” He heard a feminine voice calling him. 

“Flo!” He said surprised walking towards her. “What brings you here?”

“Father wanted to visit London one more time. We’re going back home.” They turned to look at the sea in front of them. 

“I heard the news. Congratulations.” He said looking at the jewel that adorned her finger.

“Thank you. I’m kind of keeping this as a surprise.” Flo replied and turned to look at the woman that was among the group. “How did London treat you? Did you find another woman prepared to listen to a failed proposal?” She joked, but Laurie didn’t move and kept looking away. “Too soon? I’m sorry.”

“No, I guess it is laughable.” He answered sincerely. “Do you have news from Concord? How is everything?”

“Everything is...” Flo said, looking attentively at him, though he retained his sight on the sea. “Better. She’s taking care of Aunt March.” Flo answered, fully conscious that in “everything”, he meant “Amy”. Laurie turned to look at her, but there was no point denying it. “She’s in the Concord Art Club and she’s teaching!” He nodded, smiling slightly with pride. But quickly remembering that if he had done things differently, he'd be with her, instead of sulking an ocean away, his mood went down again. 

“I had a plan. I was going to do it right this time.” He said, turning back to the sea, not wanting Flo to see his eyes became redder. Although she noticed his voice breaking. “I was going to take her to the chateau garden by moonlight, she loved that place. I still had to come up with the speech, but...”

“She would have liked that.” Flo looked at him. “You really never knew?” Laurie shook his head. “Laurie! She looked at you and her eyes shone. It’s weird, but somehow she could be more like herself with you around.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her so much.”

“I know.” Because she did know. Despite all the teasing and jokes she threw at Laurie, she could see how smitten he was for Amy. “But I’m not the one you should be telling this to, Laurie.”

“What if she doesn’t want to listen?”

“She will. Maybe you don’t have to say it immediately. When are you coming back?”

“Grandfather hoped to be back for the holidays, but work got heavy. I told him I could manage if he wanted to go back. I’ll stay here a couple of months”

  
  
  


**Concord, 1871**

On a Sunday evening, Amy decided to go have dinner with her family. She went to church in the morning. Though the family wasn’t one to attend church regularly (they preferred to show their love of God through actions), ever since Amy stayed at Aunt March when Beth was ill, she found comfort in praying and going to church. Even in Europe, she was not Catholic, but one of her favorite places had been the cathedrals. Notre Dame was so amazing. And how can she forget the Sistine Chapel? Of course, those memories were bittersweet, since it had shown her that she didn’t have genius. 

When Amy entered she heard a familiar voice. “Hello dear”. Said the old man. 

“Mr. Laurence, good evening.”

“How wonderful to see you again. I wish we could have met in Europe,” he said kindly. “You look splendid, dear.” Amy smiled as she blushed. “Laurie was right.”

Amy froze at the mention of Laurie. So he talked about her? What exactly did he say? Hopefully, not much. “He’s very kind.” She said looking around. “Is he back, too?”

“No, he’s staying to finish some tasks. Possibly, he’ll be in a few weeks.” Amy breathed again, for a second she thought she was going to see him again. “He’s working very hard, it’s a miracle,” he joked, but quickly returned to his serious tone. “I know you helped him a lot. Thank you,” he said, taking her hands. It was almost as if he was talking to her as a daughter. The rest of the family looked at her. There was no point in being proud and denying things. She wasn’t sure Laurie had told everything to his grandfather's, but something about Mr. Laurence’s tone and the way he looked ať her told her that he might know something. 

“There’s nothing to thank, Laurie is family.” She assured him. 

Mr. Laurence stayed for the rest of the day, the whole family was together sharing things from the past years. Amy tried not to mention Europe too much and sounded like she was showing off, but the old man kept asking. “I just acquired a painting, but I don’t know where to put it. Perhaps you could help me decide.” 

“Emm… Sure. I would love to.” 

“Splendid, maybe you can come to the house, later in the week?”

“Of course,” she said. Mr. Laurence made his excuses and left the March House. Amy left too, later. 

  
  
  
  


_Just go in there, help him and get out._ Amy told herself as she walked towards the big house. “Good morning,” Amy greeted the maid. “Is Mr. Laurence home?” The maid directed her to his office. Mr. Laurence was learning on the desk holding a frame. Something about his expression was melancholic. He composed himself as he noticed her ať the door. 

“Good morning, Mr. Laurence.”

“Oh, Amy, dear. How good it is to see you.”

“I hope I’m not interrupting you…”

“Nonsense,” he stopped her. “Come in,” Amy did as told. He walked towards her with the painting so she could see it. Amy couldn’t move. It was Laurie’s parents’ portrait, the one she did for him in Paris. “You did a great job!”

“Laurie asked me to do this, he said he would ask your permission before bringing it…”

“I hate to think of what-ifs, but if there is one thing that I regret is distancing myself from my son. At the time it seemed like the right choice. As much as it hurts,” he confessed, looking ať the portrait. “We all make mistakes.” Amy nodded. Indeed she made a lot of them. “I hope you can forgive my grandson for his own,” he turned to look at Amy. She was incapable of constructing a logic phrase. But Mr. Laurence was merciful and instead of forcing a declaration from Amy, changed the subject. “Why don’t we find a nice place for this?” They found a warm spot in the living room. After that, Amy stayed for an hour. Mr. Laurence was very curious about the people she met and about the new wave of movements that were appearing. “Laurie told me you won’t pursue art anymore?” He asked as they walked down the stairs, to accompany Amy to the door. She took his arm as they did so. 

“Emm… No, I won’t.”

“I think it's a shame.”

“I’m still trying to be close to art.”

“Indeed you are. Your Mother has told me all about your nomination to preside over the Club and ideas to bring more art to Concord. And I heard you have a very special student.”

“Thankfully, Aunt March is willing to help me.”

“And I am too.” He said as they reached the door. “If you need anything, I’m here.”

“Thank you so much”

Mr. Laurence then did something unexpected: he hugged her, “thank _you_ ,” he said. Amy didn’t say anything, she just hugged him back. She would be too proud to admit it, but a tear did escape her eyes on the way to Plumfield. For the past months, she had been able to put her thoughts about Laurie to the side. Now it seemed like it was coming back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daniel Cameron Franklin is based on Daniel Chester French, mostly known for the Lincoln Memorial. He was in Concord during the winter of 1868–69, where May Alcott gave him classes and art supplies. 
> 
> Rosa is the name of May's horse in The Other Alcott, and I couldn't think of a better name for Amy's favorite one. It just suits perfectly for Amy to call it that way. 
> 
> I know a lot of you want Laurie to be back now, I honestly wasn't planning to take so much time, but there are a few things that need to be done before that happens. I'll try to make it up by updating quicker. I'm sorry. But hey, it looks like everytime I update, the number of possible chapters increases, so that's a good thing, right?
> 
> I always love to read your reviews!


	13. The truth always comes out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I promised I was going to update soon and it took me more than a week. I have to be honest, I'm not completely satisfied with some things about this chapter, but I let to you say the final word.

**Concord, 1871**

Amy was spending time with Beth in their room when she heard voices downstairs, and one that recognized and hadn't heard in a long time. 

“What a wonderful surprise!” Amy ran down the stairs and hugged her cousin tightly as excited laughs came out of them. The rest of the family watched the little scene.

“We arrived just this morning.”

“Wait,” Amy noticed Flo was hiding her right hand. “Show me your hand,” she pulled it up and opened her mouth. “Oh my God!”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” 

“So pretty!”

“Congratulations, Florence,” said Marmee.

“Thank you, Aunt March.”

“Do you have a date?”

“We want to do it in the summer.”

“Is he here?” Amy asked excitedly. 

“He’s coming next month. The wedding is going to be here, and then we’ll decide where we’re going to live. It all depends on his work.”

“Oh, God, this is amazing,” Amy pulled Flo again for a hug. “He’s so sweet,” she told the rest of the family. 

“I was worried about telling you. I mean, with everything that happened.”

“Are you kidding me! I’m so happy for you!”

“Great, because I was thinking that you would make the best bridesmaid.” Amy accepted enthusiastically. 

* * *

  
  


As spring arrived, the Franklins began making plans to leave the town. Amy was sad about losing an excellent student. She found an amazing talent in that boy that with the right training could become genius. 

“I have something for you,” Amy said to the boy in their last class. She went to get a portfolio and opened it. The boy’s eyes shone at the sight. It was a set of materials and tools for sculpting. She had spent more than originally planned, but she was happy to help an artist on the making. 

  
  


* * *

“Thank you,” Aunt Carol said as Marmee brought her her cup of tea. She had come days later because she was arranging everything in her home. “It’s good to be back. Amy said she arrived fine.” 

“Yes, she did. Thank you so much again for taking her,” Marmee sat at the other end of the couch. It was strange for Aunt Carrol to visit. But after taking Amy to Europe, she wanted to see the family. Beth was practicing on her piano and Mr. Laurence was also there enjoying the company. Jo didn’t forget that two years ago, her aunt preferred Amy over her and took away the opportunity of traveling to Europe. But her mother made her sit down and be civil.

“It was a wonderful trip. Amy did very well, you should be very proud of her.”

“Aunt March trained her well,” Jo commented, earning a look from Marmee.

“Indeed, she learned to behave well in society,” Aunt Carrol responded, not forgetting Jo’s insolence the last time she saw her.

“We’re so happy for Florence!” Marmee mentioned changing the mood.

“Thank you, we’re too. It’s going to be a lovely wedding in the summer.” She put her cup on the table. “You must know, Amy was very lucky. I saw a few young men hovering around.”

“She didn’t marry though,” Jo added.

“I thought Amy would marry before Flo, it looked like she and Fred Vaughn were on good terms...”

“Do you know what happened? Amy has barely mentioned him.” Marmee asked. 

“He was a very attentive boy, he was with us in London, Paris and even Germany. All I know is that he did propose. Maybe Flo knows more. I feared she might regret it, but she looked fine. I have to say that Laurie was a big help.”

“I’m sorry he intruded on your trip,” Mr. Laurence said.

“Oh, not at all. On the contrary, I knew how much Amy was missing you all, and having him there was good for her. And even when he left, his letters came constantly. For a moment I thought..." She looked thoughtful. "What am I saying? At least it distracted her in the evenings. My husband appreciated having another man in the dining room and I enjoyed his music. It was like having our own pianist. I’m sure you know what it’s like,” she said smiling at Beth.

“Laurie played for you?” Mr. Laurence asked intrigued. Although he softened his restrictions, Laurie still was hesitant to play piano in the house. That was another one of his mistakes, that’s why he let him go to Vienna for a while. 

“Oh, yes. He and Amy would go out in the evenings, and then he would stay an hour or so and play.” Mr. Laurence smiled. Maybe he had ruined that opportunity for himself, but he was glad that Laurie was still willing to share his talent with others, especially Amy. Aunt Carrol didn’t know it, but her words caused great confusion among the family members, especially with Jo. 

“Now, I have to ask you, those two told me they did horse-racing all the time here and that you were fine with it… is it true?” Aunt Carrol asked and Marmee rolled her eyes. 

  
  
  


Days passed, and everything went back to normal. Until one morning, Jo came running back into the house with a letter.

“It’s Laurie, he’s coming back!” Jo said after scanning the paper.

“Oh, that’s great! I’ve missed him so much!” Beth celebrated. Amy tried to smile as sincerely as possible. After months of working from one place to another; between Aunt March, Beth, the classes, and the Club, she barely had time to sulk again. But ultimately, the news brought back a lot of feelings, and she knew she was still hurting. 

“Isn’t it great, Amy?” Jo asked when her sister didn’t react with the same enthusiasm. “Oh, but you saw him all the time in Europe, didn’t you?” Jo kept saying suspiciously, watching Amy attentively. 

“That’s right,” Amy whispered to her sister before walking to the kitchen, without noticing her mother watching her previous interaction. Amy put her hands on the counter and breathed heavily. Why did her heart accelerate all of a sudden?

“Amy?” Her mother’s voice made her jump. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just came to heat water more tea. I didn’t miss the cold winters at all.” Amy said. But her mother didn’t believe her.

“Did something happen between you and Laurie in Europe?”

“What? No!” Amy said defensively. “Why would you say that?”

“There was a moment after you wrote that you rejected Fred and that Laurie was going to stay with you in Switzerland... it gave me hopes that something could happen.”

“Hopes of what?” Amy said, concentrating all her efforts on avoiding a breakdown. 

“Aunt Carrol said he was there almost every day, he wrote to you, and Mr. Laurence...”

“He proposed to Jo!” Amy interrupted her mother, closing her fist, trying not to scream. 

“Things can change. What happened is in the past. You’re not children anymore.” Marmee said, stocking her daughter's hair. She didn’t want to pressure her, she always respected the girls’ privacy. But Amy shocked her head and refused to say another word. And Marmee understood this as a sign to retrieve. She kissed Amy’s temple before stepping back when Amy grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug as she let a tear escape. “Oh, sweetheart.” Marmee hugged her back as tight as she could. She wasn’t used to seeing Amy like this. 

“Please don’t say anything,” Amy said, pulling back, cleaning her cheek. 

“Come on, let’s set the table,” Marmee said naturally as if nothing had been said.

  
  
  


If Amy thought that was the last time she had to discuss the issue with Laurie, she was wrong. And the thing was that other people began to have doubts too. If Amy really had suitors wherever she came, why did she refuse all of them? Now that Beth had healed, Jo was able to concentrate on other stuff. She once told Beth that Amy was left for Laurie to marry. Laurie was handsome and rich, surely Amy would be delighted in marrying him, right? But she barely talked about him, which was odd because Aunt Carrol and Mr. Laurence had said they spent months together. Now that Beth was getting better, she could start thinking about this again.

“Marmee,” Jo said looking outside the window as Amy arrived accompanied by a young man. “Do you think Amy would like to marry Laurie?” 

“What?”

“It’s just, Aunt Carrol said they spent so much time together, I thought it could mean something. I found...” Marmee who had promised her daughter not to say anything and tried to say as little as possible. She watched as the man bowed to say goodbye and Amy walked towards the house. 

“Jo… you can't control these things.”

“Heaven’s sake. It’s freezing out there,” Amy came closing the door. 

“Who was that?” Jo asked.

“Umm… Henry Madison, he met me on my way here. He offered to accompany me.”

“How kind!”

“Shut up,” Amy said, pitching her sister. She was used to her sisters teasing her about the attention she got from men. She sat with them in the living room next to the fireplace. “Marmee, I actually have to tell you that I’m not coming next Saturday. Sara’s offering dinner for the Club and other people are coming.”

“Oh, that’s ok.”

“You want to come?” Amy turned to Jo.

“Me? Why would I want to come?”

“Isabella Park is coming,” Amy said as if Jo knew who she was.

“Who?”

“She is from Boston. The important thing is that she just inherited an outrageous amount of money. She has been acquiring a lot of famous artworks from Europe. She’s coming back to Boston to expand her collection, this time to get her hands on some American masterpieces. She is passionate about art. Maria Stewart knows her and she agreed to come to the dinner,” Amy said as if she wanted to be her. 

“What does that have to do with me?” Jo said. 

“She and her husband are very vocal about their progressive opinions. Maybe you can share some of them.” Amy answered excitedly. “She has a soft spot for female artists.” She said looking at Jo conspiratorially. 

“No way.”

“Oh, come on! When was the last time you attended a party? It could be fun.”

“Don’t you remember? The last time you took me to a reunion I ended up screwing everything,” Jo replied as she went to her room.

“Yes, but now you’ve grown. It won’t happen the same.” Amy said, following her.

“I have no interest in parading for the  _ high society _ to make them like me.” 

“Will you stop with your pride!” Amy shouted. “Where has it led you so far?”

“It’s a bunch of rich people talking about how beautiful they are, or how much they spent on their new dress. What do they know about my writing?”

“Do you honestly find me so void that I would spend hours with them talking about those things? They're much more than that. I’m doing something important here, something that makes me feel good. And as frivolous as it may seem, it makes me happy. I’m doing it  _ alone _ . You don’t care about marriage, but I do!” Amy continued, “I planned my whole life and it proved to be a disappointment. I can't have a painting career, I’m still unmarried. I thought...I thought I’d have someone by now. Someone I could start a life with. And I don’t. More than anyone else, I thought I could have your support.”

“You have it...” Jo said, walking to Amy to hug her. “You have it. I’m sorry.” The two sisters stayed there. As much as they fight, they also love each other tremendously. In fact, even if they wouldn’t recognize it, they respected each other profoundly. 

“So, you’re coming?” Amy asked.

“Alright, but I won’t wear a corset!” Jo said, still hugging her little sister.

“You won’t have to, I promise. The whole town knows you anyway.” Amy said, breaking the hug. “Who knows, these rich people like eccentric ones. Some might appreciate your rebellious character.” The two sisters smiled. After Amy went through Jo’s dresses, she chose the most adequate for the evening. It wasn’t perfect, it needed a few mends but it would do. 

  
  
  


Saturday came and Amy arrived with Aunt March’s carriage for Jo. “Come on, Jo. Let’s go!” Amy shouted at her sister. She came down wearing her best dress. 

“Oh, forget it. I’m not going!” She announced as she saw her sister waiting downstairs. “I mean, look at you!”

“For heaven’s sake. It’s alright,” Amy pulled her towards the door. If Jo expected her mother or sister to save her, she was wrong. Marmee wished them luck and the girls went to the carriage. 

  
  


The dinner was a success. A few faces turned to see the couple of sisters that made Jo feel a bit uncomfortable, but as soon as people started debating on progressive matters and women’s vote, she got much more comfortable. In particular, Jo was interested and vocal. Ms. Stewart talked about the new ideas that were popular in Europe that sounded so crazy and exciting for her. 

  
  


“So you enjoyed it? You actually liked it?” Amy asked, smiling. “You’re not saying it to make me feel better?”

“Ah, for the last time, yes! I thought it was pretty interesting.” Jo repeated one more time. “They’re nice. I wouldn’t consider them my friends, but you’re right. They aren’t void.” Amy smiled proudly. “Hey, have Laurie written to you?"

“What?” Amy stopped walking.

“Oh, nothing. I mean, I know how close you two came to be in Europe, everyone does. And I’ve been thinking…, and you wrote to each other so much...”

“Everyone? Who’s everyone?”

“Aunt Carol, Mr. Laurence, and I don’t know...people. I heard something the other day...Is that why you haven't accepted any serious suitors here?”

Amy felt like she was going to pass out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about! I...you should not believe what people say.” Didn’t matter how much Amy avoided the topic, Jo was determined to talk about it. "And I'm so busy, I don't have time for suitors right now!"

"But you said you wanted to get married, didn't you?"

"Yes! of course, but..."

"Come on, don't tell me you don't like him."

"Jo!"

  
  
  


Just as Orchard House became visible, Marme, Mr. March, and Beth were able to perceive Amy and Jo screaming at each other. "For heaven's sake, what is it now?" Marme said frustrated. From the very beginning, she had been having to deal with their fights. She was hoping that once they grew up, they would Mature and stop. Marme had asked Jo to leave Amy alone, but Jo always did whatever she wanted. Meg and Beth exchanged a worried look. They've also hoped that the endless fights could be in the past. They entered the house and listened to the discussion. 

“This is you trying to control everyone’s life all over again!”

"I'm telling you, it's okay," Jo said. “Nothing would make me more happy than to have Laurie as a brother-in-law. I even told Beth so!”

"Oh, my God!" Amy replied in a sarcastic tone. "Thank you. That's all I needed to hear...your good will. How wonderful. Now I can go to Laurie and tell him I'll marry him." 

"Why not?!" 

"I'm not going to be his consolation prize!" 

"He went to see you! You spent months together!" 

"After you rejected him! Just how little self-respect you think I have!" 

Downstairs the family was quiet listening to the sisters’ quarrel. But it was until Marme heard the following words that she decided to go upstairs. 

"Don't you understand how painful this is? It hurts, it really hurts!" Amy broke down. 

As she was saying that, Marme hugged her. Jo was speechless and couldn't move. For years she considered Amy to be heartless, cold, and calculating, especially after she burned her book. She had no idea how much pain Amy could feel. Marmee asked Jo to leave them with a glare. Jo went down the stairs slowly. Beth hugged her. 

Meanwhile, Marme held Amy while she cried on her legs. It broke her heart to see her daughter so fragile. Even when she was a child, Amy never let anyone see her as weak. She would whine and cry when she got angry as any child would, but she wouldn't dare to show vulnerability. After a while, Amy began to calm herself. She sat back next to her mother. 

“What time is it?” She asked, removing her tears from her cheeks as she tried to compose herself. 

“Don’t worry about that, honey.”

“No, I need to go back to Plumfield.” She said standing up. Marmee quickly pulled her back next to her. 

“No, no, no. Amy…” Marmee tried to stop her, but Amy walked faster and made her way downstairs. 

  
  
  


“She never said anything,” Jo said to her sisters. Dr. March had left the girls to talk alone. He briefly passed through the room where his wife was holding her youngest. The two parents shared a sad look. 

Beth looked at her. “What did you want her to say?” Beth asked.

“She could have said something!” Jo protested.

“And you would have listened to her? Come on, Jo. You always treated Amy differently,” Meg asked. “You would have taken her seriously?” She continued. “You wouldn’t have hit her and fight and told her to stay away.”

“Well...I mean...”

“Amy said nothing because she knew how you would have reacted. She was entitled to this secret, I guess.” Beth said. It hurt that her favorite sister was on Amy’s side. But then again, they both were right. She would have made fun and told Laurie; and the whole thing would have hurt Amy more.

“I once told her she had no heart,” Jo said regretfully. “It’s just, she was always saying that one should not show their feelings, she always seems so pragmatic about everything...”

“It’s self-preservation, Jo.” They all turned to see Amy standing. Beth and Meg walked to Amy, but she stepped back. “I have to go back to Aunt March. I’ll come soon, Beth.” She said lovingly. She almost seemed the eldest sister, comforting her sisters and acting maturely. 

“What can I do?” Jo asked.

“Let Amy alone, for a while,” Meg responded. “Try to write to Laurie.”

Jo nodded sadly. She couldn’t believe it. All this time, Amy was in love with Laurie! How many things made sense. Like the day Laurie arrived at the house. She and Amy had been arranging some stuff in the living room. Amy complimented his new necktie, but before Laurie had a chance to thank her, Jo had shut her up. She was mean. She told her to mind her own business and drag Laurie out of the house. That memory showed how different Amy and Jo saw Laurie. While Amy loved how fashionable Laurie was, Jo tried to stop him from being like that. And to her disgrace, Laurie, in an attempt to make her love him, got rid of many of those ties. 

  
  
  


After her meltdown, Amy made her way to Plumfield she promised to herself that she was never going to do that again. Years of hiding her emotions led her to two breakdowns already! Aunt March, Esther, the entire family knew of her feelings. But she wasn’t going to let anyone feel sorry for her anymore. So far, her work as a teacher was quite good. She set herself to learn how to sail her ship and she was not going to let anyone stop her. 

  
  


Jo couldn’t sleep, her mind was a mess. Quickly, she went up to the attic and began writing a letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now everyone knows! I said that I was not completely satisfied with it, because I always planned Amy to have a meltdown, but I don't know if it came out organically. You tell me.
> 
> This is for real, I have almost the next chapter ready, so expect an update in a day or two :) It's a really special and emotional one!!!


	14. A walk down memory lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurie faces his past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is another update!  
> We’ve been with Amy for a while, so I thought Laurie deserves a chapter all for himself. I also think Louisa didn’t write enough about him. We don’t even know what were the names of his parents!  
> Warning, I cried when I was writing this, so beware.  
> Important: Most of the dialogue is written in English, but really they are speaking Italian.

**London, 1871**

Spring arrived and Laurie knew he had to go back home. He thanked his coworkers and cleaned his office. But something told him it wasn’t time yet. He still had something to do, something he had avoided so far. He was able to avoid Italy when he went to Greece, and then he never thought of going there. Arming up in valor, he went to the station and bought a ticket for Florence. It was time he faced his past. 

  
  


**_Florence, 1857_ **

_“No!” Cristina said firmly._

_“It is the best school.”_

_“I don’t like it. I don’t want my son to be far away from us.”_

_“My father went there, all the men in my family had gone there.”_

_“Your father?! You’re just doing this to please him. Do you think that if you put our son in that school, he will forgive you?! A child needs to be close to his parents. You told me he sent you there to get rid of you, and now you want to do the same to Theo?”_

_“No, of course not! I’m just trying to do my best for him.”_

_“And I’m not?” She said, looking down exhausted from the fight. “Maybe you should have thought about this before deciding to come here.”_

_"What are you talking about? I left everything for you!"_

_"That was everything?! Then what are we?!"_

_"That's not what I meant…"_

_“I let you educate our son, but that doesn’t mean you get to say everything about his life. Theo wants to go to a conservatory.”_

_“He’ll go, in a few years. First, he needs this education.” He said in a softer voice, watching the concerned face of his wife. “Cristina...”_

_As the adult couple discussed, a little boy of ten years of age listened quietly on the stairs. He knew his father wanted to send him to a boarding school. He tried selling the idea to him a couple of times. But he had already told his mother he wanted to be a pianist like her. She looked so proud when he said that._

_“Theo,” he heard the voice of his nana calling. “What are you doing here?” She said, hearing the discussion in the next room. “Come on, your mother wants you already in bed.” She said holding his hands and taking him to his room._

_"I know it's going to be hard. But he'll come back during Christmas and the summer." James softened his voice and walked closer to her. "He'll make new friends and learn things."_

_"I don't want him to feel like we abandoned him."_

_"I'll talk to him. This really is his best opportunity. If he tells me that he hates it, that he wants to come back and go to the conservatory, I'll do it."_

_"I'm going to miss him."_

_"Me too," he lifted her head to make her look at him. "You know I love you, right? You're the best thing that happened to me."_

  
  
  


**Florence, 1871**

Laurie walked slowly to the graveyard, wearing a black suit. He passed next to various people visiting loved ones until he saw the ones he was looking for. He looked at them and his heart broke when he saw the names.

_In loving memory of_

| 

_In loving memory of_  
  
---|---  
  
_Cristina Laurence_

| 

_James Laurence_  
  
_Beloved wife, mother, friend  
_

| 

_Beloved husband, father, friend_  
  
_1822-1857_

| 

_1821-1857_  
  
“Hi, mom. Hi dad,” He sat on the ground in front of them. 

  
  


**_Florence, 1857_ **

_“Mama, why can’t you come to Sunday service with us?” Theo asks one day when he and his mother were reading._

_“Well, because your father and I have different views on God. I go to my own Church.”_

_“Don’t you both believe in God?”_

_“Yes, of course. But we were raised differently, we have our own traditions. Here in Italy, we are Catholic, Americans like your father tend to be protestant.”_

_“Father says that the school will continue teaching me religion.”_

_“Yes, it will,” she said trying to hide her sad tone. She had agreed, but that didn’t mean it was easy for her._

_“Do I really have to go?”_

_“Your father wants you to have the best education. But listen to me,” she said, taking her hand. “I raise you to be a good, honest, and kind boy, and when you come back during the Holidays and summer, I expect you to be the same. It’s so easy for young boys to lose their way, and I’m not going to be there all the time to take care of you. You must promise me you’ll keep being my boy,” Laurie nodded fervently. “And one day you'll become a good, honest, and kind man,” Cristina said, without knowing how true those words were going to be._

  
  
  


**Florence, 1871**

“I’m sorry it took me so long to come here. God, this is harder than I thought,” he said, throwing his head back, trying to stop the tears from falling. “I just want you to know that I think about you all the time. I miss you every day. But I’m getting better. Boarding school was a little hard. People now call me Laurie.” he said, half crying, half laughing. “I went to America to live with Grandfather. It wasn’t easy either. Eventually, he let me play the piano. I guess it hurt him too much to hear me play, because of Aunt Mary and then you… I didn’t go to a conservatory, but I graduated with honors! From Harvard. I’m working for Grandfather's company. I did try to be a composer, but I didn’t have what it takes. I still play the piano, though. Don’t worry, mom. And don’t worry about Grandfather, he did his best. And he grew softer. Thank god for the March family. Oh, mom, you would have loved them. Did you meet them, dad? They are wonderful. They treated me like one of their own. They are four sisters. Meg ended up marrying my tutor and their son is my godson, oh and Beth is a pianist! She’s shy, but she’s lovely. Jo is my best friend, she's awesome. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her. You would have liked her, dad. She’s very special. I… how did you know mom was the one? Because for a while I thought she was it… I was wrong. But I think I found her. Her sister Amy… she’s… she’s everything I want. She’s smart and kind. And she’s beautiful. She loves painting, she did your portrait. She’s ambitious and bold. And she does all of that with grace and elegance. I wish you could meet her. And she loves me!” He said and lowered his head remembering what happened in Vevay. “But I screwed up. My friends blame it on my Italian roots, I was too impulsive. And I ended up hurting her. If she’s right, you already know all of this,” he said remembering their conversation at the Church. “But I’m fixing it. I promise. She just makes me want to be a better man. She definitely deserves more than what I gave her before. Is that how mom made you feel?” He said cleaning his cheeks from all the tears that kept running down. “Ahh, god. I promise I’ll come as often as I can. And I’ll go to Church, also.” He said exhaling heavily before standing up. He brushed some leaves from his suit. “I love you.” He said, walking out of there.

  
  


**Florence, 1857**

_Laurie was tucked in his bed but unable to conceal sleep. He heard his mother's heels approaching. She sat next to him. “Caro mio, torneremo tra poche ore.” She said, caressing his hair. Laurie nodded and felt his mother kiss him on his forehead. “Sleep well, son.” His father said from the door._

_That was the last time he saw them. They were going to a concert but they never came back. When Laurie woke up he heard a few voices but none of them were his parents. “Theo,” his nana came in. “Come, sweetheart, we need to get you dressed.” She said trying her best to hide her tears. When he was ready, she took him down to where the rest of the people were reunited. He could see two officers with a woman._

_“Aunt Sonia?”_

_“Honey,” she said walking towards him and kneeling in front of him. She looked at him trying to control her voice to speak._

_“Did you sleep well?” Little Laurie nodded._

_“Where’s mom and dad?”_

_“You remember your parents went to a concert?” She said and proceeded to tell him what happened._

  
  


**Florence 1871**

_“You have a family with us, never forget that,”_ Laurie remembered Aunt Sonia’s words as he approached the house. The facade was familiar since he spent a lot of time in this house. 

“Buongiorno, questa è la casa di Sonia Rossi?” Laurie asked.

“Certo, chi la chiama?” Asked the maid. 

“Sono Laurie Laurence. Theo Laurence,” he corrected, remembering his name from before the tragedy. The maid excused herself, going to search for her mistress. It didn’t pass long before he heard someone approaching quickly. 

“Theo?” he heard a woman calling him.

“Hi, Aunt Sonia.”

“Oh Dio Mio,” she said, walking towards and hugging him tightly. Something about it felt extremely familiar and loving. She held his head in her hands. “You’re a man now.” She said, noticing he was now taller than her. “How have you been, sweetheart?” He said, erasing all doubts about her reception.

  
  


**_Florence 1857_ **

_“Did they express their wishes about who should get custody of the child?” Asked one of the officers. Laurie went with his nana to eat something before the funeral._

_“I don’t know. Cristina has no relatives, James’ father lives in America.”_

_“Then he’s responsible for the boy.”_

_“He doesn’t even know him,” Sonia said. She knew the whole story of James leaving America to elope with Cristina. She took charge of the funerals and of writing to Mr. Laurence. She even offered to take Laurie in, but the old man refused. He immediately asked for custody and left her out of it. The last thing she heard about Laurie was that he entered a boarding school in France._

  
  
  
  
  


**Florence, 1871**

“So, how did it go in America?” Sonia said as she poured tea on his cup.

“Better than I thought. I studied at Harvard.”

“That’s good! Are you going into business?”

“Yes, took me a while but I like it. I’m actually shipping back to the States to work there.”

“What else? Do you have friends?”

“Yes, a lot. It was difficult at first. But I met wonderful people. My neighbors, the March family, were very kind and they treated me like one of their own.”

“I was so worried when you left. I offered to take care of you, but your grandfather refused.”

“I know. Grandfather grew softer with time… I went to see their graves.”

“I try to go frequently, keep it clean.”

“I noticed. I’m sorry, I didn’t come any sooner.” He said ashamed.

“I knew it was going to be difficult to communicate. I can’t believe it’s been 14 years! But you’re here now.”

“I didn’t forget you.”

“I know,” she said. “Carlo, is that you?” She said, hearing the door closing. 

“Mama,” a young man, maybe a year younger than Laurie entered the room and kissed his mother cheek. 

“Look who’s here?”

“Carlo? Hi, Theo Laurence.”

“Jesus!” The other man said looking him up and down. The boys clearly remembered each other and Sonia was glad of that. She left them to catch up. 

“How is everything? You disappear one day.”

“I know.”

“How was America?”

“Good, really. Maybe you can come someday.”

“I’m working in the theater. Are you still playing?”

“Yeah, though not professionally. I’m working now for my grandfather's business. It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’m actually enjoying it.”

“Well, as long as you’re not unhappy. How long are you staying? I want you to meet my wife.”

“You’re married?”

“Yes, two years ago,” he said proudly. “Mother loves her and she’s expecting.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Congratulations.”

“I know. What about you? Any luck?”

“I’m working on it.”

“This might help,” Sonia entered the room with a box. “Your grandfather requested all your father’s belongings. And I kept hers. These were her favorite ones.” She opened the box to reveal beautiful necklaces, bracelets, and rings. Laurie grabbed a metal comb with flower designs. He remembered her mother wearing it frequently. He also found their marriage rings and her rosary, the one he told Amy about. 

“Thank you.”

  
  


He stayed for dinner and he remembered what it was like to have a good Italian meal. He missed this, not just the food, but the people. Over the course of years, he heard people misjudging Italians. They were considered too impulsive, too passionate, and carefree. And maybe there was some of it, but he liked it. He liked that they were loud, that they laugh and make displays of affection. He felt like an outsider when he arrived in America. Maybe that’s why he liked the March sisters so much. 

  
  


He stayed with them for a couple of days. He met the family and Carlo's wife. They talked about their lives and remember the good old days.

“You’ll write frequently, won’t you?” Sonia said before he left.

“I promise.”

Laurie came back to his room and lied on the bed. This had been one of the hardest things he had done, but he was glad he did it. The hole his parents left was never going to heal entirely, but at least now he felt closer to them. Now he could go back home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. I always love to read your comments :)


	15. Peace and sisterhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The March family deals with Amy's revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’re going to want to kill me. But please, read the notes at the end.
> 
> Oh and Happy Halloween to whoever celebrates that. In Mexico, we did a strange mix with the Day of the Dead, so it's all fun.

**_Concord, 1866_ **

_ “Jo why can’t you wake up on time!” Meg called her sister as she entered the living room. _

_ “I’m sorry. I stayed up all night reading this Shakespeare story: Midsummer Night’s Dream!” Jo excused herself. “It’s a comedy about these fairies and dukes and four young Athenians. Lysander and Hermia love one another, but her father wants her to marry Demetrius. And they run away. And Helena is so in love with Demetrius it’s so pathetic. The fairies have these juices that make people fall in love with the first thing they see. So the queen of the Fairies falls for a guy with an ass head!” Jo said excitedly, but her sisters reacted with horror. “Oh and then, Demetrius and Lysander try the juice and fall for Helena and chase her around, but she doesn’t believe them and thinks they are making fun of her. And poor Hermia is left alone! But then everything goes back to normal at the end.” _

_ “Goodness!” Meg said at Jo’s summary. _

_ “Sounds rather cruel to me,” Amy confessed, being moved by Helena’s story. _

_ “It’s a comedy!” Jo answered defensively.  _

_ “I know, I heard you. I only said that playing like that with people’s feelings doesn’t amuse me.” _

_ “What do you know? This is Shakespeare! You have to see it performed, then you’ll see.” Jo said before going to the kitchen. _

_ “I doubt that,” Amy said in a low voice that no one heard.  _

It wasn’t easy for Jo to acknowledge her mistakes, she knew that. And her family knew it too. A couple of weeks passed after that night when Amy broke down. She hadn’t been to Orchard since then. 

Like everyone else, Marmee was still shocked by Amy’s revelation. She couldn’t help but feel guilty for not noticing it, for not paying attention. She felt like the worst mother.  


“When Amy was born, we had already lost so much, Beth was still little...And I was so tired.” Beth and Jo looked at each other sadly. “Meg offered to help and I let her, and then Aunt March was glad to take her, so I let her go. She was always so determined, so sure of what she wanted. Her dreams were as big as yours Jo, but she seemed to have an easier time when it came to socialize, so I didn’t worry she would struggle. And she began getting it, she would look for opportunities to learn and be who she wanted to become.” Marmee said. They remembered the art classes she got from Aunt March, the deal she got from the stableman to let her practice horse riding. The countless times she spent making her clothes presentable for calls and the creativity she had to make the most of the old dresses that her sisters left her. “When Aunt Carrol invited her to Europe, I thought that’s it, she made it. I was so relieved. I only got worried when she said she was going to marry Fred Vaughn, but then she rectified and talked about Laurie, but I never imagined...”

“Amy wanted to be like you.” Jo reminded her. “It’s true, she told us, before going to Europe. She aspired for nothing but a reflection of you,” Jo said sitting with Marmee to hug her. 

“And she did learn, she could have married Fred for his money and she didn’t,” Beth added. Jo nodded. 

“You taught her well, you didn’t neglect her. Amy is who she is today, because of you.”

“How did I not notice what she felt, then? I’m her mother!”

“Amy chose not to tell anybody. Besides, we don’t really know what happened there.”

“I know, but...”

“I’ll just go and talk to her,” Jo said.

“No, please Jo. Promise you’re going to let the matter rest. She’ll tell us when she’s ready.” Marmee asked Jo kindly. She knew her daughters too well. Trouble surely came when Amy and Jo were confronted. 

* * *

“Now, we put some shadows over here...” Amy said as she guided Daisy’s little hand. After the kids understood that Amy was one of their mother’s sisters, they began to open more to her. Daisy was still marveled at her and loved it when she visited. As any child, she loved drawing. So imagine her enthusiasm when Meg told her that Aunt Amy was an artist. Now they were busy drawing a bouquet of roses, while John took played Demi outside. 

“It’s so pretty!” the girl smiled at their work. “Mommy, look!”

“It is very pretty! Go show it to your dad and brother,” Meg kissed the girl who ran quickly to the backyard. 

“Those kids are so smart,” Amy commented. Marmee had written about it, and she believed it. Although now that she could spend time with them, she was surprised. 

“I know. Thankfully Jo is here to teach them,” she replied, noticing how Amy’s face changed at the mention of their sister. “Have you talked to her?” Amy just shook her head. 

“I think I’ve said enough already.”

“It could help you both.” Amy shook her head again. “Why did you never say anything to me? I thought you trusted me.”

“I do trust you, Meg,” Amy responded noting her sister’s worried tone. “It’s just that I thought it would be better this way. I mean, it was pretty clear since the first day that Laurie was in love with Jo, and then as we grew up everyone teased her about it hoping she’d said yes… I didn’t want to ruin that. That pitting look you have on your face right now, that’s what I was trying to avoid too.” Meg corrected her expression and extended her hand towards Amy’s.

“Oh, sweety. I’m not pitying you. It hurts me to see you like this.” 

“It’s fine. I… I just needed to get away for awhile. I thought being in Europe was going to help...”

“What happened there?”

“I don’t know. I swear I did nothing different. I was his friend… I might have been harsh with him in Nice because of all the nonsense he was pulling but it was never my intention to go further.”

“John heard a few things about Laurie. He didn’t like them.”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Amy replied. 

"So, what will happen when he comes back?"

"I don't know."

  
  
  
  


* * *

At last, Jo got sick of waiting and decided to go and see Amy. Her birthday was going to be next week and she was supposed to go to Orchard to celebrate. She had to do something. Without telling anyone she set to go to Plumfield. Estelle kindly told her Amy was in the room she used for classes. Her students had left half an hour ago and she was cleaning. Amy heard the door, but she didn’t pay much attention to it, then she heard footsteps towards her.

“There’s no need to level your guard, I come in peace,” Jo said entering slowly into Amy’s room. 

“Is everything alright at home?”

“Yes, we’re all fine. We miss you.” Jo said sadly. “Amy, I’m really sorry.”

“What exactly are you apologizing for?” Amy said in a somewhat harsh tone.

“For everything I guess. I...I always made fun of you, made you feel like your opinion didn't matter, that you weren’t wanted, and I judged you for things I didn’t understand. For not seeing how much you loved Laurie. I’m sorry that it made you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Jo.” When Jo made a confused look, she proceeded surprised that her sister would think such a thing about her. “I told Laurie, one can choose who to love. I lied. It hurts to know that Laurie loves you….but it’s not something he can control. Just as you can’t make yourself love him like he wants you to. And just like I can’t change how I feel, and believe me, I tried.”

"Has he written?" Amy shook her head. "Well, maybe his letters got lost or he's waiting until he can speak with you in person..."

"Don't justify him,"

"I'm not..."

"Be on my side! He was a stranger ten years ago, I'm your sister."

"I am!" Jo exclaimed.  “That's why I wrote to him...”

“Jo!”

“I just wanted to know what happened, and I thought you wouldn’t talk to me. But also I needed to know how he feels. If what you believe was true… If he was just playing with you and seeing you as a second choice. I would never forgive him if he hurts you like that. Was it really that bad, how he behaved in Europe?”

“If Laurie got to feel as I did, when you rejected him...he was aching. I just wished he would have taken it with dignity.”

“I’m sorry you got the worse part of it.”

“I scolded him.”

“It worked! Even Mr. Laurence says it. That boy...I warned him of losing his way” Jo signed, both girls laughing. “Whatever you decide, I’m here.” She said hugging her little sister.

“I thought you were going to hate me,” Amy said, still hugging her.

“I told you, I always wanted Laurie to be part of the family. I thought he had a chance with Meg, then I thought Beth was in love with him. And when that didn’t turn out to be true, I was hoping you might be the one.” Amy smiled at her sister’s frustrated attempts. The two women let go. “I have to go back. Please come for your birthday. Hannah will make your favorite and I promise I won’t let anyone mention Laurie at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My exams are done and I can give myself time to update my stories again. Yei! I still have to prepare final projects. I would complain, but this is my last month of college and I'm super emotional! It's so weird, I want it to end and at the same time, I'm terrified. That's why Little Womenhit me so hard, because it talks about growing up and leaving your childhood and younger years behind. 
> 
> Back to this story. I know this was not the reunion you've been waiting. And because of how patient you've been, I'm going to update again during the weekend at last the reunion we've been waiting for. I'm so excited. I just needed to fix Amy and Jo first. I promise, another chapter is coming!!! 
> 
> If you find the comedy in Midsummer's Night's Dream, please tell me where was I supposed to laugh. It's horrible, the whole play is men constantly abusing women, sometimes, sexually! And that specific bit of Helena being chased by Lysander and Demetrius is particularly cruel to me (And I thought it fitted perfectly for this story). Like, I really suffered reading that for the first time. If you laughed, I'll judge you. But I'm open to hear different opinions. 
> 
> I know Marmee was a good mother and she paid attention to all of her girls. However, in adaptations, she always seems to have a preference for Jo and leaves Amy to fend for herself. My sister and I watched the 2019 movie separately and we both agree that Marmee kind of let Amy be, because she knew her youngest daughter would be fine. It's like Louis from Malcolm in the Middle. She is willing to sacrifice one child to attend the other ones who do need help. That doesn't make her a bad mother, four children is a lot and it's understadable if they didn't all got the same amount of attention. Besides, for a while, she was basically a single mother because Mr. March went to the war. I'm definitely not angry at her for doing that, she trusted Amy.


	16. The real challenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can’t say, I don’t keep my promises.

_ It's easy to claim to be over someone if you haven't seen them, to say that they don’t affect you anymore and that you’re fine. But the challenge, the real challenge is seeing that person again, looking at their eyes, their smile, hearing their voice, feeling their presence close to you, and being able to say “this is not what I want anymore”.  _

Laurie arrived in Concord on a cold and busy Monday morning. His grandfather sent the carriage for him. It was weird, for once the town didn’t look much different. And yet, he felt a lot had changed. There are pros and cons to living right in front of the Marches. For sure, they will know that he was home and he didn’t know what to do with that. He received Jo’s letter right before leaving London. He read it so many times during the trip back home. So Amy ended up telling them what happened?! It’s not like he planned on keeping it a secret, but he was terrified. Her father must be planning his murder! Jo definitely wanted explanations. Where could he begin?

As he thought about this, he kept looking around as the carriage went through the streets of Concord. He remembered the first time he was there. Everything looked so new and unknown, and if he was honest, a little bit intimidating. He had spent five years in boarding schools and he could count the times he had seen his grandfather with one hand. All of the sudden, the old man decided to bring him to his town and live with him. Now, he looked out to see if maybe he could spot a certain blonde.

At last, he recognized the path that divided Orchard from his house. He saw nowhere outside. He greeted his grandfather. The staff was taking care of putting everything in his room. He took care of a few personal things, but they did most of the work. As he explored the house, he came across his parents' portrait hanging. He wasn't planning on showing it to his grandfather, but one day he came to his room and saw the painting still covered. His heartache a little bit, for seeing his parents and because it was Amy's work. Basically, he had time and it was still early. He could stay in the house all day, right? But that would be a little coward. Looking out the window of his room, he couldn’t detect much movement coming from the house. 

“Laurie!” He heard a female calling him. He decided to walk in his backyard, thinking he could be safe. It was someone he could recognize anywhere. He looked at her and he smiled. If he was being honest, there was a moment when he doubted whether Amy was right. What if he was just choosing the closest person available. But now he knew for sure, she was wrong. For seeing Jo brought happiness to his heart, but it was the relief and comfort one gets from a sister. 

“Jo!” He said and the two friends hugged. “Are you glad to see me?”

“Glad?! I missed you so much! Your grandfather told me you were arriving in the morning! It's almost sunset!” She punched him. 

“Ow! I’m sorry okay. I was resting and arranging things.”

“It’s fine. We had dinner already, but let’s go...” She began dragging him.

“No, Jo. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He couldn’t explain more, but Jo was able to read him. 

“Amy’s not here.” She said, but Laurie still looked hesitant. “You want to talk about it? You got my letter?”

“Yeah, I did. Sorry for not answering. It arrived the week I was returning and I thought it would be better to explain myself in person.”

“Come on, my boy,” Jo said, taking them to sit on a bench. There was a weird silence between them for a while, one that never existed between them before. Maybe the only time when they felt so awkward was during the proposal. “Are you okay? You look different.”

“So do you. New York did well on you.”

“Not as much as Europe did for you,” another moment of silence reigned. 

“First of all, let me apologize one more time for what I did. I was hurt and proud and tried to detach myself from you and everything to the point that I became someone I’m not, someone I even now hate. I became careless, irresponsible, selfish. And I guess I stopped writing for shame, I knew you all would be disappointed and didn’t want to hear you yelling at me. Although I deserved it. ”

“That’s long forgiven, Laurie.”

“Still.”

“Come on, there is something much more important that you need to clarify.”

“You were right,” he smiled at her. “You said someday I would find a lovely accomplished girl who would adore me and would make a fine mistress for my fine house. I know, this might come as a shock to you and your family. I know you and Amy always had a difficult relationship, but you love each other so much, I'm sure of that. And she grew up to be an amazing woman, Jo. She really is. She helped me more than I gave her credit for. She put me in my place when I was at my lowest. She is truly not afraid of being honest with me. For months I wandered across Europe wasting time and money, feeling sorry for myself and my broken heart. Until I met her in Nice. I was throwing away my life and she showed me how stupid I was being. But more than that, she inspired me to be better.”

“Are you completely sure?”

“Yes.”

“You love her. My sister, Amy?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Wow!”

“Let me just say this, I still love you. And I will always love you. But now I understand what you meant. You were right, we would have been a disaster. We were friends, and I confused my feelings. Jo, you will always be my best friend, but Amy is the love of my life. I think it’s the way it was meant to be. If I would have just given it time and listened to you… I know it would have happened eventually. And I’m sorry it took me so much time to understand it. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable for so many years, and for ignoring Amy for so long. If I could go back in time...It’s really pointless that thought.”

“Maybe, but you’re here now. Why didn’t you write to her? It’s been nine months!”

“I didn’t know what to say,  _ hey Amy remember me, the guy who broke your heart time and again, who insulted you and abandoned you in Nice and then in Vevay. _ ”

“That’s not how I would have started the letter, but maybe something would have been better than nothing.”

“I probably would ruin it again.”

“Come on, self-pity won’t help now. Tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know how much Amy has told you and I don’t want to intrude in her privacy.”

“She didn’t say much actually. Enough to let us know what she felt. It was more like a breakdown and she hasn’t said more.”

“We spent a month together in Nice, everything was innocent, I swear, but it was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Amy was focused on Fred Vaughn, she was ready to be his wife. And not because she was just interested in money and luxuries, although she carries them with amazing elegance. She wanted to help all of you, to have a better life. You should be very proud of her. We had an argument and made me leave for Vienna. But the thing is that I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And when you wrote back, rejecting me a second time. I finally understood my mistake. I find an excuse to be with her at Vevay. And things were going well. But once again I was selfish, I didn’t consider what she might be feeling and ended up hurting her more than I would have ever imagined. I swear the last thing I wanted was to cause her damage. I just had to say something, you’d understand if you saw how many suitors she got.”

“She only talked about Fred, but I guess she had more. I’ve seen her talking to some of them here.”

“Figured that would happen.”

“I don’t think she’s serious about any of them.”

“Can we be friends again Jo? You think we can go back?”

“No,” she said immediately. “Teddy, a lot has changed. We’re not kids anymore, we have so many responsibilities now. You’re in love with Amy! We’re always going to be friends, but some things have to change.”

  
  


Laurie didn’t visit the March house until the next day. Jo told him it would be okay, that for all that happened her family didn’t hate him. They received him with hugs and smiles, and he knew he was back home. He expected them to ask something, an angry look from Mr. March or Marmee, but they treated him like a son. 

  
  


Somehow Amy was able to disappear for a whole week. Jo had told him she was going to be Flo’s maid of honor and that could mean they were all over the town looking for thighs for the wedding. He kept walking around town, hoping to meet her somewhere, but she was good. Actually there was a moment where Amy was walking with Kate looking for some ribbons and silk when she saw him walking on the other side of the street. Luckily for her, a store was next and she pushed Kate into it. 

“What’s your problem?”

“Laurie is here.”

  
  


Sunday arrived and he knew she would go to Church. He didn’t want to abuse Sunday service and Amy’s devotion but he needed to see her. Besides, he did make a promise to his parents to visit the Church more frequently. When he was younger, his grandfather would take him and he would comply. But really, he hardly paid attention. That much is obvious for all the nonsense he pulled off in Europe. But now he was resolved to do better and make amends, and that included God. he admitted he was a bit resentful of him after his parents' death and everything that followed. 

He knew none of the other Marches attended Church like her, so that gave him the opportunity to see her alone. Or that's what he thought. Church is important for spiritual reasons but also for social reasons. Let’s be honest, a lot of gossip and reunions happened before and after the service. So he wasn’t much surprised to see Amy talking with friends before entering the building. She looked happy. His grandfather gave him a sympathetic look and they both went inside. They were a few benches behind on the other side of the place. The diagonal position allowed him to see her. 

Amy saw him, of course, she did. As much as she tried to avoid thinking of him, his return was the newest conversation in town. Everyone sort of knew about his failed proposal to Jo. And then, they also learned about some things he did in Europe. Not only bad things. Yes, those also arrived. But many also commented on his return as a dedicated man in his grandfather’s business. She had to hear all about it. Many people never understood why the Laurences were so attached to the Marches. Some still believe that one of the girls planned to marry him. It wasn’t long before people put two and two together and learned that Amy and Laurie were in Europe at the same time. Surely they met. Now they were both back and single. People knew she had rejected Fred Vaughn and a few other suitors and they wondered if she had been seduced by the young man. 

She heard him and his grandfather greeting some people before the service, but she didn’t dare to look at them. When she saw him in the street the other day, she skipped a heartbeat. She knew he was coming. Jo told her he was there, so she tried to prepare for that moment. But it wasn’t enough. So she decided to stay away as far as possible. It was the only way she could move on. In Europe she had been foolish, she gave in too easily and let him play with her. She liked having him around, and it had been long since they had been alone without the whole family around them, and so she let herself enjoy his company. How much did she regret that now?! She was not letting that happen again.

  
  


A couple of weeks passed, he entered to work at the firm. So he was busy in the mornings, settling into his new job and everything. The afternoons he hoped to see Amy visiting home, but that never happened. He gave it another week before he walked towards Plumfield. 

  
  
  
  


“Young Laurence is here,” Esther announced. She knew this would happen eventually. She wouldn’t be able to keep him away for long. She thanked Esther with a nod and a smile. She breathed slowly and went to meet him. 

“Laurie, what are you doing here?” she entered the drawing-room. Never had she made such a big effort to control her voice. 

“You’ve done a great job avoiding me.”

“Yeah, I can say the same thing about you.” She said coldly. 

“Do you have someone in Orchard telling you when it’s okay to go?”

“I’m just busy.” Laurie didn’t agree with her excuse but it was a dead-end and it would only upset her. But he wasn't wrong, Jo did help her.   


“Are you busy now? I just want to talk.”

“Yeah, alright.” She heard Esther moving stuff as she did the cleaning. “We can talk in the garden.”

  
  


“You told your family what happened.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” she quickly replied. “I thought I had learned how to keep my mouth shut. Apparently I didn’t.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, otherwise I would have never known...I just wished it would have been sooner.”

“Sooner for what?” Amy said. Damn it, her voice was breaking already. “This is exactly why I never said anything.”

“Amy...”

“No, listen. You don’t have to do this, you don’t have to come and say anything. You have no obligation to return anything that I said. In fact, you barely said anything. You have no duty towards me. Honestly Laurie, I just want to forget about the whole thing. I’m sorry.” Her hands were trembling.

“You shouldn’t be apologizing, you did nothing wrong. I’m the one who screwed everything up.” Laurie said regretfully, he wanted to hug her because she looked mortified, but he stopped himself. From now on, he was going to be much more careful with her. “I'm really sorry, for everything.”

“We can’t choose the person we love. You said it yourself. God knows I tried.” She replied, contradicting her words at the art studio. Still, she refused to look at him.

“No, I guess, we can’t. But one can choose what to do with those feelings.” He made a pause to see if Amy said something, but she didn’t. “I keep thinking about the Christmas ball, I should have danced with you from the beginning. You didn’t have to tolerate my bad mood all day.” Amy turned the other side as a tear escaped her eyes. “The things that I said in Valrosa… they were awful.” For Christ's sake, he basically wished her to have her heart broken, without knowing he was already breaking it. “I should have never blurted everything out like that at the party. You deserved better. Amy, please believe, I never wanted to hurt you. And I hate myself for how much I’ve already had. I know I deserve it, but I can bear knowing that you despise me.”

“You know that’s not true,” Amy confessed. There, she still loved him, and yet she wouldn’t look at him. She kept playing with her skirt and rings. She was nervous, it was like that day at the studio when she couldn’t stop moving her rings as she talked. 

“Please, let me be near you.” He said looking at the ground. 

“Of course we’ll be near, Laurie” Amy’s said, “You still live in front of my house and my family still considers you part of us, you  _ and _ your grandfather. I’m not going to ruin everyone’s peace for this.”

“What about us?”

“I can be civil and I hope you can too. But I don’t think it’s a good idea that we spend a lot of time together. We both have bigger responsibilities and it doesn’t make us any good to be involved in this drama. We’re not in Europe anymore.”

Laurie didn’t want to put more pressure on the matter. He never expected Amy to forgive him easily. He decided to listen to everyone who told him to let time pass. Aunt March needed to take one of her medicines, or at least that’s the excuse Amy used to cut their reunion short. So he just said goodbye to her, apologizing one more time, and left. She didn’t know that Aunt had moved to the chair next to the window of her room to watch the interaction. Esther told her Laurie was there. 

Aunt March was not an idiot. Amy’s family might have been blind, but not her. And it was since Amy stayed at her house, Aunt March could see how smitten Amy was every day he went to visit her while Beth was sick. Esther had called it cute, but to her, it was an inconvenience.

Once she went to Europe, Aunt March hoped those feelings would be replaced by some other young man. She became a truly beautiful lady, and men had taken notice of her since their arrival. Her answer to her prayers had been Fred. It wasn't that Aunt March wanted to force Amy into a loveless marriage, but like everyone, she knew that Laurie only had eyes for Jo. She might believe money to be important, and she would never allow anyone to call her a romantic but she loved Amy. She didn't want to see her get hurt. Fred was a good guy, and who knows, with time, kids and distance, she could learn to love him. Probably not with the same force that she loved Laurie, but love still. When Amy wrote about her refusal, she was so angry, she stopped writing for a while.  _ What a foolish girl,  _ she thought. Aunt Carol wrote once about Laurie and her suspicions about his interest in Amy. She couldn’t believe it. 

Aunt March was interrupted from these thoughts as she heard Amy walking towards her room. “Amy!” She called her.

“Yes?”

“Is the Laurence boy gone?”

“Yes, Aunt March.” She said sitting at the end of the bed. 

“You know, the last thing I want for you is unhappiness?” Aunt March asked. Amy looked at her. Of course, she knew that. Over the years she came to realize that their thought processes were quite similar. Aunt March just wanted them to be safe. They were both realists.

“I feel like there’s something wrong with me… I had suitors, good ones. But I couldn’t feel anything, at least nothing related to marriage.”

“It’s a hard decision to make.”

“How did you do it?”

“I didn’t,” Aunt March answered. “My parents arranged it for me. I knew him, he was a gentleman. With time we came to care for each other greatly. It was not the passionate plot of the novels you girls are so fond of, but there were respect and fondness. We worked well together. I miss him still.”

“I told myself respect was enough...It isn’t. I grew up watching my parents. I know they’re poor and they struggle, but...that’s love. I’m sure Meg is having difficult times, too, but her family is beautiful. I want that.”

“The Laurence boy can give you all of that, then. Mary told me he was very interested in you.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I watched Greta’s version in Italian. And in the kiss scene, when Amy and Laurie hug and he tells her that she despises him, she replies “You know it’s not true.” Now, I love the og dialogue, but this one line killed me because he now knows how much she loves him! It just went deeper than the English line. 
> 
> I rewrote the whole Jo and Laurie conversation. Originally, it was a letter (actually that was the first thing that I wrote for this fanfic!). But ultimately I decided to have a face to face conversation. Did you like it?
> 
> Did it meet your expectations??? I look forward to read your thoughts.


	17. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody on Tumblr commented that Laurie manages to propose twice without actually asking the question!!! And I found it hilarious and couldn’t resist. This is the last time where I make fun of Laurie’s poor proposing skills, I promise.

“So, how was Europe?” John asked as he poured Laurie a drink, his tone being sympathetic.

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” Laurie said before drinking.

“No, I just think you suck at proposals,” John said, this time smirking.

“Yeah, I guess that’s the joke of the season, now,” Laurie replied leaning on the couch, covering his face with the hand that wasn’t holding the glass. It should have annoyed him, but he imagined it was better to laugh about himself than letting others do it.

“You just need better timing and preparation. You finally got the girl right!” John exclaimed. Because even if he initially thought Jo and Laurie would be a good couple, it took him the experience of married life to understand why that would never work out. 

“You really think Amy is the right one?”

“Do  _ you _ think Amy is the right one?” John repeated.

“Yes,” Laurie said, lowering his head to stare at his drink as to hide the smile on his face upon thinking of Amy. “Yes, I know she is.” He said, surprising both of them at the choice of verb. 

“Saying the actual words might help to get a better result.” He added jokingly. He liked this, Laurie and him talking like men. They hadn’t been teacher and student for a long time, but it was until now that he could see how grown and mature Laurie had become. After sharing a laugh, Laurie turned concerned again.

“Give her time. She waited for you for seven years.”

“She doesn’t even want to see me.”

“It’s Amy. She’s angry and hurt… and she’s a March woman. They can be very headstrong but ultimately, they know how to forgive.” Laurie just nodded. “You’re not going to lose her, but you have to earn her.”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do.”

  
  


That conversation happened two months ago. Amy and he had been able to stay in the same room a couple of times, with the family. There was a bit of tension in the air, but Amy was able to attach herself to the kids to avoid speaking to him. Meg obviously noticed that, throwing her glances and telling her  _ stop using my kids as shields.  _ Overall, everyone was able to keep their cool and act as if nothing was weird. 

  
  


Their love lives might be screwed, but their professional ones were actually thriving. Amy wasn’t making outrageous amounts of money, but she was able to give Marmee a fair amount every month. Yet, she had enough to dress properly to attend events and make calls and save for her materials. Again, thanking Aunt March for taking care of Plumfield’s expenditures. 

Laurie was also doing a great job at the business. He had always been good with people and it showed. His grandfather still verified what he was doing, but he didn’t spend that much time checking his work as before. Soon enough, he would be able to retire and enjoy his last years in peace. 

  
  


Yet, there was a loneliness that he couldn't shake off. He spent time with his friends and family, but there was something missing. He knew what it was. Part of him was afraid that his feelings would disappear after a while as the ones he had for Jo. But they were more present than ever. He knew he had to talk to her, although he was terrified that it would only push Amy farther. 

So one Sunday when he crossed paths with Amy he tried to contain himself. He saw her walking towards him, head down watching her where she was going, carrying a briefcase that he presumed had her painting materials. When she looked up and saw him, she stopped for half a second before resuming her path. They were alone on the road, halfway towards the town. She must have been on her way to Orchard. 

“Good evening, Laurie,” she greeted him politely, yet maintaining her serious facade. 

“Amy,” he nodded and she passed by.   


“I’m sorry, I… I know you don’t want to talk with me and I get it, but…” she turned towards him. “I miss our conversations. Actually, it’s incredible that I never realized how many things we used to do together. You know, you’re one of the persons I had the most fun with, all the parties and balls.” He said looking at her attentively. She was wearing her Sunday best, her usual for Church. Something was different, though. It might have sounded bizarre to other people, but he noticed she was wearing a necklace with a thin cross. When did she stop wearing that ebony cross he gifted her years ago. She had it every Sunday ever since and he was sure he saw it while they were in Europe. He remembered because he loved seeing her with it. They were those kinds of small details, like her smile whenever he told a joke, or how comfortable she seemed to be spending the day with him, whether it was at a party or in the living room in silence. Those were the things that made him think he had a chance with her. 

“And frankly, I think you’re the one who understood me the best… I went to Italy, to visit my parents.”

“I thought your father was here?”

“He stayed in Italy with my mother. I think he would have liked that.”

“Right.”

“I went to see some old friends. I thought they wouldn’t recognize me, but they did” Amy just nodded. 

“I’m glad… I mean, I’m happy you went and met them again.”

“Yes, me too,” Laurie replied. How did this happen? How did it become so hard to establish a conversation with Amy? It used to be so easy. “I feel like, there are things I can only share with you and that’s one of them, so...” 

There was an awkward silence after that.  _ What the hell is he expecting me to say,  _ Amy thought.  _ Am I supposed to hug him and… _

“Have a good day,” he said, walking away before it got worse.

  
  


“Are you ok, honey?” Marmee asked, noticing Amy was absent during dinner. 

“I’m fine,” she said. “I’m just tired.”

“You work too much,”

  
  


Regardless of the status of their relationship, social life didn’t stop. If Laurie usually attended the parties of the high society for the fun of it, now it became even more important. After all, he was still a Laurence, the only Laurence, heir to a fortune and unmarried. Besides, now those events were a place to socialize with other men with businesses and new deals. In any case, it was always good to keep appearing in public and spend time with people. 

Some things changed. He enjoyed getting into more serious conversations, to be addressed as a respectable member of society, not only for his name but for his work. Now he just needed to get married and have a family to be fully grown up, but that was far away in his schedule, he thought. Another thing was different too. He was alone. Not alone, alone. A few of his friends were there and he got new acquaintances. It’s just that when he was younger, he would drag at least one of the Marches with him. And most of the time Amy was one of them. After Meg got married, she was the only March sister that enjoyed attending these sort of parties and she was naturally successful in them. Jo sometimes went, but just to hear the music and talk with him. 

He supposed Amy would still attend this party...maybe.

  
  
  


“If it’s not good old Laurie?!” Some other things never changed. 

“Hi, Tudor,” he greeted his old friend and proceeded to do the same with the rest of the group.

“How’s married life treating you?”

“It’s alright,” Tudor answered disinterestedly. “Not as good as Europe treated you, though,” he smirked. His friends started teasing him about the things they had heard.

“Come on, guys,” he pleaded.

“Alright, alright.”

“Hey, look there,” One of them pointed at the entrance with his head. They all turned and saw Amy arriving with Kate Bryant. She looked beautiful in a deep blue dress and her hair put in a stylish updo. Laurie smiled unconsciously.

“Talking about upgrades,” someone mentioned. 

“She’s living at her aunt’s house. It shows. She’ll probably inherit it all.”

“Hey, Laurie. You saw her in Europe?”

“Umm...yes. I went to see her a couple of times.” He answered nervously.

“She rejected Fred Vaughn! Who does that?!”

“His parents are quite relieved, though. Poor Fred went to Egypt,” 

“Do you know anything about it?” They asked Laurie.

“May heard she had quite the trope of suitors. She refused them all to work as a teacher,” Tudor mentioned when Laurie didn’t say anything. 

“That’s the only thing she said?” another one joked.

Laurie continued listening to his friends. There was a time when he enjoyed and even participated in these kinds of conversations. He used to talk about it with Jo, who didn’t like it at all. Now, it didn’t sound as entertaining as one time did. Maybe it was because they were talking about Amy, who he genuinely cared about. Or it could be that finally he grew up and realized how stupid those comments actually sounded. In any case, he didn’t like it. 

An hour into the party, Laurie found himself wandering through the guests when he saw Amy alone standing next to a window. He could have turned around and left her be, but instead he walked right towards her. 

“See, you finally got away from Mrs. Lamb,” he commented, expecting to be ignored or just nodded.

“Don’t tell her where I am,” she continued with the playful conversation. It came out naturally, without thinking. For a moment she forgot she was angry at him and talked to him as she always did, with a bit of flirting and familiarity. However, a few seconds later, she remembered and turned to the window again. Laurie sensed the shift and began to walk away. Amy closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Did you hear?” Laurie turned around as soon as she spoke. “They’re moving the Museum of Fine Arts from the Athenaeum to Copley Square”

“Really?”

“They need more space,” she said excitedly. 

“That’s great!”

“Director Loring is thinking about acquiring more artworks from American painters of course, but he wants to bring art from other parts. Have you heard about William Sturgis Bigelow?”

“The surgeon?”

“His son. He’s bringing Japanese artworks.” He opened his eyes wider. She remembered their visit to the art exhibition in Vevay, the one where they learned about Kintsugi. It had also been the moment when she met Elton and probably the start of his ridiculous behavior which ended in disaster. But for now, he could only think about the moment when the Japanese man talked to them about the pottery and how that was something only they would share. It was a moment for themselves. 

“And how do you know all of this? I haven’t seen it in the newspapers.”

“Not yet, but his wife is friends with Pamela,” she explained. 

As the conversation progressed, they relaxed more and more until they were talking like the friends they always had been. He achieved to make her laugh a couple of times and he felt victorious because for the last year he had only achieved to make her cry. They spend the rest of the party together. 

“This was nice,” Laurie said, walking Amy to the entrance. “I really missed talking to you.”

“Me too,” she gave in. Because regardless of how angry she had been with him, there was a part of her that wanted to forget all of that and just went back to normal.  You know, to the times where he would button her gloves and she would check his tie, and they would dance and have fun together. She missed him. He had always been someone she could be herself.  But she had resolved to stay away, she had to. Stupid brain and heart, why can't they agree on something. She managed to keep her resolve for a few months, but after it, she began questioning herself. Is it really worthy to hold this anger? It definitely wasn't helping to forget him.  


  
  


A few days later, the Laurences would be having breakfast when his grandfather spoke. “They are expanding the Museum in Boston,” he said, holding up his newspaper.

“Yeah, they’re moving it to Copley Square,” Laurie replied.

“How do you know?” the old man asked, the newspaper had just arrived and he took it first.

“Amy told me.”

“What?”

“At the Mrs. Lamb’s… last Saturday...”

“Oh,” his grandfather let him see his amazement. “That’s good. You’re talking again.”

“Yeah, I think we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People, I read the screenplay for Don't worry, darling!!! It is awesome. Like, I'm no expert or anything to say it's a good script, but it definitely made an impression on me. It's possible that it will change, but the overall idea is fantastic!!! I'm so excited!
> 
> Also, I need someone to clarify something. What do you know about an interview that supposedly happened between Harry Styles and Timothee Chalamet??? It sounds too good to be true. Please, help.
> 
> Anyway, this story is moving forward. What do you think? Was it too soon for Amy to forgive him?


	18. One more chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, did I took my time with this. But we are making progress.

“Good evening,” Marmee saw a young girl, standing at the door.

“Good evening. Can I help you?”

“You probably don’t remember me. I’m Grace Vaughn, I came here years ago.”

“Oh, of course. Come in, please.” Marmee directed her to the parlor where Beth and Jo were. “You remember Jo and Beth, then?”

“Of course. Hi!” The sisters responded to the greeting but were confused at Grace’s purposes. 

“Can I offer you something to drink?”

“I’m alright, thank you.”

“All of your family is here?” Marmee asked, fearing Fred would come too. 

“No. Father is coming for business. Frank and I tagged along and I convinced him to come here.”

“How long are you staying?”

“Just a couple of days. I was actually hoping to see Amy.”

“She doesn’t live here,” Jo answered. 

“She’s taking care of Aunt March in Plumfield. I’ll write you the address.” Marmee said, going to get the address.

“Oh Beth, it’s good to see you. Amy told us you fell ill. Frank would be glad to see you.”

“Amy told us Frank was also sick. It's good to hear he recovered too. He was so kind to me.”

“Well, you were also very kind to him, kinder than most people. We would never forget that.” She said and Beth smiled at it. Marmee entered the room again, having heard Grace’s comments. She was always proud of hearing good comments about her daughters.

“Here, it’s not very far away.”

“Thank you so much.” Grace said, taking the paper. “Maybe we could all see each other, to remember the good times. When everything was less complicated.”

“You’re right about that.” Jo mentioned. Grace left leaving the March women slightly confused.

“You think she’s here for Fred?” Jo asked them.

“I hope not. Laurie and Amy are starting to be friends again.” Beth said. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“You stopped writing.”

“I thought you wouldn’t want to hear from me. Seeing as I rejected your brother.”

“I was sad about that. I really hoped we could be sisters. And I tried to be there for Fred. But you were my friend before you started courting. I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“Can we be friends again?”

“Of course!” Amy said, hugging Grace tightly.

“Is he alright?”

“He’s fine. He’ll be in Egypt for a while and then he’s coming back to London.” Amy looked mortified. “Don’t worry. I love my brother but sometimes living in that house is suffocating… part of me is relieved you didn’t accept Fred’s proposal. And seeing everything you’ve done… Actually that’s part of why I came. You still have contact with Anne, right?”

“Sure, I haven’t heard from her in a while, is she alright?”

“Better than ever, she’s actually the one who convinced me to come. She should be here in a couple of days.”

“Here?”

“Oh yeah. She stopped in Boston but she has this idea which is a little mad and probably will not succeed but I think you’ll like it.” 

  
  


* * *

“Grace Vaughn!”

“Relax, Amy says she’s here to rekindle their friendship and a certain project that they have. I don’t know.” Jo tried to be calm.

“But what about Fred?”

“Don’t worry about him. Even if he came, she said ‘no’ once, she’s not going to accept him now that she knows you love her and she still loves you.” Well that was the thing, right? Laurie wasn’t sure Amy understood how he felt.

“Did she say that? That she...”

“Well she doesn’t talk about that. But you two have been talking and I have to say I’m grateful for the decrease in tension whenever we are all together.”

* * *

“How would you feel about creating a project with female artists.” Anne started. 

“A project?”

“Well, Bouguereau and others are still trying to let women into the Academy and he keeps getting laughed at. But we thought maybe we can do something of our own in the meantime.”

“Something like what?”

“A sort of network. You saw how many female artists were studying in Europe, and they keep coming.”

“What are you thinking of?”

“Well, you told me you are in Concord’s art club and you’re friends with some ladies from Boston… any chance they would be up for this?”

  
  


* * *

Anne’s idea was incredible and Amy hoped it would work. Marmee once told her and Jo  _ let the world know you’re alive.  _ It seemed like the perfect opportunity to do just that. But for now, she had to help Flo with the wedding. It felt like just yesterday they were cutting old magazines and making scrapbooks of their wedding day. It had actually passed eleven years. The dress couldn’t be the same, of course. Fashion has changed so much since then. But Flo can still have her lilies. 

  
  


Finally the lovely day arrived. Amy arrived with the bride to help her get ready, while the Marches and the Laurences got to the church and sat with the rest of the attendees. They watched the young couple lovingly, well most of them. Laurie spent most of the time listening to the priest talk of love while looking at Amy. She looked gorgeous, not outshining Flo, but still looking elegant. 

  
  
  


“What’s the matter with you?!” Jo said exhausted after bringing drinks for her and Laurie, who looked melancholic at the table. He had been finding himself in this position lately. The party had been going on for a couple of hours. And after dancing with Meg, Jo and Marmee, there was still one March sister missing. 

“It’s just… you know what people say about not appreciating things until you lose them?” He said as he looked at the people dancing. Jo followed his gaze and immediately understood. 

“Laurie, she’s Amy. She probably had half of her dancing card full before the ceremony even started.”

“Yeah,” he laughed lightly too. Deeply, he thought of Meg’s wedding and how he escorted and opened the dance floor. Amy always saved the first dance for him. 

  
  


At last an opportunity appeared and he approached as the gentleman she was dancing with thanked her and retired. “Is the next piece taken?”

“Eh… no,” she said, a bit startled. But taking his arm. “I haven’t seen you dancing.”

“Well, my best partner was taken,” he made her blush.

  
  
  
  


“Jo, you just arrived?” Marmee murmured from the stairs. She, Beth and Mr. March had returned home a couple of hours ago, but she heard noise and got up.

“Yeah, it was a lovely party.” Jo walked to her room, pitched dark. 

“Was Amy still there?”

“The last time I checked she and Laurie were dancing.”

“Let’s not interrupt that.”

"Goodnight, Marmee."

"Goodnight, dear."

  
  
  
  


This was nice. After months of not seeing her, a few more of cold and avoidance, they were finally getting closer. Regardless, something kept bothering him. 

“I know you forgive me… you have no idea how much that means to me…”

“Oh, it’s alright, Laurie. I know you’re sorry,” she said quietly. 

“But I don't know if you forgive because of what I said and did… I can figure out if you think I was wrong in saying it there and then, or if you think I was wrong entirely?”

“Laurie,” she took a step back, visibly nervous, but her arms stayed holding his.

“Please tell me it’s the first,” he said. Amy gave another step backward, looking nervous.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not that, Laurie. I believe you’re sorry. But,… you loved Jo since you were 15, you envisioned a life with her, a life I can’t give you.” She walked to sit at a table far away from everyone else. 

“That’s the thing! I don’t know what kind of life I wanted to have with her. And she was right, we would have been terribly unhappy. I might as well say, we would have ended up divorced. Jo is my friend, the best one, and we will always be close. But since I was in Vienna, I realized my romantic feelings for her were quite weak.”

“You hold onto them for so long.”

“And they disappeared as soon as I walked away.”

“You spent months drinking and wasting time after she rejected you...”

“It hurted so much, knowing that no matter how much I tried she was never going to accept me. I felt like an idiot, it was so humiliating. But when I looked back… call it growing up, maturing,... I realized you were right. It’s not worth it to ruin your life for someone who will never see you. But it is worth fighting for yourself and for those who make you happy.”

“Did you rehearse that?” she asked, smiling.

“I had a lot of time to think about all of this,” he laughed lightly. “I mean it, Amy. I’m truly happy with you. Being with you in Nice and Vevay was everything I needed. I was spiraling and you pulled me out. I could just be me around you.”

“That’s quite a revelation. But what if what happened with Jo happens with me? I can’t go through this again. I just can’t. You know how much this hurts, so please.”

“Well I’m not proposing. I’m just asking for one more chance… for both of us.”

  
  


There are benefits of not living with your parents and sisters anymore, Amy noticed. For once, they couldn’t be there all the time to tease you and watch your every move. She was definitely grateful that they couldn’t be there always while her and Laurie do courting. It felt strange, being courted by Laurie Laurence was something she never let herself imagine. Yet, it was happening.


	19. Fairytale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh this is exciting!

“What is it, sweet girl?” Amy asked as Daisy entered the living room looking upset.

“The boys say I can’t play,”

“Aww sweetie, that’s not fair,” Meg stood up to go to the backyard. “Demi!”

“You want a story?” Jo asked, watching Daisy nodding. Jo tapped the space next to her and Daisy went to sit with her. 

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess living in a small, lovely but poor castle. So the princess would draw magic scenes in her room and transform them to give them life, and horses were her best friends.” Amy smiled at this. “One day, a dashing prince with gorgeous eyes and perfect hair appeared. He was everything the princess could dream of, he was sweet and generous and he was the best dancer in the whole reign. And together they lightened up every party. But the prince lacked the gift of speech. And somehow he would always say the wrong thing. So, the princess got mad at him and swore never to speak to him again.” Amy looked up at her sister, but Jo kept telling her tale. “She ran away to a bigger castle, full of old furniture and clothes from the last century. There were paintings of old people, huge rooms completely empty of life, and antique tableware that the queen insisted on polishing every single day. The old queen spent her days sleeping and grumbling. People in town were scared. They said maids came in and never came out! So, the prince, trying to prove his love for the princess, armed himself up and decided to embark on a quest to save his love. He came across beastly parrots and countless obstacles, including a few suitors, until he reached her door and was able to rescue her. The princess was so thankful she gave him a kiss of true love and…”

“Daisy, go, you can play with them,” Meg came back interrupting the thrilling story. Demi came with her. The little girl approached her brother who hugged her and they both went outside. Meg rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen with Marmee, Beth, and Hannah, leaving the two sisters alone again. 

Jo smiled until she turned to see Amy watching her suspiciously. “What?” she asked with an innocent tone that Amy wasn’t buying. 

“Your story...”

“It’s a good one, isn’t it? You think people would like it if I publish it?”

“A little bit close to home, don’t you think?”

“Is it? Oh well, I’ve been finding myself rather inspired by my family lately.” Jo kept acting as if she was all innocent. But both were smart enough to know they understood just fine what she was trying to say. “But I guess I couldn’t expect you to like it. When you were little, whenever Meg sent me to tell you a story, you hated them.”

“They were horrible!”

“They had queens and kings, just like the ones Meg told you about.”

“Meg didn’t spend so much time describing the horrendous ogres in the forest,” she said, making Jo laugh. “They gave me nightmares!”

“Oh my god!”

“Remember, you poisoned Zara in the Christmas play!” They both laughed. 

“It’s a fairytale, Jo.” Amy went back to her serious facade.

“Doesn’t have to be.” 

“We live in the real world,” Amy objected.

“Why?! The real world sucks! We have lived in it and suffered from it too much, especially you. What’s so wrong in living in the fairytale for once.”

“Seriously, Amy. How long are you going to keep him waiting?”

“I’m not keeping him waiting! This takes time.”

“Alright, but your time in Europe must count for something.”

“I didn’t know what he was doing...”

“How could have you missed that! You’ve had dozens of suitors, you should be an expert by now.”

“Jo, we went out riding, we attended parties and balls, we danced, we had fun. It was nothing we haven’t done before!” She signed. “Look, I am not paying attention to anyone else, he knows it.”

“Mhmm, the town knows it. Mrs. Brown told Marmee how handsome you two looked going into town. A lot of tongues are wagging about it.” 

Amy didn’t say more, but a smile grew on her face. She turned to the window and saw Laurie and John playing. Maybe Jo was right. It has been a couple of months already. Everyone talked about it and was expectant. It’s not that she wanted Laurie to beg or anything, she wasn’t that kind of person. She was just too afraid. Obviously, she wouldn’t admit it, but the prospect of real, true love and a happy ending terrified her. She spent years working on the idea that Laurie was never going to be hers, that she was going to marry the best prospect even if she wasn’t madly in love with him. 

When Laurie started courting her, part of her feared that it wouldn’t be as good as she imagined. But it was totally the opposite. It was great. She was so happy. He was very attentive. Years of knowing her helped him to make interesting conversation. He even behaved properly to visit her at Plumfield with Aunt March. Even though the family was comfortable in letting them alone, the old lady insisted on respecting tradition in her house. They had gone riding a few times, blushing when their hands brushed as he helped her put the saddle on Rosa. They kept talking about art and music. Amy enjoyed hearing about his work, not exactly how many goods were traded, but the satisfaction and pride with which he talked. 

Laurie didn’t mind waiting. Just like the summer of last year, he decided to take things slowly. Of course, last time he ended up ruining everything, so he took extra care this time. At least this time John and his grandfather were around to ask for help. 

  
  
  


While all that happened, Amy got involved in her friends' project. Some women in the Art club weren’t as enthusiastic as her. Even though they adored art, they didn’t approve of women trying male professions. They were high society, conservative women at the end of the day. But some others supported her. She had been traveling to Boston once a week to see more people. A friend of hers invited her to the Boston Society of Arts and together with a few other women, pitched the idea of a fundraiser for the project. It helped to tell them of how attractive that new style was in Paris, the one who rebelled against the academy and threatened to upstage traditional genres. And since these bohemians were struggling, they weren’t so picky. Many women had shown interest in this more liberating art form. 

America was somewhat free from the new currents, but not for long. Amy made a case to support these women before they turn to the other side. She herself didn’t like the new style. This was a battle, they couldn’t afford to lose soldiers just because they wore skirts. 

They spent weeks organizing the event, talking with the director and patrons of the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. Just then, she realized the impact of her last name. People still remembered her father and mother, and all the work they used to do and still did. It didn’t come as a complete surprise that one of their daughters supported this cause. Grace and Anne went back to England to do the job there. 

  
  
  


At last, the day of the gala arrived. It was in the new facilities of the Museum and all members of high society were invited. Amy went there a day prior to help with the setting up. It was an exciting day for her. It had been more than a year since she returned home. Little by little she had climbed her way up, not with a husband’s name behind her but with her own. There were still those who saw her with reluctance. Being a single, working woman was still seen with uncertainty. However, since it was known that the Laurence heir was courting her, that image began to change.

  
  


Now Amy walked around the salon, checking everything was in order, busying herself. The orchestra had just begun to play and the place was getting crowded. 

“Mr. Laurence. It’s good to see you.”

“Oh dear, you look gorgeous!” The old man said. 

“Thank you so much for coming”

“Of course. Anything to support you, dear.” He looked at the two young fools looking at each other. “I’m going to greet some friends,” he said leaving them alone. Mr. Laurence had promised Robert and Marmee to keep an eye on them, to make sure they didn’t get into a compromising scenario…. Being alone again away from the family… But he wasn’t going to stay with them all the time. If anything, he wished his grandson would make this event advantageous. They had been friends long enough. So he did as he said and met some old friends while turning to see them every now and then.

“This looks nice,” Laurie mentioned.

“So far. Hopefully, people would donate enough.”

“If you dance with them,” she looked at him suspiciously. “So what do you want, the waltz is still free… would you prefer the quadrille or the polka?” He took her dance card and began looking at the remaining spaces. A few gentlemen had already claimed a dance. 

“It’s okay, any of them… the quadrille I guess.”

“How about both?”

“You just said I needed to dance with them.”

“Grandfather already has an amount in mind. It’s worth it.”

“Oh really, how much does it cost to dance with me?” Laurie closed the distance to her ear to tell her the amount.

“You’re kidding!”

“He wants to help and so do I. This is wonderful Amy. It’s a great idea.”

“You really think that?”

“I do.”

“Fine,” she gave in and Laurie gladly put his name in the three spaces and a couple more at the end of the party. 

“I’ll see you in a couple of pieces,” he said walking away, also to meet friends. 

  
  


“Laurie, let me present you Samuel Bishop.” One of his friends directed him to a group of gentlemen. The men talked and laughed a couple of times. He knew that name but from where? Mr. Bishop told him about his wife… 

“Laurie?” He heard a very well-known voice. He turned and saw her.

“Miss Randal, I guess it’s now Bishop.”

“For a few years now, Laurie. How have you been?”

“Good, working.”

“Is your grandfather here?”

“Yeah, he’s over there.”

“Honey, I need to see something.” Mr. Bishop told his wife and left them alone. 

  
  


“Can I ask you something?” Anna turned again to face him and nodded. “I’m not bitter about it, but why did you never accept any of my advances?”

Anna took a few seconds before answering, looking at him. “Let me answer with a question for you. Did you ever take me seriously? Whenever you’d send me flowers, did you ever honestly think we could be something?” Laurie opened his mouth, but nothing coherent came out. He stopped trying and lowered his head, disappointed in himself. “I don’t want to appear mean-spirited, Laurie. But I wasn’t going to waste my time nor my feelings on someone who I knew was never going to be mine.”

“I’m sorry,” surprised at how straight-forward she was. Maybe he did have a type. 

“It’s alright. I’m married now and happy. I love my family. And it looks like you also have someone,” she said looking at Amy. She turned back to see Laurie’s face of confusion. “What? Do you think nobody talks about it? Please. Besides you being too clingy, I can’t handle that.”

“What?!”

  
  


“Hey, trip down memory lane?” Amy said as Laurie got near. She noticed Anna and him talking before.

“I just said hi. Don’t worry,” he smirked.

“I’m not,” she snorted. She hated that Laurie was able to see she was a bit jealous. 

“I just needed some clarification. She said that I was clingy! Can you believe that?”

“Umm…” Amy looked around not sure whether she should answer truthfully or not. “yes?”

“What? I’m not clingy!”

“Yes, you are. I mean, I didn’t really see the extension of it until we were in Europe… I guess Jo handles most of it, but you do require a lot of attention.”

“Oh my God,” he said looking at the drink in his hand, clearly ashamed. 

“It’s ok, Laurie. Quite understandable actually,”

“What do you mean?”

“You have just been through a lot,”

“You mean my parents?”

“Yes. I’m no expert, but I understand why you need so much reassurance. My father went to the war when I was 10 years old and we feared to receive a letter telling us about his fate all the time. I can’t imagine what you felt.”

“No one ever said anything!”

“It’s alright, don’t make such a big deal about it. You know my family. It doesn’t bother me. Do you really think I needed you to know everything that happened in Europe?… I knew you were homesick because  _ I _ was homesick but at least I had my uncles and Flo...”

“And your suitors,” he was quick to add, earning a roll of eyes from her.

“What I’m saying is that writing to you helped me not miss home so much and I hoped it would help you too. And they were nice, the letters.” 

“They really were. I like yours too. I didn’t write to you because Jo asked me to, she just gave me the push I needed to do it. I need you to know that. Did you buy my excuse to go see you in Switzerland?”

“I didn’t put much thought into your reasons, I liked having you there.” She confessed and silence followed as they didn’t know what to say next. Fortunately, the orchestra announced the next piece. 

“I think that’s the polka I signed for.”

“Yes, it is.”

  
  
  
  


Amy could dance all night if she had to, she loved it. More than that, she loved to dance with Laurie. It had been one of the things she most appreciated about him and made her fall in love with him. Here she was enjoying a delightful evening with the man of her dreams. Maybe Jo was right, maybe she could give in to the fairytale.

“What?” Laurie asked as Amy looked at him while lost in her thoughts. “Are you alright?” Laurie asked, keeping a close distance between them. 

“Yes,” Amy answered. With her throat almost closed, Laurie barely heard her. “I just need some air.” She said after clearing her throat. She took a step back from him and walked away. She made her way out, careful not to attract attention as she slipped away.

“Hey,” he called her. He followed her to one of the rooms apart from everybody else

“Is this real?”

“Uh, this?” he looked around confused. “Yes.”

“Us,” now Laurie understood. “And I...” Amy couldn’t complete that sentence. Laurie just grabbed her jaw and pulled her towards him. It was a chaste kiss, barely opening their mouths but it was perfect. Suddenly all that heartbreak they both went through faded. And even though it wasn’t a first kiss for either of them, it sure felt like the most special one. It might have lasted five, ten seconds, but it was life-changing. 

In a family where each member had their special, pure talents, social life was Amy’s strength. Beth was gentle, Meg was polite, Jo was upfront, but Amy was eloquent. And yet, here she was speechless. Laurie withdrew a few centimeters as he caressed her cheek with one hand and the back of her neck with the other. 

“I love you, Amy. More than anything or anyone in the world. I made mistakes in the past. You are first in everything, Amy March.” That was just too much for Amy, so instead of replying, she just kissed him again. This time there was no doubt, no fear of being rejected. She gladly gave him access to her mouth and that was it. 

“I’m sorry,” Amy laughed as she cleaned the tears. “I love you. God, it feels so good saying that now,” he laughed too and offered his tissue. He kissed her cheek again and embraced her, letting the moment sink for a few seconds. 

“They’re going to wonder where we are.”

“Grandfather must be tired.”

“Go. I need to use the lady’s room, make myself presentable again.”

“You’re beautiful,” he said, quickly kissed her temple, and went back to the salon. 

  
  
  
  


“How was the gala?” Jo asked curiously. 

“It was fine, people donated a lot.” That was not the answer Jo was looking for. Amy was well aware of that, her sister had never shown interest in those sorts of events. She sat down next to Beth and began her embroidery.

“Did you see Laurie?” 

“Yes,” Still not the answer she was looking for. Amy had decided to make them suffer a little bit.

“Did you talk?”

“Yes, Jo. We talked, we danced, we’re fine.” Amy said.

“Agh, I knew nothing was going to happen.”

“I didn’t say that,” Beth and Jo looked at each other and then at Marmee. The three of them opened their eyes widely and smiled. Amy left her work on top of her legs and looked at the three of them and smiled. “Marmee, Laurie would like to talk with you and Father. Can it be tonight after dinner?”

“Yes, of course,” Marmee answered, still incredulous of what Amy was saying. 

“Great,” she went back to her work, acting like it was nothing special, although she was dying inside. Suddenly she felt Jo’s arms around her. 

“I knew it!” Jo said. She hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek.

“Jo!” Amy screamed. The needle had pinched her finger when Jo moved her.

  
  


That night Laurie arrived in his best suit. This situation could be quite daunting for young men. He didn’t fear a refusal or anything alike, but after his behavior towards Jo in the past, then in Europe, he wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. March frowned at him. His grandfather assured him that everything was long forgiven and that the man was looking forward to Laurie’s visit. Besides, he would never oppose her daughter’s decision. If Amy had accepted him, then he would welcome him with open arms into the family. 

“You’ve come far, Laurie. Your grandfather is very proud of you.”

“Thank you.”

“I trust you’ll take care of my daughter,” the older man said, not as a question but as a statement and a promise.

“I sure will. I want nothing but to make her happy.” He said and the two gentlemen shook hands. 

“I’m so glad to call you my son,” Marmee went to hug him.

  
  
  


The next day, he surprised Amy by taking her to the river close by boat. The day was the most beautiful. Even though it was the middle of autumn, it was warm. He was going to do it, she knew. She kept playing with her fingers and the row. At the same time, she was trying not to appear anxious, although she was dying inside. Aunt March insisted on her staying at Plumfield in the evening, stating that Laurie should do this according to tradition.  _ If there’s anything that that boy is going to do properly, is this.  _ It was a matter between him and her parents. 

In the morning, she went to have breakfast with Esther, only to find a gorgeous flower arrangement waiting for her at the foyer. She smiled from the steps of the staircase and walked right towards it. Esther was humming some French song in the kitchen. The old lady had noticed the sparkle in her eyes since Amy came back from Boston. She knew very well the reason. 

There were her favorites, white and light pink roses. She approached to take their scent, just like she did all those years ago when Laurie surprised her by gifting her the vases he bought at the Chester’s fair. He had called her “magnificent”. She remembered taking one of them to her room and a few of them to her little chapel in the closet. And then, another thing caught her attention. She saw the vase. It was like the one they saw in Vevay, broken down, and put together with gold. 

Now they were alone, on a boat. “Did you like the flowers?”

“They were beautiful. Thank you. I love the vase more. How did you get it?”

“I have it since we were in Vevay,” he confessed, surprising Amy. “Would you believe me if I told you that’s when I knew? I made bad decisions, chose the wrong person in the past. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t right. You are the right person for me. I know it. I love you so much. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be here if it weren't for you, either.”

“I guess we both have helped each other,” he said watching her blush. “When I was in Italy, Aunt Sonia gave me my mother’s jewelry” He pulled a small box from his pocket. “This was her favorite.” It was a silver band, the rock was not big nor small. It was perfect. Luxurious but elegant, not too ostentatious, but enough to tell the quality. 

“Your mother had good taste,” they both laughed lightly. 

“Amy March, would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

“Yes, I would,” she answered. No hesitation or doubts about the future. All the manuals about courting stated that a lady should never answer straight away, but Amy had had enough. She wanted to be happy now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, Gilmore Girls inspired me to write the fairytale Jo tells Daisy.
> 
> I actually rewrote the kiss because the original one was super cheesy. It was too much. 
> 
> What do you think????


	20. Happy ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it!!!

Wedding preparations are exhausting, no matter the period you live in. And when the heir of one of the richest families in Concord is getting married to a woman like Amy March, it becomes a matter of public interest. 

Amy had been dreaming of her wedding since she was little. Hell, she had it all planned out. And then Meg married John and everyone loved that wedding, that small, austere, and intimate wedding. She loved it too, it was very romantic. But it wasn’t exactly what she imagined. She always knew she would marry a wealthy man, so her plans have always been big, elegant, and tasty, but big, bigger than Meg’s. And it wasn’t that she wanted something lavish, she wasn’t going to Laurie’s fortune on it. And yet she wasn’t sure how to bring up her ideas. People’s feelings might get hurt. 

She decided to talk with Laurie, ask him about his wishes for the wedding. He responded like a gentleman, letting her handle everything. He knew a wedding was more a woman’s affair. Although men could use it too to invite important guests. His grandfather knew it. And if Laurie was honest, he wanted a nice wedding. God, the boy might have been a mess for a while, but he was born a romantic. 

Now Amy found herself in the attic of her childhood home, looking through her old scrapbook. Hannah had taken Beth to the market, Jo went out, Marmee was in the garden, so she let herself in. She was so focused, she didn’t hear her mother coming up. 

“That’s very cunning,” her mother hovered, looking at some sketches of flower arrangements. 

“Oh Marmee,” Amy jumped.

“May I?” Amy handed her the book. “I remember when you and Flo made this. You went to describe it all to Meg.”

“We were girls, it was a long time ago.”

“Not that much, really. I doubt this hairstyle is still popular, but you’ll look gorgeous anyway. The Church will look lovely, though,” Marmee mentioned, seeing the decoration of the building.

“I’m not sure that’s going to happen.”

“Why? Laurie doesn’t like it?”

“No, he does. It’s just that I suppose Father wants to perform the ceremony, and...”

“What matters is what you and Laurie want. I know you are fond of Minister Clark. You and Laurie attend Church every Sunday. And your father is still going to have a role in the wedding. Meg had the wedding of her dreams and so should you.”

  
  


That conversation helped Amy get the confidence she needed. After that, preparations get on smoothly. Then the holidays came and it brought a very special surprise for everyone. Just as everyone was arriving to celebrate a family dinner, a guest came unannounced. Amy found herself visiting the Laurence mansion twice or thrice a week. The old man appreciated her company greatly. For a while, he had stopped going to work, only stepping in office every now and then. He couldn’t wait for Amy to move in. For decades, it remained a sad and lonely space. He still remembers when the girls started coming, how much light came with them. 

That day, she went to visit. Laurie came from a meeting and the three of them made their way, not without Amy checking his tie. They arrived at Orchard house and heard a few voices already. Meg must have arrived with John and the kids. And then the biggest smile drew on Amy’s face when she saw a tall man, probably in his mid 30s and a foreign accent. But what struck her the most was her sister's face. Did she look... happy? It looked like that. Was she blushing?? Amy wanted to know everything about this man, and it seemed everyone was the same. 

“I told Jo she should invite the professor to the wedding.” Amy mentioned a couple of months later. Bhaer had stayed in town and there were no signs he was leaving. It entertained Amy, watching her sister finally pining after someone. She had to admit, they had very different taste in men. At the same time, she could see the appeal from Jo’s perspective. 

“I shall think he wants a wedding for himself and our Jo,” Laurie said. 

“Yes, I feel that too.”

“I wish he was younger and had a better state.”

“Now you care about that?”

“Don’t tease. I just wished he could give Jo a comfortable life, one where she can write whatever makes her happy, not what she ought to.”

“Maybe there’s a way you can help them.”

“You mean  _ us, _ ” Laurie corrected his bride. “What’s mine is yours too.”

“You know I’m not marrying you for your money, don’t you?”

“After everything we’ve been through? No, I would never do that.”

  
  
  


April arrived with all the excitement of the wedding. Everyone looked handsome and beautiful and happy. As for Amy, she was wearing a gorgeous and _in-vogue_ dress, with a light bustle and a short train. Marmee did the veil and she carried flowers from the Laurences’ garden. Her hair was braided similar to her usual style and adored with Cristina’s flowered comb, although a little bit more luxuriously for the event. Everyone smiled as she walked down the aisle. There were Mr. Laurence’s business partners. He was so happy to invite them. When his son married he did it in secret, so there was nothing to celebrate. Now he could proudly stand next to his grandson as he married a lovely girl. They also invited their friends, some of them past pursuants of her affections. It had been an awkward situation, but not as uncommon as one might think. It's a small town after all. Some of them, already were married and over their crush, but the memories were still there. For sure, Laurie endured their teasing. Regardless, they had had months to get used to the idea of Amy being Laurie’s wife. Amy's friends were there, as well as the lady's from the club.  


Laurie was delighted in inviting his Italian family, too. After a few pushes from Amy, he finally got the courage to talk to his grandfather about his visit to Italy. The old man remembered Sonia. He admitted feeling guilty at his treatment of her, she only wanted to help and he insulted her. Laurie was happy that his wedding was also a moment to make amends and ask forgiveness. 

“Amy, I would like to present you to Sonia Rossi, my mother’s best friend,” Laurie presented to her during the party.

“Aww dear, It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” she said.

“Likewise. Laurie has talked so much about you,” Amy replied. 

They didn’t write vows. Both of them preferred to leave those promises to each other in private. They repeated after the minister, said “I do”, put rings on each other’s fingers, and kissed. 

Everyone would agree that Amy smiled wider than ever before at the party, dancing with Laurie. And no one would say the opposite of Laurie. Aunt March attended, she was unable to dance this time, although she did enjoy conversation with others. She was glad God allowed her to live long enough to see one of her favorite nieces getting her dreams to come true. Estelle attended too. She happily watched the boy who once visited the little girl every day and fell asleep in the drawing room. 

“You’ve got a treasure, young man, see that you deserve it,” Aunt March repeated to him the words once told to John when he married Meg. 

  
  


As time went by, people started to leave the party, congratulating the young couple and wishing them all the luck in the world. Yet, both of them received smirks and one or two indirect messages about that night. The March family hugged them and left lastly. Marmee and her husband left earlier, but the sisters still had energy to celebrate. But at last, they left. Listening to the silence in the house they knew it was time to consummate their marriage. Mr. Laurence had gone to sleep a couple of hours ago. Thankfully, his room was on the other side of the house, so they wouldn’t worry about disturbing him. 

They both knew that it was time and went to get ready upstairs, in separate rooms. Laurie doesn’t remember being this nervous the first time he was with a woman. He doesn’t remember much of it, if he was being honest. Back then, he was depressed and angry, and he thought it would make him feel better. But it didn’t mean anything. Now, he was about to consummate his marriage with Amy. He took a deep breath as to how far he’d come in the last couple of years of his life. It had been a rollercoaster, but finally it placed him where he belonged. He got into his night clothes and waited a few minutes for Amy to be ready. 

Amy was even more anxious. Her palms were sweating and she kept drying them in her nightdress. Her maid was preparing her for this night. She brushed her hair only holding it with a white ribbon on a low ponytail. Amy looked at herself in the mirror, fully aware of the change her life was going to make from now on. Not only because she will finally lay with her husband, which was enough to make her knees tremble, especially because it was Laurie. 

“Are you nervous, ma’am?” The young woman asked.

“Yes. My mother and sister said it doesn’t hurt, but...”

“It’s going to be fine. I have no doubt that Mr. Laurence will take good care of you.” The maid interrupted her, reassuring her. Amy responded with a smile through the mirror. “You look beautiful.” She said once she finished preparing her. 

“Thank you.” Amy answered, hoping Laurie would find her beautiful, too. Almost like clockwork, they heard a knock on the door. The maid smiled at Amy and squeezed her shoulder as she went to open the door, while Amy stood up, straightening her nightdress and adjusting her hair. 

“Mr. Laurence.” The maid said, nodding to Laurie. She opened the door wider so that she could exit. Laurie replied politely and entered the room. Once the door was closed it was only them. 

“Hi,” Laurie said, looking at Amy sweetly. 

“Hi,” she replied timidly. 

“Are you alright?” He said getting closer to her. 

“I’m just nervous. It will pass.”

“It’s okay.” He said lifting her chin to kiss her chastely, leading her to sit next to him at the side of the bed. “We’ll do this at your pace. This is our moment. We have all night, or any night you want.” He said, even though he couldn’t wait to be with her, he was willing to do it for her. 

Amy nodded, exhaling heavily. “No, I want to be with you.” She responded immediately, making Laurie smile. 

“Good.” She said kissing her, this time more passionately and longer. Amy held his arm which was holding her head. They separated to catch their breath but keeping their foreheads together. 

“Perhaps we should get under the covers.” Laurie was happy at Amy’s enthusiastic suggestion, and so they did. Amy got on her back while Laurie climbed on top of her. They just continued kissing and touching over the night clothes. 

“Did you get a chance to talk with Marmee about this, or Meg?”

“Yes, they said I should trust you. That I should enjoy it.” Laurie nodded in understanding. The intensity of their kisses increased. He abandoned her lips to go for her neck, as his right hand traveled along her thigh, under her night dress, until it settled between her legs. Amy grabbed tightly his right shoulder and Laurie stopped kissing her. They looked at each other, him trying to see if she liked it. She panted, closed her eyes, and kissed his cheek, which told Laurie that it was ok. He continued until she was wet enough for him. By that time, Amy was already watching stars. 

“You’re ready?” he asked her and she answered positively. He got off her and took off his pants. He sat up on top of her and raised her nightdress. Amy tried to hold her sight on his eyes, but they traveled downwards to see him. As an art student, Amy had seen plenty of male bodies in sculpture, paintings, sketches and anatomy books. She had done a few drawings where she depicted naked men, going beyond her teacher’s and society’s limits. Her little act of rebellion. But she never dared to attend a secret modeling session, even less having illicit encounters with European men, not for lack of offering. 

He went back to kiss her lips before he entered her.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, it just feels… pressure.”

“It should go away soon,” Laurie said kissing her face as Amy nodded, breathing until she adjusted to the new feeling. She caught Laurie’s lips and kissed him, indicating to him that she was ready. He started to go back and forth slowly, while Amy held his arms, moaning quietly. One of Laurie’s hands traveled to her breasts to feel it. He knew how to do this. He had been with plenty of women, a few of them virgins who couldn’t resist his charms. This was not the time to think about that. Amy was not one of them, she was his wife. There was no need, no desperation to do it, cause they’ll have a lifetime to do it multiple times. 

After a few strokes, she began to catch the rhythm and go alongside him with her hips. Meg said little, always being the prude sister. She didn’t want to share much, since she was the big sister and everything. Flo was more open to discuss the matter, seeing as she had recently done it. 

“You want to be on top. It might be easier for you,” he suggested. Laurie was more than comfortable with the change and held her sides to help her. After a few moments, she felt the temperature ascending more and more. She stopped kissing him and sat up. They looked eyes, as she began undoing the nod of her nightdress that kept it from falling off her shoulders. Laurie sat up too and helped her get rid of the drape. 

He took a moment to admire Amy’s body and brought her face for another kiss. He then started kissing her jaw, neck, shoulders, until he got to her breasts, causing Amy to moan more and more and throwing her head backward. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t fantasized about this moment. He thought he was going to lose it, and he hadn’t even finished though he was still inside Amy. He only stopped because Amy was pulling his shirt off, and he couldn’t deny her request. They stayed like that, kissing each other's bodies, touching everything. 

She kept riding him and he had to support himself while helping Amy move with him. His experience told him women don’t always orgasm with just penetration, it was awkwardly obtained, but he was thankful it helped for tonight. He found her clit again that made her dig her nails on his shoulders. Knowing that Amy had adjusted to him satisfactorily, he rolled her over so she would be under again. The move was sudden and quick, but he couldn’t hold it any longer, and judging by Amy’s intake of breath he was sure she was ready too. So he began thrusting again, this time with more strength. Amy held her legs around him. It didn’t take long before both reached their climax. Laurie collapsed over her, with his head hidden on her shoulders. Amy kept her eyes closed, overwhelmed by the sensation. Laurie finally lifted his head and looked at Amy. They panted as they tried to catch their breaths without breaking eye contact. After a few ins and outs, they smiled wider than ever before and began laughing. Laurie took her cheek softly and kissed her sweetly on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Responded Amy breathlessly.

Afterward, Laurie rolled over and pulled the only sheets to cover them, since they were sweating. They just kept looking at each other, caressing their bodies still intertwining their limbs. “I like when you call me “my lord” Laurie confessed, while he passed his hand to the exterior part of her leg. During Amy’s extasis she moaned My Lord which took Laurie to his own and came. 

“I like it too,” she said, caressing his nose and lips. “My lady.”

  
  
  
  


The next morning, Amy went to visit Meg. They all sat in the parlor as they made new shirts for the kids.

“Amy, you’re glowing!” Her eldest sister pointed out.

“I should hope so, I’m a bride.” She replied.

“No, well yes...but I think someone had a good night.”

“Meg March!” Amy said looking amazed at her sister’s comment, blushing like a tomato.

“What!? We’re sisters, and we’re both married women now, tell me how was it?”

“It was...great.”

“Mhm. I’m sure a lot of gentlemen are envying Laurie right now.”

“You think?” she answered playfully. Honestly, she didn’t put much thought into it. She was living her happy-ever-after and she could care for anything else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, I can’t believe I finished it. I’m so happy. Thank you so much to everyone who read this story. Those of you who left kudos, commented, bookmarked, subscribed… you really helped me keep writing. In this atypical year, Amy/Laurie’s love story helped me deal with all. 
> 
> In another life, I am Amy March/May Alcott. It’s striking how familiar she is to me.  
> I’m the first one who would declare Amy/Laurie’s wedding elopement as pure gold. However, they did it because they were almost alone and they really wanted to be together without judgment. But, this wedding happened in Concord. And my babies deserve the best wedding ever. Meg was well-known, but Amy's popularity is another label.
> 
> Honestly, I envy those who can write smut with no problem. So, I hope it was okay. 
> 
> Finally, a sequel is coming! I just have to read Louisa’s sequels before though. I don’t want to start writing and cut it halfway like I did with this one.


End file.
